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GoodEnough
February 18th, 2008, 01:37 PM
I'm 17, female and really debating whether I have depression or not and whether I should see someone about it.. I go through stages of hating myself completely but then stages where I just really don't care (about everything around me) and force myself to just 'live' for the sake of it.

I hate the way I look. I look at other people and wish I looked somewhat similar. I've mentioned the idea of a nosejob to my mom lately.. she seems a bit taken aback with the idea but said "well if you can raise the money go ahead". The thing is, I'm not sure whether she believes how much I want one... I turn 18 this September and intend to get one next Summer after I have finished college. I don't know what i'll do if she turns around and just says no. I don't even want to think about my dad's approval. Bare in mind this is the only thing I look forward to nowadays. It's what keeps me going.

My life

Well this is probably about the most I have opened up to anyone.. and it's some people I will never even meet heh. I don't really know what posting this will achieve, perhaps it will just help me come to terms with everything.

I was a normal child, a tomboy. I'd rather hang out with boys as opposed to the girls, they seemed to bore me a bit. My dad is an ICT manager so we have always had a fair number of computers in the house so naturally I would begin surfing the web in chatrooms, playing games etc. Since the age of around 10 i've always thought to be different to everyone i've ever met and I can't understand whether it's a good thing or a bad thing. I miss being in primary school, no one was so judgemental.

I've been shy and quiet for pratically most of my life - definitely a loner. I began to find it harder to talk to others when I first attended Highschool. I'm not sure why, I just can't regulate small talk without feeling uncomfortable. I always feel as though they're judging me behind their eyes, thinking "she is weird", "she is ugly". Even though I have been with the same people day-in-day-out at school for 5 years, I still often avoid their gaze when I talk to them, it's like I have an inability to feel confident around other people. I always feel like i'm being cold and distant when I talk to people. I hate the fact I come across as ignorant, it's like I have 'bad vibes'. I absolutely HATE situations where I see someone I know in a public place, just me on my own and them - I pretend that I don't see them because I just don't want to talk to them (not like they don't want to talk to me either heh), I can't even just give them a smile.

I have around 3 people I feel fairly comfortable with when talking to them, but it seems that the connection we have is beginning to fade because I am in different classes to them etc. One of my best friends left school last year, which was hard to overcome. Me, being the damn pessimist I am, thought he wouldn't want to see me anymore because he has new friends now... I haven't heard a word from him in over 6 months... :(

I've been on the net constantly since I was about 10 - it helps me get away from stuff in real life (poor self image, self confidence, social situations etc.). I'm part of a small internet community where there are pictures of me which are photoshopped slightly. It's a minor self esteem boost when people say i'm hot and stuff, but in the end I just feel shitty about it all. I did something else on the internet but I don't want to say it here, i'm that ashamed of it yes. It weighs on my back a lot (perhaps pm me if you really want to know).

Everything is the same, all the time. I wake up, go to school (reluctantly), have some dinner, have a shower for approximately 20 mins and stay on the pc until midnight. The sad thing is that when i'm on the pc I feel happiest. I wait for the holidays, when I can just sit around, sleep and do nothing. I don't like to be contacted by my friends during them, asking me to come out to nightclubs etc. I'm not that type of person. I always blow them off and this is the time where I'm most impulsive to cut myself (because I know I should go with them).

I don't even think about boys anymore. I've had one boyfriend in the past (when I was 14 or so). We were never intimate and I felt uneasy with him even though we had dated a few months.

I first started to cut a few months ago, just for attention I think. I don't even know myself really. I want people to notice me and realise that THIS is why I act so different and distant, that the real me isn't like this at all. Maybe they'll understand that way?

I was fine when I began writing this, now i'm in tears and feel shitty again. I hate everyone and everything about myself and although people may say 'Yeah I feel the same'. I really really doubt you do, and I hope you never do. I'm jealous of everyone. I want everything to be better again. :(

Atonement
February 18th, 2008, 02:11 PM
move to depression/loss/grief?

GoodEnough
February 18th, 2008, 02:18 PM
Yeah sorry, I realised shortly after I posted. Not sure how to/if I can though.

Atonement
February 18th, 2008, 02:19 PM
a mod needs to do it.

Serenity
February 18th, 2008, 02:54 PM
In the future, please use the report post button.

Cutting and Self Harm :arrow: Depression, Loss, and Grief

thesphinx
February 18th, 2008, 03:37 PM
Well first of all Welcome to vt GoodEnough I'm Mike :)
Sorry your having such a hard time, now it does seem like your depressed and from what I can tell it could be caused by your poor self image.
Because you see depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain and something needs to be causing that imbalance so what you need to do is figure out what is causing this is it accurate to say that your self image has a lot to do with this?
Now you may not like this but I feel that it may be the best thing for you right now, seeing a professional can be VERY helpful in situations like this because they are trained to deal with this type of thing and can get to the root of these problems.
Another good suggestion I would have is try and lay off the computer a little bit and maybe put yourself out there a little try some sports or school activity's and see how you like that.
Physical activity for people with depression is one of the best things you can do not only can it be social but on a physical level your brain is releasing chemicals when you're doing physical things that make you feel happy.

VT is a wonderful spot to get steam out and talk to people who can relate to your situation but sometimes counseling and therapy are needed for recovery.
We're here for you though so don't feel alone :) If you would like to talk 1 on 1 some time feel free to PM me.

Nikki9
February 20th, 2008, 03:09 PM
I hate everyone and everything about myself and although people may say 'Yeah I feel the same'. I really really doubt you do, and I hope you never do. I'm jealous of everyone. I want everything to be better again. :(

Actually, this reminds me of myself. I had a similar problem a few years ago. I didn't know why I was so distant from everyone and hated social interaction, even though I wished I could be more outgoing. I spent all my time on the comp (still do), I hardly ever saw my friends, etc. Mainly exactly the same things you've already mentioned. Heh, I even nearly went to have breast reduction surgery. I hated myself; so I cut myself.

Anyway, my mum found a suicide note in my room one day. I was dragged to see a psychiatrist against my will. That day, I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. Maybe you have the same thing... I suggest you look it up. You may (also) have Social Anxiety Disorder. I definitely think you should see a psychiatrist about this. You are depressed and you need help without a doubt.

As it happens, my social skills have got a lot better over the past few years since I found out =D I'm still uncomfortable where there are loads of people, but when I'm with just a few people I find I can "come out of my shell" =P