sexuality

[ECSTASY]

It used to be a secret that the only person who knows was myself , but i think i need help from you guys and i should mention it here :(
Everything started A few years ago that i started to attract to boys . Well actually i didnt , i dont and i will never accept myself as a gay person . I always loved to have my own children , have a nice family and live like normal people . Well i always was a LGBT supporter but well, i cant accept myself being gay . Im not comfortable with getting married with a man :( these days i tried to watch and masturbate with str8 porn only bit nothing changed . These nights i feel really depressed , im thinking about my future that ill be alone the rest of my life . Im thinking about suiciding . My parents are totally against LGBTs and i want to be straight too . Isnt there any way for me so i can change my sexuality to get attracted to girls? :(

[NeuroTiger]

The three-dimensional structure of your brain changes according to what you are exposed to.
Be expose to things you want to see and be.
"Where there is a will, there is a way!"

[ECSTASY]

The three-dimensional structure of your brain changes according to what you are exposed to.
Be expose to things you want to see and be.
"Where there is a will, there is a way!"



Oh really? :o you mean its changeable? :o

Any other ideas? :|

[Harley Quinn]

You can't change who you are, you can't force yourself into a sexuality. I know you want to be something else, but it doesn't work that way and no matter what you try to change it, you will always go back to being who you are. You can't help who you're attracted to and if you constantly try denying yourself, you'll never be happy anyway.

[AlexOnToast]

It used to be a secret that the only person who knows was myself , but i think i need help from you guys and i should mention it here :(
Everything started A few years ago that i started to attract to boys . Well actually i didnt , i dont and i will never accept myself as a gay person . I always loved to have my own children , have a nice family and live like normal people . Well i always was a LGBT supporter but well, i cant accept myself being gay . Im not comfortable with getting married with a man :( these days i tried to watch and masturbate with str8 porn only bit nothing changed . These nights i feel really depressed , im thinking about my future that ill be alone the rest of my life . Im thinking about suiciding . My parents are totally against LGBTs and i want to be straight too . Isnt there any way for me so i can change my sexuality to get attracted to girls? :(

Firstly, Let me say that I am here for you if you need to talk.
It is PERFECTLY fine for you to be gay, and if anyone tell you different, they are being ignorant and if you listen to them you will get hurt.
If i were you, I would move to a more LGBT friendly country when you get older, such as here in Ireland. It's perfectly possible for you to have kids, and so long as you are a nice, caring person, you will NEVER be alone, I promise you. You don't even have to get married, many people including straights choose not to get married.
If you feel like suicide, it is because of the cruelness of others, you have nothing to be ashamed of and if they have a problem with your sexuality then it's THEIR problem.

[ECSTASY]

You can't change who you are, you can't force yourself into a sexuality. I know you want to be something else, but it doesn't work that way and no matter what you try to change it, you will always go back to being who you are. You can't help who you're attracted to and if you constantly try denying yourself, you'll never be happy anyway.

Its not possible to come out in this society...society and circumstances of iran ... Even if it was possible , it wouldnt be possible for me to acceptmyself as a gay . Sometimes i think suicide is the best way . Im really tired . The character i have in my own room is completely difderent with how i act in society. Sexuality, religion , and other things . Im just saying to my self everyday : damn, life really sux

Firstly, Let me say that I am here for you if you need to talk.
It is PERFECTLY fine for you to be gay, and if anyone tell you different, they are being ignorant and if you listen to them you will get hurt.
If i were you, I would move to a more LGBT friendly country when you get older, such as here in Ireland. It's perfectly possible for you to have kids, and so long as you are a nice, caring person, you will NEVER be alone, I promise you. You don't even have to get married, many people including straights choose not to get married.
If you feel like suicide, it is because of the cruelness of others, you have nothing to be ashamed of and if they have a problem with your sexuality then it's THEIR problem.

I really cant :( my parents speciLly my mom always talks about me getting married in future . I keep saying that i dont wanna get married but they just think that im kidding .and you know , its a lil bit harder for iranians to move outside country to live .
wish people were as logical and nice as you here

[From Chris]

It used to be a secret that the only person who knows was myself , but i think i need help from you guys and i should mention it here :(
Everything started A few years ago that i started to attract to boys . Well actually i didnt , i dont and i will never accept myself as a gay person . I always loved to have my own children , have a nice family and live like normal people . Well i always was a LGBT supporter but well, i cant accept myself being gay . Im not comfortable with getting married with a man :( these days i tried to watch and masturbate with str8 porn only bit nothing changed . These nights i feel really depressed , im thinking about my future that ill be alone the rest of my life . Im thinking about suiciding . My parents are totally against LGBTs and i want to be straight too . Isnt there any way for me so i can change my sexuality to get attracted to girls? :(

Hi there Ectasy. :) It's important to know you can't change who you are, whether that is gay, or anything else. Suicide is never the answer to anything because there is always another way! When i first realized i was gay a couple years ago, i was in denial for a very long time. I didn't want to have that life style or to have to word about opinions or judgement of others, yet i still supported LGBT. Eventually, i embraced it because there is no way around it. It's not worth trying to live your life trying to be something you're not! You will just be miserable and eventually who you are will overcome it. You shouldn't have to be something you're not, so just be yourself! :) If you want to talk about it, as someone who's mutually went through denial, i'm happy to help.

-From Chris

[TapDancer]

It used to be a secret that the only person who knows was myself , but i think i need help from you guys and i should mention it here :(
Everything started A few years ago that i started to attract to boys . Well actually i didnt , i dont and i will never accept myself as a gay person . I always loved to have my own children , have a nice family and live like normal people . Well i always was a LGBT supporter but well, i cant accept myself being gay . Im not comfortable with getting married with a man :( these days i tried to watch and masturbate with str8 porn only bit nothing changed . These nights i feel really depressed , im thinking about my future that ill be alone the rest of my life . Im thinking about suiciding . My parents are totally against LGBTs and i want to be straight too . Isnt there any way for me so i can change my sexuality to get attracted to girls? :(

Don't kill yourself. I know it's hard, harder still because of where you live. Never give in, there is a lucky young man waiting for you somewhere, and maybe hes not in Iran. There is always a way. I really don't want you to kill yourself. There is a great support network here on VT, please use us and our knowledge. We can help you, this isn't the end, you have options.

[ECSTASY]

Hi there Ectasy. :) It's important to know you can't change who you are, whether that is gay, or anything else. Suicide is never the answer to anything because there is always another way! When i first realized i was gay a couple years ago, i was in denial for a very long time. I didn't want to have that life style or to have to word about opinions or judgement of others, yet i still supported LGBT. Eventually, i embraced it because there is no way around it. It's not worth trying to live your life trying to be something you're not! You will just be miserable and eventually who you are will overcome it. You shouldn't have to be something you're not, so just be yourself! :) If you want to talk about it, as someone who's mutually went through denial, i'm happy to help.

-From Chris

Don't kill yourself. I know it's hard, harder still because of where you live. Never give in, there is a lucky young man waiting for you somewhere, and maybe hes not in Iran. There is always a way. I really don't want you to kill yourself. There is a great support network here on VT, please use us and our knowledge. We can help you, this isn't the end, you have options.

Thank you so much guys :/ probably you are right :/

[TapDancer]

Thank you so much guys :/ probably you are right :/

We mean it! We'll be here every step of the way. I went through a long stage of denial, my mother is an Anglican priest. I mean, like I get how difficult it could be for you in Iran, being a muslim country. Stay strong, you will get through it.

[NeuroTiger]

Oh really? :o you mean its changeable? :o

Any other ideas? :|

In my opinion, it's changeable.
Ive read that the things you are exposed to have a great impact on your brain.
Well, I'll do some more reading and see how I can be a better help.

[ECSTASY]

In my opinion, it's changeable.
Ive read that the things you are exposed to have a great impact on your brain.
Well, I'll do some more reading and see how I can be a better help.



Would be happy if that could happen .

[TapDancer]

In my opinion, it's changeable.
Ive read that the things you are exposed to have a great impact on your brain.
Well, I'll do some more reading and see how I can be a better help.

When you find that book, you let us know. Believe me, if it was something we weren't born with, something we chose, or something we could change, most of us would have done it. I am proud of who I am, but being straight would be so much easier in society.

[ECSTASY]

When you find that book, you let us know. Believe me, if it was something we weren't born with, something we chose, or something we could change, most of us would have done it. I am proud of who I am, but being straight would be so much easier in society.


Lets have some hope dude :s that should be possible :/

[The Flash]

I would like to sugar coat this, but I know that Iran is a very anti-LGBT country and there could be punishments for being gay. So for your own well being, I would advise that you just keep it to your self and not tell anyone.

You can't change who you are, you were born that way.
If I were in your position, I would move to a more pro-LGBT country, as soon as possible.
(Sorry, this is the worst advice I have given, but it's the best I have for the position you are in)

[ECSTASY]

I would like to sugar coat this, but I know that Iran is a very anti-LGBT country and there could be punishments for being gay. So for your own well being, I would advise that you just keep it to your self and not tell anyone.

You can't change who you are, you were born that way.
If I were in your position, I would move to a more pro-LGBT country, as soon as possible.
(Sorry, this is the worst advice I have given, but it's the best I have for the position you are in)

well i know. thanks for your advice m8. probably there is no way and i have to deal with it :/

[MortimerB]

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Ehm... What? If you would be so kind as to bugger off...

Dude, I can see you're in a nasty spot. And I'm afraid limited knowledge and lack of actual experience of the Iran... traditions... heavily influences my ways of helping...
Though I will say one thing; Do not ever consider suicide. I'm not religious or anything, so I don't believe in going to heaven for such an act but it is nevertheless not a way out.
I've considered suicide myself several times in my past but I carried on - and in spite of my lonely, dire condition I'm now feeling more comfortable than ever.

All I can really give is some inspiring words; Don't give up, keep your mind healthy and think every decision that has to do with your life and future through! Best of luck.

[saranour]

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[ska8er]

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[Lucy G]

Its not possible to come out in this society...society and circumstances of iran ... Even if it was possible , it wouldnt be possible for me to acceptmyself as a gay . Sometimes i think suicide is the best way . Im really tired . The character i have in my own room is completely difderent with how i act in society. Sexuality, religion , and other things . Im just saying to my self everyday : damn, life really sux



I really cant :( my parents speciLly my mom always talks about me getting married in future . I keep saying that i dont wanna get married but they just think that im kidding .and you know , its a lil bit harder for iranians to move outside country to live .
wish people were as logical and nice as you here

Wow this is really sad to read. My immediate thoughts came when I saw where you lived and I presumed that society over there would have been difficult to accept gay relationships, unlike in the UK. There are lots of good posts on this so keep going and talk to us !

[ECSTASY]

Wow this is really sad to read. My immediate thoughts came when I saw where you lived and I presumed that society over there would have been difficult to accept gay relationships, unlike in the UK. There are lots of good posts on this so keep going and talk to us !

Still here , but I'm just too old to be active over here now.
Btw I'm still alive , and still trying to run away!!!
I really really appreciate this forum and it's members cause probably if I ever tried to get along without seeking for help I would've been dead . I was too suicidal , I'm still dealing with depression and it ruins everything some days but guys here were always there when I needed someone . I still remember the ones who cared and helped me <3

[Second Chance]

Still here , but I'm just too old to be active over here now.
Btw I'm still alive , and still trying to run away!!!
I really really appreciate this forum and it's members cause probably if I ever tried to get along without seeking for help I would've been dead . I was too suicidal , I'm still dealing with depression and it ruins everything some days but guys here were always there when I needed someone . I still remember the ones who cared and helped me <3

I hope that things are all right with you now. It seems like this thread is something like four years old, but since you have posted in it recently I figure it is worth offering my opinion.

No question in your part of the world being gay is definitely not going to be easy assuming you're still in Iran. At the same time, you do not want to be something you're not and go out with a girl or even start a family when you have absolutely no ability to do so. I would not say that you're broken at all, and the reality is that you're the way you are for a reason. I would not beat yourself up about the way things are in your country because it was not until relatively recently things opened up in America and other countries when it came to gay issues. It definitely is unfair that you cannot be fully who you are, but it seems like even during the worst of times gay people can survive. I think what counts is that you're a good person and that people like you for who you are as opposed to what they want you to be. Especially if you're a good person who does a lot for your family and community sometimes people turn a blind eye to certain things such as sexuality.

I hope that you can get help for your depression, and just know that being gay is not a curse or something that makes you less than. While you most likely have to live under the radar due to the situation in your country the reality is that you are so much more than your sexuality.

[ECSTASY]

I hope that things are all right with you now. It seems like this thread is something like four years old, but since you have posted in it recently I figure it is worth offering my opinion.

No question in your part of the world being gay is definitely not going to be easy assuming you're still in Iran. At the same time, you do not want to be something you're not and go out with a girl or even start a family when you have absolutely no ability to do so. I would not say that you're broken at all, and the reality is that you're the way you are for a reason. I would not beat yourself up about the way things are in your country because it was not until relatively recently things opened up in America and other countries when it came to gay issues. It definitely is unfair that you cannot be fully who you are, but it seems like even during the worst of times gay people can survive. I think what counts is that you're a good person and that people like you for who you are as opposed to what they want you to be. Especially if you're a good person who does a lot for your family and community sometimes people turn a blind eye to certain things such as sexuality.

I hope that you can get help for your depression, and just know that being gay is not a curse or something that makes you less than. While you most likely have to live under the radar due to the situation in your country the reality is that you are so much more than your sexuality.

Thanks for your warm words <3 Luckily my parents turned out to be supportive and they're still trying to take me out of here. Takes a few more years but I hope things will go well.

[Second Chance]

Thanks for your warm words <3 Luckily my parents turned out to be supportive and they're still trying to take me out of here. Takes a few more years but I hope things will go well.

I am really glad that your parents are supportive. From what I understand about Persians/Iranians as a group is that they are actually pretty moderate in terms of their beliefs. After all, your country has one of the world's oldest cultures, and it was a rather large empire made up of many different people until 1979. More than anything, if things at home are all right, then you are good even if you cannot be open about your sexuality right now.

It is probably just as well that you wait a couple of years anyway to leave your country because I am sure you are still in school, and if you are close to graduating, then you probably need to work a couple of years in your field of study so that you get experience so that you can get a position in another place. Hopefully, one day your country can loosen up, but that is ultimately up to you folks and not those of us from the outside.

I hope you can find a place that accepts you as a person and that you will not be too far away from loved ones in case family is important to you.

[ECSTASY]

I am really glad that your parents are supportive. From what I understand about Persians/Iranians as a group is that they are actually pretty moderate in terms of their beliefs. After all, your country has one of the world's oldest cultures, and it was a rather large empire made up of many different people until 1979. More than anything, if things at home are all right, then you are good even if you cannot be open about your sexuality right now.

It is probably just as well that you wait a couple of years anyway to leave your country because I am sure you are still in school, and if you are close to graduating, then you probably need to work a couple of years in your field of study so that you get experience so that you can get a position in another place. Hopefully, one day your country can loosen up, but that is ultimately up to you folks and not those of us from the outside.

I hope you can find a place that accepts you as a person and that you will not be too far away from loved ones in case family is important to you.

Majority of people aren't Muslim nowadays since our government has abused religion to steal lots of money people are all pissed off towards religion and politics, like none of my friends are Muslim at all. They're not traditional but the fact is that they're still homophobes and it actually takes time to change their wrong culture. I just gave up on people here, I was raised here but not with their culture. I was always rejected by my society as a teen not only because I'm gay but because of my attitude and the way I think as well whilst most of the people from other countries respected me for who I am. I'm studying for a bachelor's degree for now, after I take my bachelor's I'll get out to study for master's and try to find a job somewhere else.
We all grew up here in this forum , I'm not active here anymore cause I'm not counted as a teen now but I really miss here sometimes , so I just take a look :)

[Second Chance]

Majority of people aren't Muslim nowadays since our government has abused religion to steal lots of money people are all pissed off towards religion and politics, like none of my friends are Muslim at all. They're not traditional but the fact is that they're still homophobes and it actually takes time to change their wrong culture. I just gave up on people here, I was raised here but not with their culture. I was always rejected by my society as a teen not only because I'm gay but because of my attitude and the way I think as well whilst most of the people from other countries respected me for who I am. I'm studying for a bachelor's degree for now, after I take my bachelor's I'll get out to study for master's and try to find a job somewhere else.
We all grew up here in this forum , I'm not active here anymore cause I'm not counted as a teen now but I really miss here sometimes , so I just take a look :)

That is too bad about the situation in your country, and I hope that things get better over there.

As for people being homophobic, the reality is that most places are not exactly gay-friendly though it is true that in Western Countries homosexuality is tolerated for the most part. Especially in traditional societies from which you came it is hardly surprising that they are homophobic, but I would not get angry at them because that is just the way things have been for so long that people just do not know any other way. Putting aside your sexuality, hopefully, you are on good terms with your family and that you have friends around you who do not care about your sexuality.

Your country seems like an interesting one, and I think it is a pretty ancient country that has a lot of history. Hopefully, one day things will be all right so that visitors can come into your country and see all that it has to offer.

Continuing your education is the way to go, and that way you can eventually go to a place where you can be yourself.

[ECSTASY]

That is too bad about the situation in your country, and I hope that things get better over there.

As for people being homophobic, the reality is that most places are not exactly gay-friendly though it is true that in Western Countries homosexuality is tolerated for the most part. Especially in traditional societies from which you came it is hardly surprising that they are homophobic, but I would not get angry at them because that is just the way things have been for so long that people just do not know any other way. Putting aside your sexuality, hopefully, you are on good terms with your family and that you have friends around you who do not care about your sexuality.

Your country seems like an interesting one, and I think it is a pretty ancient country that has a lot of history. Hopefully, one day things will be all right so that visitors can come into your country and see all that it has to offer.

Continuing your education is the way to go, and that way you can eventually go to a place where you can be yourself.

Thanks so much <3 well yeah im not i to history tbh but iran has got a rich history :)

[ECSTASY]

Accepting myself took a really long time and the toxic Iranians and the gov who put me under tough mental pressure couldn't stop me. I was hopeless, kept dealing with suicidal thoughts and I was all dead inside. Now I'm moving to the Netherlands to study and work in less than 2 months. This thread is really old and I'm not sure if the old members are still active here or not. I'm not even sure if the whole community is working. but I just wanted to thank all of you guys for being there when I had no one to talk to <3

[Maxsmith]

It's good to see an old thread rpthat has come full circle and a has worked out

[Bart-Simpson]

Accepting myself took a really long time and the toxic Iranians and the gov who put me under tough mental pressure couldn't stop me. I was hopeless, kept dealing with suicidal thoughts and I was all dead inside. Now I'm moving to the Netherlands to study and work in less than 2 months. This thread is really old and I'm not sure if the old members are still active here or not. I'm not even sure if the whole community is working. but I just wanted to thank all of you guys for being there when I had no one to talk to <3

Hey, I have not been here for long but I do wish you people accept you as you are without judging you.
Just the fact you didn't let down and that you overcame all that you went through is already a victory you can be proud of ;)
I hope all will be fine in your new country :)