Not sure how to ask him...

[Aleksandr]

Hei, nimeni on Aleksandr. I am Finnish. I speak bad English, so forgive me for mistakes.

I am in college in America, studying psychology. And I have a roommate. I did not choose my roommate, and at beginning of the year, we talk rarely. However, around November we start spending more time together, and now I have a problem.

I am gay, but I am too afraid to say so. No one know for a very long time. I never had relations with another boy. But my roommate makes me confused. The semester ended in December, and before I went home to my country, my roommate initiated sexual activity with me. We were on our couch playing some game (cannot remember) and sharing a blanket. He start fondling me, putting his cheek against my throat, trying to hold my hands. I got very horny, and everything went fast after that. We kissed for a while, then he push me down on the couch, and he took off my pants. He did not take off his pants or play with himself, but he played with me until I cum. He kissed me a lot and roamed my body with his free hand while touching me. It was amazing for me, but he never made himself cum. I was confused about that, but after I had finished he said he was glad I felt good. After that, we slept together on the couch for a few hours, and after we did not talk about it again.

Normally, he is very touchy, very joking about sexual things with me but not obscene. When we watch TV together, he normally leans on me and we share blankets when it is cold. He walk around naked sometimes, and does not seem to mind me seeing. But he never tell me he is gay or bisexual. He never try to play with me before recently. He message me often while I am in my own country, but he never say anything about masturbating since then. I am so confused. Is he interested in me? Does he want relationship with me, or something sexual? Why did he play with me but not himself?

Paljon kiitoksia!

[WeAreOneRepublic]

I think, as hard as it may be, to tell him you are gay. It is likely that it will clear up the situation in some ways and might cause confessions from himself. I do not know how to bring it up or when is appropriate to state this.

I didn't red any definite signs of him having feelings for you so I can't give answers. You won't know until you have opened up about yourself or question him first about what sort of relationship her wants from you.

He may have not taken off his pants or pleasures himself because he felt insecure about some aspects(his body). Not much else I can say for that.

[ImagineRepublicCity]

I would say he probably is but depending on his background, you can't particularly tell.
You should let him know that you're gay and he might open up to you as well. If he is gay/bi as well (which I would assume so) and if you're interested, you should try going for it. c:
You should talk about it more when you go back to college as well.
All the best~

[Living For Love]

I think he likes you, the deal is whether he wants to have a serious relationship with you or just want to have sexual activities occasionally. That's something you need to find for yourself, but if he is straight, he needs to be curious at some point, and that's an advantage for you.

It doesn't matter if you tell him you're gay or not, because if he isn't there's nothing you can do. See how he acts around girls, or simply ask him, if you feel comfortable with it.

And the fact that he didn't touch himself is normal, I'm sure he was as horny as you when you guys were messing around.

[Aleksandr]

Many thanks to all that answered.

I fly to America tomorrow, semester start January 13th. I talk to him last night, mentioned the fun we had before the semester ended. He laughed and said we would have to try it again. But that did not answer my question. I do not know how to ask him what he want. How should I ask him if he want a relationship or just sex? I know, it seem pathetic, but I am scared to tell him I am gay when he is not and is just exploring.

[Living For Love]

Many thanks to all that answered.

I fly to America tomorrow, semester start January 13th. I talk to him last night, mentioned the fun we had before the semester ended. He laughed and said we would have to try it again. But that did not answer my question. I do not know how to ask him what he want. How should I ask him if he want a relationship or just sex? I know, it seem pathetic, but I am scared to tell him I am gay when he is not and is just exploring.

Ask him if he thinks it can be considered "gay" if you two are experimenting like that. If he says no, then I think he just sees you as his fuck buddy, not a boyfriend, and he just want to explore with you. If he says yes, then he must be gay or bi, because he's aware of the fact that what you two are doing would never happen between 100% straight guys, so you might try to pursue a relationship with him.

However, even if he's gay, and he wants to experiment with you, he might not be actually interested in starting a relationship with you, he might not have those deep feelings for you. That's something you need to work on, try to make your friendship even stronger, hang out with him, have fun with him, not only in a sexual way, in case you're really interested in being his boyfriend.

[Aleksandr]

Ask him if he thinks it can be considered "gay" if you two are experimenting like that. If he says no, then I think he just sees you as his fuck buddy, not a boyfriend, and he just want to explore with you. If he says yes, then he must be gay or bi, because he's aware of the fact that what you two are doing would never happen between 100% straight guys, so you might try to pursue a relationship with him.

However, even if he's gay, and he wants to experiment with you, he might not be actually interested in starting a relationship with you, he might not have those deep feelings for you. That's something you need to work on, try to make your friendship even stronger, hang out with him, have fun with him, not only in a sexual way, in case you're really interested in being his boyfriend.

I ask him if he is gay when I returned, he say he did not know. He say he is confused but he wants to experiment. I am not sure if he mean sex or just masturbation. We have not done anything since I return home but he want to experiment tomorrow. Neither of us have class tomorrow.

I am pretty sure he does not want relationship at this point, I am not very attractive and if he is not actually gay I would never have him. But I am still interested in seeing what will happen.