Social Anxiety and Teenage Awkwardness

[ausley]

Well starting mostly this year I've been having a lot of problems socially in terms of in my mind. I don't really have a main or set of main friends. Its really hard for me to interact withpeople naturally and I never know what to say or talk about. This makes things all the more difficult because I feel like I always have to entertain the person talking to ne and when there is silence I get really paranoid that they're bored. I don't really know how to talk to a person and get close to people like Bro best friends. Its twice as hard too because people always like to be with funny people and honestly im not that person at all. When people say oh just talk about things you like or do I try that but then I feel like all im doing is talking about myself. Has anyone ever gone through what im going through? did you overcome it? What do you talk about with people? What makes you feel close to a person? How do you talk and what about to your close friend? As a person how do you act?

[RavleIncarnate]

I used to do that. Then I met Enrico. Easy, you just have to meet someone who's positive points cover your negatives, and vice versa. Be total opposites, or super-similar. Then meet all their friends. And BAAM! You've got friends!

[Cognizant]

I think a lot of people are like this. I get anxious when going to parties with a lot of people I don't know, my friends are scattered from all different social groups/cliques, and I still struggle to "get the ball rolling" with friends I've known since First Grade.

I totally get what you're saying with the boredom and the really "close bros" type of friendship. It often does upset me, but I just sometimes have to live with the fact that I don't know how to be super social like that. For me, all I do is turn on my friendliness and laughter and just try to get the ball rolling with small talk.

[ksdnfkfr]

idk what kind of advice i can offer.
i am autistic so socializing and making friends really is not in the cards for me.
I was lucky enough to have a kid my age move in next door to me and take me
under his wing. He is kinda popular and has a few buddies. But i have never been
able to connect with them. So im actually only lonely when i am around a bunch
of ppl but still isolated. i guess what makes me feel close to Ryan is that he
understands me so well and always shows a big interest in keeping our friendship going.
We talk about whatever and are totally open to each other. but like i said - it was just
luck he came along.

[Danny Phantom]

Well starting mostly this year I've been having a lot of problems socially in terms of in my mind. I don't really have a main or set of main friends. Its really hard for me to interact withpeople naturally and I never know what to say or talk about. This makes things all the more difficult because I feel like I always have to entertain the person talking to ne and when there is silence I get really paranoid that they're bored. I don't really know how to talk to a person and get close to people like Bro best friends. Its twice as hard too because people always like to be with funny people and honestly im not that person at all. When people say oh just talk about things you like or do I try that but then I feel like all im doing is talking about myself. Has anyone ever gone through what im going through? did you overcome it? What do you talk about with people? What makes you feel close to a person? How do you talk and what about to your close friend? As a person how do you act?

I found that it is easier to speak to someone on my own with just them away from everyone else. Less people to worry about. All my friends are polar opposites of me, and they have drastically increased my self confidence. I still stutter a lot and trail off sentences sometimes but people in my life all understand and know that I have a social anxiety problem. Surround yourself with nice and understanding people (there are actually a lot out there) and just be happy and positive around them. Ask them questions and be nice, don't harp on negatives or anything (I only discuss things that bother me with people who I have established a close relationship with me, not acquaintances.). I have Also found that the older I get, the less evident the social anxiety is, it became less of an obstacle for me. If people become bored of you or mean to you, well then these people aren't good people to begin with and aren't worthy of your friendship. It'll get better as long as you try and take a risk, i have made wonderful loving friends this way and I hope you do too! :)