I think I have a phobia/anxiety

[Miserabilia]

I know I have posted here before with different things,
and I know I keep rambling on...
But for some things I feel and have always felt, I just feel there is something going on, and it doesn't feel good.
(sorry long post)

I think I have some kind of phobia.
It started when I was young, I would always place my bed so that I would be in the corner of the room, and nothing could be behind me (specificaly, nothing could watch me) and I would tightly close the curtains and door.
Now I know more kids are scared in the night, etc,
but for me this continued.
I've always known I'm irrationaly scared of people looking at me;
especially people looking me straight in the eyes from a distance.

But I've never realised how ridiculous my own behavious started to get over the years.
Besides from many compulsions I've developed one thing most distinctly;
a fear for being watched.
I'm not just talking about public speaking (Though I fear it, too), or being shy or embarresed.

When I am somewhere (especially when I'm alone) I am terrified that everyone is looking at me,
and when I hear people laugh I feel like I know they are laughing at me, and when they talk they talk about me.
It isn't just in public though.
When I speak to people I avoid eye contact usually,even with close friends and family.
I hate having to look people in the face.

What's worse, is when I am talking to someone or they are talking to me,
if I become aware of them looking at me,
I feel terrible,
and my eyes tear up (not like i am going to cry, but out of nervousnes).
I even have this when I am walking somewhere and I walk past someone,
eyes tearing up, breathing fast, hart beating, etc.

I suppose this is some kind of phobia.
The thing is I didnd't even suspsect it from myself untill I saw my own patterns.
I am not extremely shy, and I can kind of talk and make jokes and do what other people do,
it's just the eyes that I hate.

I really,
really hate it,
and it makes me feel terrible.


forgot to mention;
this is the reason that in every classroom I always sit in the back corner.
If I sit in a place where someone (anyone) has direct vision of me I get nervous, and scared,
and I feel terrible untill I go away.

Any advice from someone with a social phobia or anxiety?
What do you think?

[AlexOnToast]

I actually hate direct eye contact too...I usually look at my phone or pretend theres something itching my wrist so i can look down lol

[Miserabilia]

I actually hate direct eye contact too...I usually look at my phone or pretend theres something itching my wrist so i can look down lol

I really can't stand it.
It's been getting worse, too.

[Warrior]

I think it might just be fear/insecurity, like you don't want people to look at you because you don't want them to see? Whatever it is, I think that you can get over it, theres nothing wrong with eye contact, and I think that time/confronting the fear would be the best way to fight/fix it.

[Atempinfer]

Well.

[ksdnfkfr]

Eye to eye contact is one thing.
But feeling like you are always being watched sounds like maybe classic paranoia to me.
I don't think it is all that uncommon.
There is even an old song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YvAYIJSSZY) about it.
Now for me with my autism, eye contact is virtually imposable for me to
maintain and I also always feel like ppl are watching me and passing judgement.
The thing when it comes to something like that is to find out what is causing
the problem. I always feel like i am pushing counselor, but I think talking
to a school counselor about it if you can would be a good step.

[Miserabilia]

thanks everyone