This may be an issue...

[Meganium]

I may have a small crush on a good friend of mine at my school which is all boys. I've always been straight and shown a primary interest in girls, although recently I started seeing that come into play when I'm around these other guys.

I've said before that I'm concerned about this, since the majority of the school is against homosexuality to some degree, I've tried to just ignore it and move on. Which has worked. Just not for this one guy.

My main concern, is that there's a high chance that he will be my roommate next year, and if this carries over, I don't want to make things awkward or act differently than I usually do; and if this does escalate, then I sure as hell don't want to hold it in while I'm living with him.

If things were to become more serious (which I doubt they will, but still.), then I would very easily trust him with my secret and know that it wouldn't cause chaos. However, due to his religious background and own personal opinions, I could see him distancing himself from me as a friend, which I don't want either.

This isn't incredibly serious, especially not now, but still I'm trying to think ahead and make this easier for myself. This whole thought process regarding my sexuality is something I'd rather not deal with now, but I want to be prepared for if I do.

Any advice or comments are appreciated.

[AlexOnToast]

Hmm it could just be a passing phase... I know its probably not the most helpful advice, but all I can say is to wait a while and see how you still feel

[steellord321]

i had this whole thing i wrote but u said *may* have small crush. You need to figure that out what u want first. Could be to experiment, or just admire him, or what? Think on it. Now i don't to waste all i wrote so...



If you live together that small crush could become huge. Best case, he will like u in that way too and that would be sweet. Odds of this aren't good tho. Next best case, crush goes away or stays small and u get to live with your friend. Not so bad.

Next best case, you fall in love and he reacts fine, still your friend. Problem? You are stuck in small room with a guy you in love with and no way to act on it. That *sucks*.

Worst case, in love and u "come out" and it hurts friendship. Now, stuck in that room *and* he will become very uncomfortable stuck there with u and bitter that he has to avoid his own room and it could get nasty even if he's not huge homophobe.

You know your friend best but living with someone complicates it all. I see a few options. You can ask for diff roomate now and avoid all that. You can hope the crush goes away and do nothing. Big if.

Could also just tell him and if he reacts bad, insist on other roomate. Not after the worst case but soon. I know it hurts to lose friends believe me, but u don't need "friends" that will ditch u for that.

[Meganium]

Hmm it could just be a passing phase... I know its probably not the most helpful advice, but all I can say is to wait a while and see how you still feel

No worries, your response is valuable and appreciated.

You're probably right about it being a phase, since again, my primary interest is girls and that always seems to overshadow any other brief affections I've had. Quite quickly too. I just don't want this to escalate to anything that will end up in me getting hurt and our friendship turning into a huge awkward mess. I doubt it will, but I want other people's guesses/suggestions.

i had this whole thing i wrote but u said *may* have small crush. You need to figure that out what u want first. Could be to experiment, or just admire him, or what? Think on it. Now i don't to waste all i wrote so...

Sorry to put you through that. I'm aware that I should probably wait things out for a bit before I can say anything indefinitely. As well as think about it some more. I don't really want a relationship or to experiment, but I do have a very high amount of respect for him and the way he does things.

If you live together that small crush could become huge. Best case, he will like u in that way too and that would be sweet. Odds of this aren't good tho. Next best case, crush goes away or stays small and u get to live with your friend. Not so bad.

Next best case, you fall in love and he reacts fine, still your friend. Problem? You are stuck in small room with a guy you in love with and no way to act on it. That *sucks*.

Worst case, in love and u "come out" and it hurts friendship. Now, stuck in that room *and* he will become very uncomfortable stuck there with u and bitter that he has to avoid his own room and it could get nasty even if he's not huge homophobe.

My other note that I should've mentioned at the beginning of this thread, is that he is a devout Catholic. There's little to no chance of having any kind of relationship with him besides a friendship and that's perfectly fine and I accept it. I just don't want things to be awkward or frustrated if these feelings do persist when he's my roommate. For either of us if It comes to that.

You know your friend best but living with someone complicates it all. I see a few options. You can ask for diff roomate now and avoid all that. You can hope the crush goes away and do nothing. Big if.


As I said to Alex, I'm sure that this will pass as time does, but it's a concern that lingers now that I know what our situation is going to be like, and I just don't want to ruin anything.

Could also just tell him and if he reacts bad, insist on other roomate. Not after the worst case but soon. I know it hurts to lose friends believe me, but u don't need "friends" that will ditch u for that.

He's a level-headed person who would understand if I told him that. But that still wouldn't prevent awkwardness to some degree. He's still treat me with respect, but he'll do so in a way that will probably clearly translate to "this is uncomfortable."

[austeen2]

Im in a similar situation right now. I really like this guy and since its the break now im too scared to facebook message him :(

[joejoe]

I think that you should really try hard to just be yourself. If you really really really don't want to come out or anything serious, then you could just make hints to him. ... Or just talk to him in private. But there is nothing to be ashamed of

[nik511881]

You have to fight it (unless if you're really sure that you're not straight)... it will be really hard in the changing room if you can't control your boner. Trust me. I know this because there was a gay guy in my swimming team.

You should only tell him if you're really sure that you're gay. If you're having doubts then take my advice above. It will be really hard to turn straight once you're into shlongs so be weary of your decision.

[Living For Love]

I think it's good that you can actually be roommates with him next year. It might be only a crush, it doesn't mean your gay or anything, if you're into girls, than that's it. But you can always try to be his friend, not to close if you're not comfortable with being too close to him.

When I was in middle school, I always developed a special kind of friendship with the person that sat next to me because it was kinda natural, we were all classes sitting next to each other so we just created bonds, and I'm pretty sure that you can create bonds with him as well. You don't need to tell him you have a crush on him, if I had a crush on a guy and knew he was 100% straight, being friends with him, talking to him, only being with him would be enough to make me happy.

If you're sure of your sexuality, then you have nothing to fear. Just act naturally when you're with him and it will be alright.

[From Chris]

I may have a small crush on a good friend of mine at my school which is all boys. I've always been straight and shown a primary interest in girls, although recently I started seeing that come into play when I'm around these other guys.

I've said before that I'm concerned about this, since the majority of the school is against homosexuality to some degree, I've tried to just ignore it and move on. Which has worked. Just not for this one guy.

My main concern, is that there's a high chance that he will be my roommate next year, and if this carries over, I don't want to make things awkward or act differently than I usually do; and if this does escalate, then I sure as hell don't want to hold it in while I'm living with him.

If things were to become more serious (which I doubt they will, but still.), then I would very easily trust him with my secret and know that it wouldn't cause chaos. However, due to his religious background and own personal opinions, I could see him distancing himself from me as a friend, which I don't want either.

This isn't incredibly serious, especially not now, but still I'm trying to think ahead and make this easier for myself. This whole thought process regarding my sexuality is something I'd rather not deal with now, but I want to be prepared for if I do.

Any advice or comments are appreciated.

Perhaps you're just a little curious. :) I think what you're going through is normal. If you think your crush is very serious, then i would consider telling him if you think that's the best case of action. However, just know that it can result in he distancing himself from you. SO if you do tell him, i suggest you have some reasons already prepared to keep him comfortable about it. Like saying it doesn't change who you are or anything. :)

-From Chris

[Meganium]

I think it's good that you can actually be roommates with him next year. It might be only a crush, it doesn't mean your gay or anything, if you're into girls, than that's it. But you can always try to be his friend, not to close if you're not comfortable with being too close to him.

When I was in middle school, I always developed a special kind of friendship with the person that sat next to me because it was kinda natural, we were all classes sitting next to each other so we just created bonds, and I'm pretty sure that you can create bonds with him as well. You don't need to tell him you have a crush on him, if I had a crush on a guy and knew he was 100% straight, being friends with him, talking to him, only being with him would be enough to make me happy.

If you're sure of your sexuality, then you have nothing to fear. Just act naturally when you're with him and it will be alright.

I'm pretty much on this boat. I'm sure that this is exactly the situation. I just wasn't really thinking it through. While I wait, I'll try to keep this in mind before things are finalized. Thank you.

Perhaps you're just a little curious. :) I think what you're going through is normal. If you think your crush is very serious, then i would consider telling him if you think that's the best case of action. However, just know that it can result in he distancing himself from you. SO if you do tell him, i suggest you have some reasons already prepared to keep him comfortable about it. Like saying it doesn't change who you are or anything. :)

-From Chris

I'll keep this in my head if my feelings do escalate significantly. It's going to kill me if I can't tell him anything should that be the case, but I think that this is probably the best way. Thank you.

[From Chris]

I'm pretty much on this boat. I'm sure that this is exactly the situation. I just wasn't really thinking it through. While I wait, I'll try to keep this in mind before things are finalized. Thank you.



I'll keep this in my head if my feelings do escalate significantly. It's going to kill me if I can't tell him anything should that be the case, but I think that this is probably the best way. Thank you.

Glad i could help. :)

-From Chris

[CostumerServiceGuy]

It's a phase. It will go unless u have feeling 4 him, and therefore bisexual.