Why do people still insist that being gay is a choice?

[AlexOnToast]

You can't choose it. Fact. What you CAN choose to do is deny who you are, so is that what all these people are condoning? Self-denial?
If you "don't agree" with homosexuality, then fine. But don't try and say It's a choice, because you really don't know what you are talking about. Does anyone else get really frustrated over this?

[casey_2014]

people who don't accept gays or bisexuals or whatever you are like to think they can control weather or not you'll be straight I guess. They just can't deal with the fact that we aren't all the same. Yes it frustrates me a ton.

[ksdnfkfr]

Probably it comes down to religious people saying being gay
is a sin and that sinning is something people choose to do.

[Ainsleyshea]

well say them being straight is wrong and I like men and your different to me so your wrong that what's wrong some won sat on there fat ass saying no to most thing he don't like

[thelonelyassassin]

Probably it comes down to religious people saying being gay
is a sin and that sinning is something people choose to do.

Actually, as a religious person myself, I believe that people don't choose to sin. They can't help it. They can try to resist temptations, but everyone's ultimately going to screw up some time or another. And regularly. It's inevitable. Christians, Catholics, Muslims, etc are all not immune to sin. Religious people are just as capable of getting homosexual urges as any other person who is unsaved, the same as they are capable of getting any other urges. There's also no 'sin' that's worse than another to religious people, either. Any religious person who says that it's not possible for religious people to sin is lying through their teeth.

I think that people still insist that being gay is a choice because there's lots of people who used to be gay who then turned religious and the urges stopped. Because of this, people think that homosexuality is more of an idea that people give into easily and accept easily, and not something that is not a choice/natural. I could be wrong, though.

Note: I never said that any of the views listed above concerning homosexuality are my own. I believe what the bible says. I'll leave it at that.

[chieko]

This is just my personal opinion, I know people who says they chose to be gay, some are not. But whatever it is, it doesn't change the fact that they're gays. I know every person has different situation so I don't want to debate with others who have different views.

Saying being gay is a choice is like saying being straight is also a choice! There are some things that you can't force even you want it or it's what supposed to be. I'm straight myself and I've always admired other girls. But, i can never bring myself to like them the way i like guys. Sometimes I have the thoughts that having a girlfriend is cool, but even though I decided to be a lesbian I just simply can't be. I don't feel any 'sparks' when I'm with a girl I admire. It's just too different. I can imagine myself being a relationship with a girl but I can't imagine how it feels like.

Also, there are many gays that commit suicide just because they can't be accepted by the society they lived in. Many people in the world can't accept and stand gays. I think if being a gay is a choice they would have taken back their lives and choose to be straight, but it's not that easy, because it's not their choice. I mean, why on Earth would they even choose a complicated choice that will give them difficult situations? Did they want to be judged and looked down by others? Being gay is not a choice.

[fordgtguy]

i got no problem with gays but just dont hit on me or act really gay around me then its all cool. If you hit on me i will hurt you pretty bad just my 2 cents

[Ainsleyshea]

i got no problem with gays but just dont hit on me or act really gay around me then its all cool. If you hit on me i will hurt you pretty bad just my 2 cents

that wrong so if I walk up to u and said your fit u would assault a random stranger coz they said ur fit I would take that as a complement :confused:

[fordgtguy]

that wrong so if I walk up to u and said your fit u would assault a random stranger coz they said ur fit I would take that as a complement :confused:

Thats not considered hitting on me though thats just giving me a compliment. Hitting on me would be saying o your sexy or things like that or saying creepy things you know?

[steellord321]

No idea but considering the crap i and i'm sure many others put up with for years, adds insult to injury to say we chose it.

Thats not considered hitting on me though thats just giving me a compliment. Hitting on me would be saying o your sexy or things like that or saying creepy things you know?

dude thats a compliment too. A girl before the break told me i'm so cute, should i beat her for that?

If you attack someone for anything less than grabbing your ass or stalking you thats extreme over reaction and what does "act really gay" even mean? So a guy and girl make out near u but two guys, u will freak out. Try to not say u have no problem unless really mean it.

Posts merged. Next time, please use the "Edit" or "Multi" button. ~Elysium

[AlexOnToast]

i got no problem with gays but just dont hit on me or act really gay around me then its all cool. If you hit on me i will hurt you pretty bad just my 2 cents

So if a girl hits on me, do i have the right to hit her? Thats a really interesting philosophy.

[fordgtguy]

So if a girl hits on me, do i have the right to hit her? Thats a really interesting philosophy.
Put it this way i would rather not see some gay dudes getting it on or gay dudes hitting on me ive had a gay dude grab me one day sexually and ever since that day ive always been creeped out. Also i have a gay cousin so you can tell i dont really care just do your stuff in your own time and not around me.

[Harry Smith]

Put it this way i would rather not see some gay dudes getting it on or gay dudes hitting on me ive had a gay dude grab me one day sexually and ever since that day ive always been creeped out. Also i have a gay cousin so you can tell i dont really care just do your stuff in your own time and not around me.

One gay guy grabbing you doesn't justify you acting homophobic. Why do we have it do it in our own time? I've seen straight people kissing in the street- I don't attack,berate or threaten them. We have every right to what straight people do within the law weather you like it or not.

[AlexOnToast]

One gay guy grabbing you doesn't justify you acting homophobic. Why do we have it do it in our own time? I've seen straight people kissing in the street- I don't attack,berate or threaten them. We have every right to what straight people do within the law weather you like it or not.

fair point well made, mate :)

[RavleIncarnate]

I'm with Harry Smith on so many levels. Here, people often call me gay as an insult, because I'm a guy who gets along with girls very good, and because I'm a self-proclaimed and proud nerd. But why is that an insult? I dunno, don't ask me. And it is NOT a choice, you can't decide what your sexual orientation is, like you can't decide what your mom's name is. It just can't be decided, it is pre-ordained like what colour your hair is naturally.

[sqishy]

Why do people think it is a choice? That is a very good question, to which there is no justified answer from my point of view. Well, oviously.

I had no choice but to accept it. Soon I'll have no choice but to embrace and live it. And it's one of the few situations where the lack of control is paradoxically liberating and motivating.

[fordgtguy]

fair point well made, mate :)

whtever floats your boat then

[Brice]

(I know that a lot of people disagree with me, so if I offend anyone, sorry. Not my intentions) My belief is that people have the ability to control anything about themselves. We are all born different. Nobody is the same. I think people are born and will grow into the sexuality that's natural to them, but that they can choose to change it if they wish to. I believe that it can be a choice but that its not the same. The world would be so much easier if people stopped trying to change who they are because of things like judgment. Love is a wonderful, beautiful thing that shouldn't be repressed or denied.

[ECSTASY]

I have always had disagreement with guys in my school about this subject Nd religion too . They dont even have a logical prove about what they are saying . I dont know why they think like they are right and the whole people of the world are wrong

[From Chris]

You can't choose it. Fact. What you CAN choose to do is deny who you are, so is that what all these people are condoning? Self-denial?
If you "don't agree" with homosexuality, then fine. But don't try and say It's a choice, because you really don't know what you are talking about. Does anyone else get really frustrated over this?

This is a really big one for me. I hate it when people think being gay is something you can change... Honestly i think the best way to convince someone who is either straight, or against homosexuality is to put them in your position and say, well is it possible for you to turn homosexual? I'm sure depending on some people, you'll get an instant no. Some of the worst ones i think are religious people who think they can use religion to "cure" homosexuality. They might tell you that you'll go to hell or some other rude thing. I think people just don't understand because they don't know what it's like themselves to be judged or been told they can't be themselves. I really hope eventually people learn to accept people for who they are, because they aren't going to change. :)

-From Chris

[billybigfish]

You can't choose it. Fact. What you CAN choose to do is deny who you are, so is that what all these people are condoning? Self-denial?
If you "don't agree" with homosexuality, then fine. But don't try and say It's a choice, because you really don't know what you are talking about. Does anyone else get really frustrated over this?

This is... Just, perfect

[Lovelife090994]

If I offend you too bad. But I will say this. People I think are born as they are be it by personality and or sexuality. But most don't know what sexuality is until puberty. I feel as people we can change anything about ourselves, or that it may change by influence. The different is why as how they changed. Was it pure choice or was another mask, lie, or farce upheld to avoid judgement? Who knows? I just have an idea.

I think some think it's a choice, sexuality, because so many have been homosexual and then found love in God or in another religioun and all of a sudden, no urge or homosexual actions at all. They may not view it as sinful but they changed. Maybe it was a struggle and it caused problems so they left it? Why? What and How? I have no clue. I just know that maybe from people who used to be straight and discover they are not later on or vice-versa it just sees like some choice or change.

[Gigablue]

I think the people claiming it is a choose are either ignorant of the evidence, or chose to ignore the evidence to further their ideology. There are numerous studies that show that genetic and hormonal basis of homosexuality, which are available to anyone who chooses to look.

Furthermore, I don't see why anyone cares if it is a choice or not. Even if it were proven conclusively that homosexuality is a choice (which is extraordinarily unlikely), that wouldn't make homosexuality wrong in any way, and wouldn't justify homophobia and hatred.

[xXEverReadyXx]

I hate when people say that being gay is a choice, because simply, it isnt. You are born that way, and its up to you to choose to accept that or not.
You Can't just choose not to be attracted to the same sex, you cant just turn it off and you can't choose to be attracted to the opposite sex either.

And to the people that do choose to live a lie by trying to change, the only person your lying to is yourself, the only person that you are hurting is yourself and the only person that can make your happy is yourself by accepting who you were born to be.
There is alot of evidence that homosexuality is born not bred.

[Harry_2013]

I have no idea, there is so much evidence around now that concluded that it's not a choice, people just need to look for it. Once this ignorant belief is gone, I think the world will be a much happier place :)

[jmx100]

ok so what I think about people thinking its a lets pick one matter it make me go mad like in school I get people asking why are you gay and im like im not im bi and they are like same thing and well I just want to say people like that don't deserve you attention just tell them you are not putting up with it any more and its all up to you or you could just say im not going to talk to you if you are going to talk to me like an outcast and walk away well what im trying to say is don't let it get to you and fight back or some thing (im not saying beet them up im saying don't let them get you down)




well hope that helped

[The Trendy Wolf]

Asking someone who is gay to not be gay is the equivalent of asking someone to show fake emotions for the rest of their life.

Being gay is not a choice, and people who insist that it is, then they are either incredibly stubborn or just ignorant of evidence. Some people may not see being gay as a good thing, or they are just following the rules of their religious beliefs, so they commonly use whatever evidence they can to support what they believe, and they ignore the evidence supporting what they are fighting.

i got no problem with gays but just dont hit on me or act really gay around me then its all cool. If you hit on me i will hurt you pretty bad just my 2 cents

There is not a problem with a person expressing their emotions, and, in fact, it is unhealthy not to do so. Don't be so intolerant of something that you don't feel comfortable with.

[Luminous]

I agree. If it was a choice, I think I would choose to be straight. Why would I choose the pain of hiding it and the homophobia and everything else?

[Ethan]

Yeah, I don’t understand why some people think that being gay or bi is a choice. I’m more attracted to boys but I like girls too. I didn’t wake up one day and decide that. I wouldn’t be bi if it was just a choice. It’s not easy being different.

[Jakie23]

I have this argument with my friends all the time. They insist that it is a choice, but as a gay person I think I should know more about "gayness" than them

[steellord321]

^i'd probly try to get new friends

[LiamC]

I have absolutely no time for people who say this. Obviously there's opinions and whatever but if it was a choice, do people really think we'd put ourselves through the homophobia that sadly still exists?

Also have no time for people who say we should be gay in the privacy of our own homes or whatever. Straight couples can all but have sex right in the middle of the street and it's fine but gay couples can barely hold hands in the eyes of some people. It just shouldn't matter in this day and age...

Note: I don't even really like PDAs, but it's the principle - it should absolutely be no different whether you're straight or gay.

[Green Arrow]

Put it this way i would rather not see some gay dudes getting it on or gay dudes hitting on me ive had a gay dude grab me one day sexually and ever since that day ive always been creeped out. Also i have a gay cousin so you can tell i dont really care just do your stuff in your own time and not around me.
I'd rather not see people like you posting stuff like this on the forum... you don't see me making threats of violence...
i got no problem with gays but just dont hit on me or act really gay around me then its all cool. If you hit on me i will hurt you pretty bad just my 2 cents

What does "act really gay around me" mean? Please explain..

[AlexOnToast]

I have absolutely no time for people who say this. Obviously there's opinions and whatever but if it was a choice, do people really think we'd put ourselves through the homophobia that sadly still exists?

Also have no time for people who say we should be gay in the privacy of our own homes or whatever. Straight couples can all but have sex right in the middle of the street and it's fine but gay couples can barely hold hands in the eyes of some people. It just shouldn't matter in this day and age...

Note: I don't even really like PDAs, but it's the principle - it should absolutely be no different whether you're straight or gay.

I agree 100%, I have been given dirty looks for just sitting next to and holding hands with a boy in the park....

[Etcetera]

Not judging or bashing or anything, just want to point something out.

There was a girl who was coming to our church. We went on a youth trip and she revealed that she had been bi-sexual for years, but that her new relationship with god turned her around. She's not bi anymore.

I know bi and gay aren't the same thing exactly, but it's still a point.

[darthearth]

I get very frustrated. Isn't the only logical conclusion that it is a choice for them, and they assume everyone is like them? I think so. So apparently some people can choose, like those particular people who have ever said they were able to "change" after finding God or something. I think those people were able to choose to begin with and they ignorantly assume everyone therefore can. Does that make sense?

[Liam Peter]

They believe that because some story book written thousands of years ago told them to, unfourtunatly.

[thesurvivalist]

I think the people who think being gay is a choice are closet bi's- that's the only way they could think it was a choice, because they themselves make the choice to only go for the opposite gender, when they could make the choice to pursue the same, or both genders.

[Hallie]

You can't choose it. Fact. What you CAN choose to do is deny who you are, so is that what all these people are condoning? Self-denial?
If you "don't agree" with homosexuality, then fine. But don't try and say It's a choice, because you really don't know what you are talking about. Does anyone else get really frustrated over this?

Honestly, there is absolutely logical reason why anyone would choose to be gay. And anyway, it's not possible. If someone tells you it's a choice, ask them, "haven't you ever been attracted to someone that you wish you weren't attracted to?" That should get them to shut up, because the truth is NO ONE can just choose who they're attracted to.

But I think a lot of people might mean that the activity is chosen--like having sex with someone of the same sex is chosen. At least that makes some sense in my mind, although just because an act is chosen doesn't make it wrong.

[Danny Phantom]

To answer the OP, it is really simple. It is a lack of education and poor upbringing. No one is born with hate or disdain or with narrowmindedness, they are taught it by those who raise them.

One gay guy grabbing you doesn't justify you acting homophobic. Why do we have it do it in our own time? I've seen straight people kissing in the street- I don't attack,berate or threaten them. We have every right to what straight people do within the law weather you like it or not.

+1! I specifically hate when straight guys think that all gays will hit on them. I'm not the biggest fan of affection and PDA but anyone should be able to do it, regardless of who they are or love.

I'm with Harry Smith on so many levels. Here, people often call me gay as an insult, because I'm a guy who gets along with girls very good, and because I'm a self-proclaimed and proud nerd. But why is that an insult? I dunno, don't ask me. And it is NOT a choice, you can't decide what your sexual orientation is, like you can't decide what your mom's name is. It just can't be decided, it is pre-ordained like what colour your hair is naturally.

As a child, I was "insulted" the same way. I love it when people assume that I am gay because they're always wrong! (I'm asexual.). People use gay as an insult because they think it is an adjective that is a synonym of weak, when in reality I think gay people are some of the most mentally strong people I have seen and encountered in my life. I do think sexuality is a combo of nature and nurture. You are born with a certain sexuality and your environment brings you to realization of it, this is only my opinion of course.

I have absolutely no time for people who say this. Obviously there's opinions and whatever but if it was a choice, do people really think we'd put ourselves through the homophobia that sadly still exists?

Also have no time for people who say we should be gay in the privacy of our own homes or whatever. Straight couples can all but have sex right in the middle of the street and it's fine but gay couples can barely hold hands in the eyes of some people. It just shouldn't matter in this day and age...

Note: I don't even really like PDAs, but it's the principle - it should absolutely be no different whether you're straight or gay.

Yes exactly! I don't think would want to (by choice) be apart of a group that is oppressed by society.

[Zachary G]

yeah it gets my nuts in a grind when i hear people say that being gay is a choice, it only shows their ignorance about not only sexuality, but life in general. it sucks that people cant be more open minded about things and not so closed minded and bigoted.

[xxdrakeTxx]

you are right its impossible to choose sexual orintation and yes it is really frustrating expecially when they have no actual logic to there disagreement

[NickCollins]

You can't choose it. Fact. What you CAN choose to do is deny who you are, so is that what all these people are condoning? Self-denial?
If you "don't agree" with homosexuality, then fine. But don't try and say It's a choice, because you really don't know what you are talking about. Does anyone else get really frustrated over this?

Exactly i'm closeted and i have to hold my tongue to keep from ripping their arm off and beating them to a pulp with it

Who's with me?

[Lovelife090994]

Exactly i'm closeted and i have to hold my tongue to keep from ripping their arm off and beating them to a pulp with it

Who's with me?

That is a little too far don't you think?

[Hermes]

Answering the original question there is a sublety that I don't think has been mention so far and also has a religious connection.

There can be a difference between what you are and what you do. Straight people are straight and can't help being attracted to the opposite sex but there are expectations from society about behaviour. Some people are subject to the expectation that they will refrain from sex until married with the assumption they are able to control their behaviour enough to do it. Once people are married they are expected to remain faithful and again there is the assumption that people can control themselves to do that.

Speaking of UK law here, in the days when gay sex was illegal it was the acts that were illegal, not the attraction or the feelings. The law supposed that people could voluntarily refrain from gay sex and some may have even done so in the same way some people remain faithful to their partners.

I think that legal attitude, and not being clear about the difference between being (feeling) and doing, leads to some people thinking about a choice.

Of course, it goes without saying that people are attracted to who they are attracted to. Any person can try being of the opposite orientation and it won't take long to realise that trying isn't making any difference.

Of course, it is worth revisiting the sexual acts aspect because my own view is that it is none of my business what two (or more) people get up to in the way of sex as long as it is consensual and they don't do it in front of me without asking first. In that respect it does not matter whether the sex is gay or straight, mainstream or kinky. It does not matter is they like it plain and simple, like slapping, toe licking, being tied up, whips and chains, watersports or have trainer or underwear fetishes. There are things in that list that have no attraction for me so fine, I don't have to do them but if you enjoy them go ahead.

Actually, as a religious person myself, I believe that people don't choose to sin. They can't help it. They can try to resist temptations, but everyone's ultimately going to screw up some time or another. And regularly. It's inevitable.

To me this is one of the more troublesome concepts of religion. It seems to me that if man is unable to keep Gods rules this is God's fault because either he did not equip man to be able to follow these rules, or the rules are unrealistic. This is also an important concept because the inevitability of sin is the whole justification for sending Christ to earth to die and the concept of Christ dying for our sins the central tennet of the Christian religion.

[Etcetera]

Leviticus 18:22 (New International Version)
Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.

20:13
If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

1st Corinthians 6:9-10
9) If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads. 10)Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

I would like to point out that these are under the Old Testament law though, which we do not go by now. We go by New Testament. Hence the reason we don't go around killing gays because it's sin.

There's other verses that are used as proof that homosexuality is sin. Yes, the bible says that homosexuality is a sin, and that homosexual people will go to hell unless they repent for their sins and turn to Christ.

[Tayoh]

Leviticus 18:22 (New International Version)
Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.

20:13
If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

1st Corinthians 6:9-10
9) If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads. 10)Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

I would like to point out that these are under the Old Testament law though, which we do not go by now. We go by New Testament. Hence the reason we don't go around killing gays because it's sin.

There's other verses that are used as proof that homosexuality is sin. Yes, the bible says that homosexuality is a sin, and that homosexual people will go to hell unless they repent for their sins and turn to Christ.

accept jesus inside of u and u will b saved
- -
Anyways, I agree that it's not a choice, but really no matter what evidence you provide people will always deny it if they were brought up that way.

[Seth Green]

They think it's a choice because they are either Uninformed or Stupid.

[Lovelife090994]

Leviticus 18:22 (New International Version)
Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.

20:13
If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

1st Corinthians 6:9-10
9) If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads. 10)Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

I would like to point out that these are under the Old Testament law though, which we do not go by now. We go by New Testament. Hence the reason we don't go around killing gays because it's sin.

There's other verses that are used as proof that homosexuality is sin. Yes, the bible says that homosexuality is a sin, and that homosexual people will go to hell unless they repent for their sins and turn to Christ.

These are true but many use them against homosexual and bisexual Christians, and others use them to point out a flaw in belief of sin. Myself as a Christian and a bisexual one at that I understand very well what is said, but I refuse to believe that all involved in anything other heterosexuality are damned.