Extreme586
January 6th, 2014, 09:29 PM
There was this senior meeting today and i looked for my best friend to go and sit by. My only friend anymore really. I went and sat by him and they started the presentation on college and blah blah, most of us already know what they told us.
Anyways a while after sitting by him and his girlfriend, I start talking to him and asking him where he's going to college and what not. When the guy asks us to raise our hands for the one I was going to, there weren't very many people who did and we both kind of laughed about it. I said, "hey, well, at least i will get to go somewhere nobody knows me." He then told me that it didn't matter and they would all find out how awkward I was soon anyways. "Commoooon you know its true, your really awkward."
I admitted it and said ya and was putting a fake smile on my face because we were both laughing a few seconds ago. I know he didn't intend for it to hurt me but it really did. I keep telling myself its good that I finally admitted it in front of someone and that I needed the reality check so I could come out of my little world but honestly, it just stung.
It has been one of my deepest fears. After all getting a second chance like this won't come by again for another four years and this is definitely my last social chance of making good friends. I've been looking at it as a good thing all this time but now...I feel like I will probably just mess it up and be super awkward and treat everyone strangely because of my insecurities.
I just don't know what to do right now. I feel so hopeless.
Anyways a while after sitting by him and his girlfriend, I start talking to him and asking him where he's going to college and what not. When the guy asks us to raise our hands for the one I was going to, there weren't very many people who did and we both kind of laughed about it. I said, "hey, well, at least i will get to go somewhere nobody knows me." He then told me that it didn't matter and they would all find out how awkward I was soon anyways. "Commoooon you know its true, your really awkward."
I admitted it and said ya and was putting a fake smile on my face because we were both laughing a few seconds ago. I know he didn't intend for it to hurt me but it really did. I keep telling myself its good that I finally admitted it in front of someone and that I needed the reality check so I could come out of my little world but honestly, it just stung.
It has been one of my deepest fears. After all getting a second chance like this won't come by again for another four years and this is definitely my last social chance of making good friends. I've been looking at it as a good thing all this time but now...I feel like I will probably just mess it up and be super awkward and treat everyone strangely because of my insecurities.
I just don't know what to do right now. I feel so hopeless.