Feelings For A New Best Friend

[Ecxel]

I haven't used my account in almost a year, but recently I've been having feelings for my friend. We were introduced a couple of months ago and have been best friends since, we talk with hearts and talk all day and idek how he feels about me. He has a girlfriend and I'm single and questioning pansexuality which I was only told about a couple of weeks back.

So, I stayed at his house after only knowing him for a couple of weeks and we spent the whole night talking until we fell asleep on eachother on his bed, and then he stayed at my house a few days ago. We spent most of the night talking and at one point he lay on my chest and we just watched YouTube. We fell asleep on my bed and woke up a few hours later, he didn't want to get up so he got under the covers and pressed his back up against my front and fell asleep, my arm across his chest, he woke up rolled over and then snuggled into my chest and slept for another hour.

I can't stop thinking about him, but I don't know if he sees me as anything more than a friend or even if he is interested in anything other than girls. I don't know what to do, I don't want to ruin our friendship by saying something that might scare him away but I don't know if he's just like this with everyone. He doesn't treat girls as good as he could but he's not a bad person, he's the nicest and kindest guy I know and I don't think he's 100% okay with homosexuality :/ Help.

[Brown13]

I mean if he is falling asleep with you and snuggling with you then most likely he has feelings for you too. You could straight up ask him but i dont know how that would go. You could also try hinting toward him that you like him more by hugs and/or jokes just to see how he reacts. I hope that helps :)

[Ecxel]

I mentioned to him that we were late getting up because we ended up cuddling and he said that he does "weird sh!t" then he's tired, and I hug him anyway because I'm just that kind of guy, even kissed him once but yeah, thanks :) I feel like some sort of lovesick school girl, cuddling a blanket because it smells like him XD

[joejoe]

Weird **** when he's tired? Come on... if he was straight, he wouldn't be cuddling with you even if he's tired. I think you have a shot at this. If you guys are really good friends, then you could just straight up ask him.. if you feel comfortable. Good Luck! :)

[Ecxel]

He has a girlfriend, could have most girls if he wanted and I really don't think I do have a shot. We were talking about the time I met his friends, when I spent the night with him and he told me he had had to point out to one of his friends that I wasn't gay followed by him saying "I know you're not gay bro" he also made jokes about a mutual friend of us both who possibly likes him (who is also a guy)

[Ecxel]

Anyone else? I could really use other opinion on this :/ Has anyone else had an experience like this if so what did you do?

[Living For Love]

Weird **** when he's tired? Come on... if he was straight, he wouldn't be cuddling with you even if he's tired. I think you have a shot at this. If you guys are really good friends, then you could just straight up ask him.. if you feel comfortable. Good Luck! :)

I totally agree with this. "Weird s***" when he's tired? Really? Couldn't he have made up a better excuse? All that spooning and cuddling definitely means something. It doesn't mean he's gay, though, but he is interested in you in a certain point, and I think you have a chance here, small, but it's a chance. Don't tell him you're gay, at least for now. Just keep doing these stuff with him whenever you have the opportunity. It's not much use trying to figure out his opinion on homosexuality because he can just lie to you, but I'd suggest you start giving him subtle hints that you're comfortable around him, especially when you're hugging and cuddling.

The only problem I see here is his girlfriend. If you think he's just some kind of player with girls, then it's probably just a dead end relationship, and it might end soon.

[Ecxel]

I am going to be giving hints, only problem being that we don't see eachother in private that often, and tend to go out in a group of 5 or 10 other people to gigs etc, and when were I a group situation he just acts normally around me. His current girlfriend is someone he's been crazy about for ages, and the reason his other relationships ended badly so I'm sure it'll be a long term thing

[Living For Love]

I am going to be giving hints, only problem being that we don't see eachother in private that often, and tend to go out in a group of 5 or 10 other people to gigs etc, and when were I a group situation he just acts normally around me. His current girlfriend is someone he's been crazy about for ages, and the reason his other relationships ended badly so I'm sure it'll be a long term thing

That makes me think even more that he might be really into you. He acts differently around you when you two are alone because he knows you don't mind, and it's good if you assure that to him. He doesn't act too "flirty" when you're with other people because he's afraid of what they might tell about it. He doesn't want to act "gayish" around other people, even though he might not be 100% straight. I don't now if I'm drawing too much conclusions, but it just seems suspicious to me.

[Ecxel]

Thanks, I see what you mean about him acting differently around me and hopefully that does mean something. I do seem to get a different side if him when were alone but I haven't really thought much of it until now.

[joejoe]

I wouldn't let this opportunity just pass..... I think you should continue doing "things" with him like cuddling, and maybe kiss him one time.... If he kisses back, then you know you've got him! Haha it's up to you.

[Extreme586]

I haven't used my account in almost a year, but recently I've been having feelings for my friend. We were introduced a couple of months ago and have been best friends since, we talk with hearts and talk all day and idek how he feels about me. He has a girlfriend and I'm single and questioning pansexuality which I was only told about a couple of weeks back.

So, I stayed at his house after only knowing him for a couple of weeks and we spent the whole night talking until we fell asleep on eachother on his bed, and then he stayed at my house a few days ago. We spent most of the night talking and at one point he lay on my chest and we just watched YouTube. We fell asleep on my bed and woke up a few hours later, he didn't want to get up so he got under the covers and pressed his back up against my front and fell asleep, my arm across his chest, he woke up rolled over and then snuggled into my chest and slept for another hour.

I can't stop thinking about him, but I don't know if he sees me as anything more than a friend or even if he is interested in anything other than girls. I don't know what to do, I don't want to ruin our friendship by saying something that might scare him away but I don't know if he's just like this with everyone. He doesn't treat girls as good as he could but he's not a bad person, he's the nicest and kindest guy I know and I don't think he's 100% okay with homosexuality :/ Help.

Let me start off by saying this is really cute! I think the fact that he cuddled with you several times in one particular night and even changed positions to keep cuddling with shows how he might have feelings for you. I would suggest you keep doing these things with him. Take every opportunity you can to cuddle with him, and just be with him.

Another thing you should be careful of is how you talk about gays or homosexuality in general around him. If he does have feelings for you, then he probably would prefer to keep it a secret. Being gay isn't easy and it's generally misunderstood by straight people who can't really understand what it's like. I'm sure based on his experience and yours, neither of you would want your friends to know your sexuality, otherwise you probably would have told them. I think he likes you but he probably doesn't want to be seen as gay. You know how straight guys joke around, it's gay this, gay that, not to mention they will treat you different knowing you like guys. It truly is a difficult and complicated thing to deal with. So if he really does have feelings fore you it is understandable why he wouldn't say anything. You said yourself that he said he "knew you weren't gay" when he was sticking up for you when he and a friend were talking about you.

If he doesn't think your gay and is saying he knows you aren't, why would he admit feelings for you unless he thought you liked him as much as you really do. I know you don't want to mess things up, that's why I'm going to give you this suggestion.

Keep trying to get him to spend time with you alone as much as possible. Whether it's inviting him to your house, inviting him to go places with just you, etc. Then keep doing the things you guys have always done, cuddling, staying up late talking, maybe even bring up that you are completely fine with gays if the talk drifts into that so he knows he has nothing to fear from you.

Then, when you feel the time is right and things are progressing well. Tell him how you feel and that you like him. Don't say your gay or a homo or any wording like that. Specifically tell him about your feelings for him and that you like him and enjoy being with him.

There is the issue of the girlfriend. If he really does like you though, then she is probably a cover up or something because he doesn't want to be seen as gay.

Only you can truly know the best way to go about this. From what I can tell and you have told us, it seems he has feelings for you, just keep at them and time will tell. Go with what your heart is telling you, only you can make the right judgement on whether or not it is the right time to tell him. I don't want to mislead you, as I was recently looking at every little detail of a guy I liked that had to do with me. I woke up and faced reality but nothing like cuddling happened in my case. Good luck man, I hope the best for you!

[ksdnfkfr]

i say just keep nurturing your relationship. I don't like the idea of strategies along the lines of how can i make him do this or that type thing. right now it looks like everything is really pure and natural so keep it that way.
And it could be maybe he's just a cuddler. I don't think so but maybe.
My cousin (boy my age) and i sleep together sometimes and we cuddle up when it is cold, but there is zero anything sexual between us.
Now when I'm with my best friend... that's a different story :D

[Santiago1618]

I think you should wait a little to see if we does something or give you some clues of what he really wants.

[Amsey]

she thats how me and my friends who are girls act, i dont think a striaght boy would do those things so i think he likes you, maybe just try touching him me more (like his hand, arm back thing like that) also just ask him what his views on gay men are, if he dosent like it just so you support gay rights as a back up :)