omg plz help

[storms4real]

It would be nice if this post were deleted =)

[Serenity]

Boys Puberty :arrow: Teen Sexuality

[The Batman]

If your gay then eventually you'll have to accept it but it sounds to me that your bi with more of an attraction to guys don't try and label yourself at all just be you and like who ever turns you on rather it be a boy or girl. You'll never be happy if your not comfortable with yourself so don't try and be what the world wants you to be you just do you

[byee]

I'm hardly any expert, but I'm not hearing anything here that would suggest you're gay. (you might want to find the very excellent sticky by our 'Serenity' on "Am I Gay?" which explains the need for all '3A's', attraction, arousal, and attachment).

What you seem to be aroused by are typically male (and stereotypically male) things, like muscles, power, athletics, and the like. Those things are typically arousing, it's the things that are most associated with being a guy. You're a guy, too, so seeing that in others reminds you of that part of yourself (or maybe the part you'd like to have). So, you're identifying with it, the part about 'guyness', having muscles, being strong, etc. I don't think that is the same as being gay.

Not being turned on by girls at 13 isn't that odd, either. Eventhough you've been in puberty for 3 years, the effects of it are probably recent. And it takes time to get used to it, to get some experience not only with all those new changes, but also to get some experience with girls, too. Not getting turned on by girls when you haven't had actual experience with them doesn't really sound that odd. You might just be someone who needs actual 'hands on' (!!) experience before getting aroused, your imagination might not be enough. So, having that experience with yourself being a guy makes it easier for you to get aroused by the thoughts and fantasies of other guys, you can relate better to it.

[Josh.R]

Im in the same situation .. but im putting it down to curiosity.

[rct51]

I feel the same aswell, thanks iamsam, that helped ALOT

[byee]

I feel the same aswell, thanks iamsam, that helped ALOT

Awwww>>>>>>>>another satisfied customer, my day is complete!

So much worry over things that are essentially normal. Glad i could clarify this a bit for you and put your mind at ease!

[storms4real]

ummm... you helped the other person... not really me... My problem was really was just.... how can you accept being...well bi or gay? I personally can't. I'd rather be dead then be either of those two. I WANT TO BE STRAIGHT... Many of you have said that being gay is both physically and emotionally attracted to men. I am physically. but not emotionally. What am I then? Don't tell me I'm bi because I bieleve every bi person is really gay, just they don't want to admit it...

I really don't see a future with me... if i am gay... it would ruin my life.

[NextToNormal]

ummm... you helped the other person... not really me... My problem was really was just.... how can you accept being...well bi or gay? I personally can't. I'd rather be dead then be either of those two. I WANT TO BE STRAIGHT... Many of you have said that being gay is both physically and emotionally attracted to men. I am physically. but not emotionally. What am I then? Don't tell me I'm bi because I bieleve every bi person is really gay, just they don't want to admit it...

I really don't see a future with me... if i am gay... it would ruin my life.

you dont automatically accept being bi or gay...it comes with time. many people go through denial because thats not who they want to be. but who you want to be is not always what you get. you live with it and you learn that that is who you are and you begin to embrace who you are.

if being with guys is what makes you happy, you shouldnt try to fight it. the more you fight it, the more it seems that that is what you do want. if you let things happen the way they want to happen, you will begin to see what you do want and what truly makes you happy. just by saying you want something, doesnt mean you will get it right away. everything takes time and patience.

eventually, when your hormones straighten out and everything is in perfect harmony, you will see what it is you want and who you want to be. remember...your sexuality does not define who you are. only you can do that. letting your sexuality define you is what will ruin your life...being attracted to men is not going to do that.

hope this helped...at least somewhat.

[The Entertainer]

storms4real,

Im not an expert on this, far from it, but your post sounded like a cry for help, so here's my thoughts. With your post, there are several things I thought of:

If you are gay or bi (from reading your account I dont think you are either, but Ill presume that Im wrong for the time being) then you are, at some stage in your life, going to have to do the tricky and uncomfortable thing of accepting it. Im putting it really bluntly here, so it might sound a little crass.

This will take time, you cant simply say "right Im bi, thats it" as it would be almost impossible to do. No-one that I know has easily come to terms with being either gay or bi, and its very much an emotional thing to get sorted. It can take years, if Im being honest. At 13, I still think its a little early. Once again, Im pretty sure you arent gay (I can really relate to your post, though Im a few years older, and Ive been through what you have!)

Youve stressed that you want to be straight, which most people your age, when going through the motions like this, want as well. But youve almost answered your own question because you have said that you are only physically attracted to boys your age. That, Im afraid, does not make you gay. What are you then? Well, I think your straight, Im pretty sure of that. Youre physically attracted to things that most boys, in general, find a turn on as well: muscles, penises, other boys masturbating.

Im going to point the finger of blame at our friend testostrone, which does many things, above all COMPLETELY messes your brain up. At your age, youll be producing mega amounts of the stuff, and its no suprise therefore that you are getting these thoughts, which, according to you, seem a little odd (considering you dont want to be gay).

As with your male-focussed masturbation, dont worry. Even I (being straight) do it more times than not, and there are a few reasons for this. First, that you can relate to the experience better, or second, that this is something that turns you on quickly, for example. I wouldnt worry about it, as once girls make themselves more known to you, that will quickly be the main turn-on!

If, by the off-chance, you were gay or bisexual, the LAST thing you should do is let it ruin your life. Wow, youve joined a group where 10% of the population are, so why commit suicide over it? 10% is about the same as the number of left handers there are in the world, which is a lot, and no doubt you have seen MANY left handers, but you havent been aware of seeing gay people. They do exist, and they are perfectly normal! What Im saying is, dont be afraid of what it might do to you. If you let it bother you, it will only get you down. If you dont, then that shows great character.

I hope Ive been of some help.

[The Batman]

ummm... you helped the other person... not really me... My problem was really was just.... how can you accept being...well bi or gay? I personally can't. I'd rather be dead then be either of those two. I WANT TO BE STRAIGHT... Many of you have said that being gay is both physically and emotionally attracted to men. I am physically. but not emotionally. What am I then? Don't tell me I'm bi because I bieleve every bi person is really gay, just they don't want to admit it...

I really don't see a future with me... if i am gay... it would ruin my life.

Why do you think being gay or bi would ruin your life? The way your speaking its as if someone in your life has programmed being gay a bad thing and if you continue to think this way it will destroy especially right now during your confusion. I think the best thing for you to do right now is to just sit down and really think about your life and relationships. If your gay and your not going to admit it to yourself and try to get into a relationship with a woman then your going to be even less happy trying to be something your not.

[storms4real]

Wow you all have put some great thoughts in my head. Thank you so much for your help everyone. You all had different theorys; it will help me cope with what may or will come.

I do have to say, the reason I think I'm freaking out right now is because all of my friends hate gays or bisexuals. I've grown up in a community where being gay is like being retarded. I think I'm just in a stage where I will have to get through to see who I really am; not what I am now...

I also have maybe another theory (if it's possable...) 75% of all my friends are girls, so maybe their friend estrogen is transfering into me...??? so maybe thats why I'm getting impulses?? I really don't know. Like you all said, Im 13, too young to be sure, and maybe are a little impulsive...

Thanks again!

storms4real

[The Batman]

I highly doubt that their estrogen is transferring into you it could be that you find companionship in girls a lot easier than boys

[The Entertainer]

lol, perhaps that isnt the reason, but who knows?
If your community doesnt like gays, in 20 years, society will have changed, and so will attitudes to something that is completely normal. Good to see youre happier!

[byee]

ummm... you helped the other person... not really me... My problem was really was just.... how can you accept being...well bi or gay? I personally can't. I'd rather be dead then be either of those two. I WANT TO BE STRAIGHT... Many of you have said that being gay is both physically and emotionally attracted to men. I am physically. but not emotionally. What am I then? Don't tell me I'm bi because I bieleve every bi person is really gay, just they don't want to admit it...

I really don't see a future with me... if i am gay... it would ruin my life.


I'm sorry my post didn't help. I aim to please, so I'll try again.

First, what exactly is it about yourself at 13 that convinces you that you are, in fact, gay? I thought my response was fairly thoughtful, but apparently it didn't satisfy whatever it ws you were asking. What makes you so sure you're gay?