Sudds3
January 4th, 2014, 03:04 AM
I know this is a long post but please take the time to read it, its taken me longer to write than it will for you to read. Thanks!
I'm kind of completely lost on what to do next but here is some background info Im a 15 year old sophomore in an all guys private high school.
So freshman year is kind of a time to settle in to a very different environment than i was used to. Everyone kind of scrambles for friends and you just kind of take who you can get, until sophomore year that is. Then a lot of people go through this thing called the sophomore switch where people realize that maybe they aren't as good of friends with the group they found as they thought they were and they leave their friend group. Well this basically happened to me.
Now for the more detailed story:
One of my friends, vince, has always been a player and at every party we went to, the only thing on his mind was to hook up with some girl. All the other guys in the group looked up to him and thought he was so cool. I was kind of annoyed by what he did. Most of the time he would end up going somewhere alone with a girl and then come back an hour later to tell us his stories of what happened. It was always with female friends of mine that i trust deeply and can talk openly with so naturally i would go and talk to them to see what really happened. He always hyped up the story dramatically, taking a quick kiss and turning it into him getting to moter boat the girl. Well over the summer we didn't really hang out that much since i went over seas for vacation for a month. But all throughout summer i got texts and PMs from girls i knew telling me that he was being very creepy and they were actually scared of him. At times they actually feared he would force them into doing things, to put it into lighter terms. He never took no for an answer and always used creepy lines to try and seduce them. Then one girl, anne, texted me saying she really liked him, but didn't know how to ask him out. I gave her some advice and told her that she she should ask him out. She texts me back a few days later with some pretty disturbing news. She asked him out, but he said he only would go out with her if she gave him a blow job. He really liked him and was thinking about doing it but i told her not to because he obviously doesn't like her for who she is and doesn't deserve to go on a date with her.
School started again with no more major problems and the homecoming football game came around. We all went. To my surprise i saw anne there, with her best friend who is vince's ex girlfriend (they went out for 2 weeks...) and she was freaking out because she saw vince at the game. Her best friend overheard her freaking out about vince and asked me what was going on between them. I told her what happened telling her not to freak out and not to tell anyone. She promised. Well my mistake! At the end of the game i was getting a ride home from my friend john, also in my friend group at the time, and he asked me if i know that anne's best friend found out about her and vince. I said yeah, and that i told her, thinking that she wouldn't freak out. Turns out she went over to vince and anne when they were near each other and screamed at both of them.
Things started to get kind of rocky in the group.
Everyone in the friend group sat at one lunch table every day. But after the game i thought it would be a good idea to eat with other friends at other tables. It only made things worse. My friend group thought i was ditching them and got a little mad, so i just went back to eating lunch with them. Then a few days later, in a group chat that the group created, we were making plans to see a movie and vince said he couldn't go and i made a joke saying that it was because there was no one there to hook up with, but then other people responded saying that that was a bad joke and other things were said. I started to get angry at vince for some reason and just yelled at vince for being a woman abuser. They kicked me from the group chat and my friend john texted me saying that he was sorry they kicked me but they had to do it because i was getting too heated. I told him i didn't care. He said that everyone wanted to unfriend me but hew as the only one who wanted to give me another chance. Then continued to say that i was the biggest asshole he had ever met and that he didn't want to be friends with me.
And i was officially out of the friend group.
It took about a month but my friend David came up to me and said it was stupid to unfriend me and he must wanted to be friends again, john and i talk sometimes if we see each other at parties and have no one else to talk to, and jack has said probably 20 words to me total. Justin hasn't talked to me since it all happened and the same with vince. And my friend max has stayed with me through the whole thing. By the way, this happened almost 5 months ago.
Currently i have other friends but I'm just sad that my friendship with some of the guys had to end over such a stupid argument. Vince still creepily tries to hook up with girls. I see them at parties occasionally and i miss talking to them since i actually considered them really close friends. Ive talked to many people about this that i trust and they all think that i did the right thing when it came to telling anne's best friend (sorry to leave her nameless but her name is kind of tricky) and that all of the guys are acting like 6th grade girls on their periods (believe it or not but I've had that exact phrase said to me 3 times by 3 different people). I don't feel like i did the right think and i don't think i did the right thing because it ended in ruining many friendships. I don't know why everyone in the group cares so much that i told anne's friend about it so much that they all haven't talked to me in 5 months but i guess it just kind of hit home for them.
Any advice would be incredible! Thanks for reading! Happy new year!
I'm kind of completely lost on what to do next but here is some background info Im a 15 year old sophomore in an all guys private high school.
So freshman year is kind of a time to settle in to a very different environment than i was used to. Everyone kind of scrambles for friends and you just kind of take who you can get, until sophomore year that is. Then a lot of people go through this thing called the sophomore switch where people realize that maybe they aren't as good of friends with the group they found as they thought they were and they leave their friend group. Well this basically happened to me.
Now for the more detailed story:
One of my friends, vince, has always been a player and at every party we went to, the only thing on his mind was to hook up with some girl. All the other guys in the group looked up to him and thought he was so cool. I was kind of annoyed by what he did. Most of the time he would end up going somewhere alone with a girl and then come back an hour later to tell us his stories of what happened. It was always with female friends of mine that i trust deeply and can talk openly with so naturally i would go and talk to them to see what really happened. He always hyped up the story dramatically, taking a quick kiss and turning it into him getting to moter boat the girl. Well over the summer we didn't really hang out that much since i went over seas for vacation for a month. But all throughout summer i got texts and PMs from girls i knew telling me that he was being very creepy and they were actually scared of him. At times they actually feared he would force them into doing things, to put it into lighter terms. He never took no for an answer and always used creepy lines to try and seduce them. Then one girl, anne, texted me saying she really liked him, but didn't know how to ask him out. I gave her some advice and told her that she she should ask him out. She texts me back a few days later with some pretty disturbing news. She asked him out, but he said he only would go out with her if she gave him a blow job. He really liked him and was thinking about doing it but i told her not to because he obviously doesn't like her for who she is and doesn't deserve to go on a date with her.
School started again with no more major problems and the homecoming football game came around. We all went. To my surprise i saw anne there, with her best friend who is vince's ex girlfriend (they went out for 2 weeks...) and she was freaking out because she saw vince at the game. Her best friend overheard her freaking out about vince and asked me what was going on between them. I told her what happened telling her not to freak out and not to tell anyone. She promised. Well my mistake! At the end of the game i was getting a ride home from my friend john, also in my friend group at the time, and he asked me if i know that anne's best friend found out about her and vince. I said yeah, and that i told her, thinking that she wouldn't freak out. Turns out she went over to vince and anne when they were near each other and screamed at both of them.
Things started to get kind of rocky in the group.
Everyone in the friend group sat at one lunch table every day. But after the game i thought it would be a good idea to eat with other friends at other tables. It only made things worse. My friend group thought i was ditching them and got a little mad, so i just went back to eating lunch with them. Then a few days later, in a group chat that the group created, we were making plans to see a movie and vince said he couldn't go and i made a joke saying that it was because there was no one there to hook up with, but then other people responded saying that that was a bad joke and other things were said. I started to get angry at vince for some reason and just yelled at vince for being a woman abuser. They kicked me from the group chat and my friend john texted me saying that he was sorry they kicked me but they had to do it because i was getting too heated. I told him i didn't care. He said that everyone wanted to unfriend me but hew as the only one who wanted to give me another chance. Then continued to say that i was the biggest asshole he had ever met and that he didn't want to be friends with me.
And i was officially out of the friend group.
It took about a month but my friend David came up to me and said it was stupid to unfriend me and he must wanted to be friends again, john and i talk sometimes if we see each other at parties and have no one else to talk to, and jack has said probably 20 words to me total. Justin hasn't talked to me since it all happened and the same with vince. And my friend max has stayed with me through the whole thing. By the way, this happened almost 5 months ago.
Currently i have other friends but I'm just sad that my friendship with some of the guys had to end over such a stupid argument. Vince still creepily tries to hook up with girls. I see them at parties occasionally and i miss talking to them since i actually considered them really close friends. Ive talked to many people about this that i trust and they all think that i did the right thing when it came to telling anne's best friend (sorry to leave her nameless but her name is kind of tricky) and that all of the guys are acting like 6th grade girls on their periods (believe it or not but I've had that exact phrase said to me 3 times by 3 different people). I don't feel like i did the right think and i don't think i did the right thing because it ended in ruining many friendships. I don't know why everyone in the group cares so much that i told anne's friend about it so much that they all haven't talked to me in 5 months but i guess it just kind of hit home for them.
Any advice would be incredible! Thanks for reading! Happy new year!