VictoriaGotaSecret
January 2nd, 2014, 12:44 PM
First, let me say they aren't crazy.
Yesterday a friend of mine was trying to talk me out of doing a really hard drug because "I have no experience" and because I said I don't care, I want to do it anyway, she cut. She sent me the picture of her fresh cut thigh and everything. Then last week I was having a panic attack so I needed to go calm myself(usually by cutting) and I told her I needed to go so I could calm myself. Because she found out I was cutting she took a bunch of pills with the intent of overdosing. Luckliy she ended up throwing them up but that doesn't matter! She took them because of me. If it weren't for me none of this would happen. If it weren't for me there wouldn't be people dying. Another friend a few months ago attempted suicide because of being bullied but she needed someone to talk to, SHE FUCKING ASKED ME 20 TIMES OVER FACEBOOK TO ANSWER HER, but I didn't I stupidly wasn't there. She says that I helped talk her out of suicide in May too, I did not, if I talked her out of it how come she was in the hospital for a week with both of her arms wrapped up because she cut them open enough to have to get put under for surgery. The same thing happened in August. I wasn't there for her.
If it wasn't for me these people and everyone else would be better off. I can't do this anymore. I think of all the ways I could do it but I am afraid to fail for the fifth time in three months. I want to die and I want everyone to have peace knowing that I am gone. I want everyone to be able to stop putting themselves through this shit because of me. I WANT IT ALL TO STOP. This isn't a suicide note but I don't know what to fucking do anymore.
Yesterday a friend of mine was trying to talk me out of doing a really hard drug because "I have no experience" and because I said I don't care, I want to do it anyway, she cut. She sent me the picture of her fresh cut thigh and everything. Then last week I was having a panic attack so I needed to go calm myself(usually by cutting) and I told her I needed to go so I could calm myself. Because she found out I was cutting she took a bunch of pills with the intent of overdosing. Luckliy she ended up throwing them up but that doesn't matter! She took them because of me. If it weren't for me none of this would happen. If it weren't for me there wouldn't be people dying. Another friend a few months ago attempted suicide because of being bullied but she needed someone to talk to, SHE FUCKING ASKED ME 20 TIMES OVER FACEBOOK TO ANSWER HER, but I didn't I stupidly wasn't there. She says that I helped talk her out of suicide in May too, I did not, if I talked her out of it how come she was in the hospital for a week with both of her arms wrapped up because she cut them open enough to have to get put under for surgery. The same thing happened in August. I wasn't there for her.
If it wasn't for me these people and everyone else would be better off. I can't do this anymore. I think of all the ways I could do it but I am afraid to fail for the fifth time in three months. I want to die and I want everyone to have peace knowing that I am gone. I want everyone to be able to stop putting themselves through this shit because of me. I WANT IT ALL TO STOP. This isn't a suicide note but I don't know what to fucking do anymore.