Transferring love

[Wheatley]

Hey,

I forget who said it now but basically we create "versions" of other people in our head and judge them based on this idea of them as opposed to who they actually are.

If this is true, then love is just an extremely positive association with another person and to activate it you have to truly believe that you are involved with that person (ie seeing them or talking to them). Ergo, you are not in love with that person, you are in love with your own representation of that person.

That being said, it should be possible to love anyone as long as you can transfer that positive association.

In a practical situation, if you are madly in love with someone and you know it can never work out (say, you are gay but the other guy is straight, or if they just really don't love you) would it be possible to just transfer that strong feeling onto someone else instead?

If so, how would you go about doing such a thing?

Thanks

[Living For Love]

I kind of understand what you say, but don't try to make it so logical. Love is an emotion, hard to explain, it's something that cannot be controlled by some kind of psychological assumption. In the case you stated, you just need to make it clear in your mind that you can't date a certain person and, instead, you can date others, and you should focus on those.

[carissaurus]

As the above poster said, your post is a very "logical" standpoint on love. Love is an emotion. It has more to do with the heart, so to speak, than the mind.

[itsgee]

Anything can be explained by science, except love. Imo.

[Blood]

Hey,

I forget who said it now but basically we create "versions" of other people in our head and judge them based on this idea of them as opposed to who they actually are.

If this is true, then love is just an extremely positive association with another person and to activate it you have to truly believe that you are involved with that person (ie seeing them or talking to them). Ergo, you are not in love with that person, you are in love with your own representation of that person.

That being said, it should be possible to love anyone as long as you can transfer that positive association.

In a practical situation, if you are madly in love with someone and you know it can never work out (say, you are gay but the other guy is straight, or if they just really don't love you) would it be possible to just transfer that strong feeling onto someone else instead?

If so, how would you go about doing such a thing?

Thanks

Everyone is saying that you shouldn't be trying to make it so logical, but I'm a really logical and realistic person so I can understand where you're coming from.
However, love isn't just a positive association with a person. Love is an emotional and physical attraction too, so you have to take these things into account.

And yeah, it's perfectly possible to "transfer" your "love" onto someone else when you realize you can't have the person you want. But I'm not sure that's a really healthy idea, because you may just be rushing into a relationship because you want/need something to love. Our feelings are strong and we can get hurt easily, and we can hurt others easily, so before you get into a relationship just to get your mind off of another person, you should probably realize that's not the best idea.