My sister has been cutting and I didn't know about it..

[Cognizant]

I apologize if this is in the wrong section. Late last night, I indirectly found out that she's really depressed and that she has been cutting really, really deep not just at home, but at school. I didn't find out from her, I found out from a family friend. Turns out pretty much everyone knew about it except for me, my 11 year old sister, and my mom...

I'm mortified for a few reasons:
1) She always seemed fine to me and it bothers the hell out of me that she never told me.
2) It bothers me that I was too stupid and oblivious to notice that she was still upset. I know that she suffered depression back in 2012, but I thought she was getting better. I feel like a total idiot for not noticing the sly key points that showed she was still upset.
3) I'm super upset about how my mom doesn't know any of this. I want to let her know but I know that's the worst possible thing I can do. She just isn't as connected to us as she was before my parents split...
4) The way she's cutting.......it's in the direction/area that you cut when you're trying to bleed yourself to death. We live right next to railroad tracks and now I'm extremely worried that she might just snap and kill herself....

I don't know what to do. My dad knows this, but he can't/doesn't really do anything about it. I'm her bigger brother. I'm supposed to fight for her, and I don't want her to loose her battle. But every time I try to talk about it to her she tells me to shut up and I feel like a horrible brother....

[Seemyheart]

I apologize if this is in the wrong section. Late last night, I indirectly found out that she's really depressed and that she has been cutting really, really deep not just at home, but at school. I didn't find out from her, I found out from a family friend. Turns out pretty much everyone knew about it except for me, my 11 year old sister, and my mom...

I'm mortified for a few reasons:
1) She always seemed fine to me and it bothers the hell out of me that she never told me.
2) It bothers me that I was too stupid and oblivious to notice that she was still upset. I know that she suffered depression back in 2012, but I thought she was getting better. I feel like a total idiot for not noticing the sly key points that showed she was still upset.
3) I'm super upset about how my mom doesn't know any of this. I want to let her know but I know that's the worst possible thing I can do. She just isn't as connected to us as she was before my parents split...
4) The way she's cutting.......it's in the direction/area that you cut when you're trying to bleed yourself to death. We live right next to railroad tracks and now I'm extremely worried that she might just snap and kill herself....

I don't know what to do. My dad knows this, but he can't/doesn't really do anything about it. I'm her bigger brother. I'm supposed to fight for her, and I don't want her to loose her battle. But every time I try to talk about it to her she tells me to shut up and I feel like a horrible brother....

1) she may not have known how to tell you, or she could have been scared to tell you, I know I was really scared to tell my family when I was in a dark period of my life
2) you aren't stupid or oblivious, you just didn't know, and that IS okay
3) your mom could probably get her some help, even if she isn't as connected anymore, a mother's love knows no boundaries
4) sometimes cutting is a cry for help, and if you want to talk to her about it, you should tell her, and make her listen, get it through her head that you're worried and scared. you're not a horrible brother, trust me. I'd give anything to have a brother who was as caring as you are for your sister.

I hope this helps.

[Living For Love]

You're not a horrible brother. Most people who self-harm want to keep it a secret. Let her know that you care about her and that whenever she needs something she can count on you. Sometimes I talk to my older brother about things that are upsetting me, and he listens, he understands, and it's good just to have someone to talk to. And I would suggest you shouldn't talk to your mother about this yet, because she might get mad at you for telling your mum. Talk to her first, and then try to support her in whatever she decides to do next.

[Conqueror of Hearts]

First of all, you're not a horrible brother. It is not strange that you didn't notice she was depressed, because some people can really hide their emotons. And don't feel too bad because she didn't tell you, self harm is not something that people would easily talk about...I hate talking about that and only my mum and sister now, and now they think I am fine but really I'm in mess, and I still self harm, and they no nothing about it.
So I guess it's same with your sister...there are many reasons for not telling someone about cutting.
I suggest you don't talk to your mum about it, also just because she cuts her wrists doesn't mean she wants to kill herself, maybe she just perfers that place (I know I do). Self harm is not something that leads to death, it is a way of dealing with emotions...you should talk to her but you have to be super patient.

From my personal experience I will give you few advice:
Never ever jugde her, never act like you are the one who is hurting (i know you r worried but what i hated the most when my sister talked to me about self harm is her constant self pity, she was mad because i scared her etc, the point is, don't make this about yourself, because it's about her), also don't just come up to her and ask her about that, you need to go slowly, just talk aboht some other stuff first,
if she doesn't want to listen to you just write everything and give her a letter.
Try to be as cool about it as you can pretend, because if you're too worried and in panic around her when you talk about that it can be quite irritable.

Take it easy and be patient, I know it's hard but stay strong for her.
And btw, you are an amazing brother.