i just feel like a idiot

[thatgothgirluknow]

i just feel like a total fucking idiot im such a big wimp today i just wanted to cut so bad i dont even know why i just had to do it i wanst even upset about anything i just wanted to do it and so for the first time ever i decided to use a razor blade instead of just some random sharp thing around the house that i cleaned since ive always been scared of using them and so i was about to do it and i figured it would be easier since it would cut easy but my skin is thick and it didnt cut easily but i couldnt get up the courage to push down any harder and i was just to scared to do it so i dropped the razor blade and backed away but i still wana do it so bad and im so scared that i will i dont know what to do i could control this i never thought that i would get to this point i just feel so stupid because no matter how much everyone said that it would i thought i could control it but now i dont think i can

[King_of_Hearts]

Just calm down. Hold some ice or use the butterfly project... just flush the razor... go outside, listen to music, sing dance or whatever helps you.

[thatgothgirluknow]

ive tried nothing is working i dont know why

[thatgothgirluknow]

i dont think the butterfly will work i dont have anyone

[King_of_Hearts]

I am sure you have someone. Mom? Dad? Sister? Even a friend or a past crush...

[thatgothgirluknow]

no my family left and i realy dont care that much avout anyone the only people i have ever had have left me or dont understand and i guess ive gotten to the point of not careing about anyone

[King_of_Hearts]

Oh... well, I am here for you if needed... and I am sorry about all of that, I truely am...

[CRed]

Well you have yourself. You can fight that urge to do it, its only in your head. #Pray.. Keep the thought out your mind and relax

[thatgothgirluknow]

hey thanks guys i managed to relax and i did do the butterfly and it actualy worked i named him MR.NO NAME

[ksdnfkfr]

Getting out and running like hell helps me a lot when i get like that.

[thatgothgirluknow]

i like to do that late at night it helps but i couldnt go out earlier but i talked to someone for once and they helped allot im meeting up with them tomorow but im afraid they might tell my grandma so idk but for now im feeling great