HCFX95
December 30th, 2013, 03:05 AM
Hey guys,
Wow, it's been a whole year since I've posted on here! I can't believe I've made it another year and nothing else has changed. Well, a few things have, and it's been a decent year.
I'm still having problems with my self-confidence. So much so that it has made me lose a few opportunities to fall in love. I'll get more into that later on. As I said on January 1st of this year, I was 5'11" and 254lbs. I ended up getting fed up with being that way, and at the end of April peaking at 267lbs, I went on a diet. Well, I was down to 235lb within 2 months. I've since put about 15 back on due to the stressful transition of High School and College, and I plan to get back on the diet wagon when I get home from my current vacation. But that's not really the issue at hand here. I really do think that my weight is my biggest self-confidence problem, but there's got to be more to it than that.
Anyways, I'm still really struggling with my self-confidence. For some reason, when I am presented with an opportunity to get close to a girl, I push myself away. I keep thinking thoughts like I'm just wasting their time by talking to them, they don't want to talk to someone unnattractive like me, like I'd just be embarrassing myself and them. Yeah, I don't even take myself seriously. I also can't stop asking myself what attractive girls would see in a guy like me, regardless of my laid-back, wholesome personality. I just don't feel like I can approach any girl and talk to them, because of how I look. I know I shouldn't think this way, but every time I'm presented with the opportunity, I push myself away. I also realize that there are worse looking people than me, but that really doesn't help me. I just can't help but think that there's better choices than me, I just imagine that there's Guys with the same personality but the looks to go along with it, and that they are more deserving of the girl than I am. I'm usually very socially positive, but not about myself. They say that "You are your worst critic" and dayum right is that true.
In April I went to Europe. There was 17 girls and 2 guys. Perfect freakin' opportunity right? Well, no. I got talking to one girl one night, and we were laughing, joking and hitting it off. Then I started thinking those thoughts and I pushed myself away. There was one opportunity that I missed. We were in Rome and Venice, for fucks sake!
What can I do to help myself with these thoughts? Do I just need to jump through those last hurdles and make a change? What I really think I need is assurance that I'm not abominable. The only people that call me handsome are my relatives! When I bring up this issue with my friends, they look at me like I'm crazy. They say "You're not bad looking!" But I think that's just them trying to get me to shut up. The single life is just killing me. I'm 18 years old and the only woman I've kissed is my mother, so if I ever do get a girlfriend, they'll be my first for everything, That's a whole other thing.
Help!
Wow, it's been a whole year since I've posted on here! I can't believe I've made it another year and nothing else has changed. Well, a few things have, and it's been a decent year.
I'm still having problems with my self-confidence. So much so that it has made me lose a few opportunities to fall in love. I'll get more into that later on. As I said on January 1st of this year, I was 5'11" and 254lbs. I ended up getting fed up with being that way, and at the end of April peaking at 267lbs, I went on a diet. Well, I was down to 235lb within 2 months. I've since put about 15 back on due to the stressful transition of High School and College, and I plan to get back on the diet wagon when I get home from my current vacation. But that's not really the issue at hand here. I really do think that my weight is my biggest self-confidence problem, but there's got to be more to it than that.
Anyways, I'm still really struggling with my self-confidence. For some reason, when I am presented with an opportunity to get close to a girl, I push myself away. I keep thinking thoughts like I'm just wasting their time by talking to them, they don't want to talk to someone unnattractive like me, like I'd just be embarrassing myself and them. Yeah, I don't even take myself seriously. I also can't stop asking myself what attractive girls would see in a guy like me, regardless of my laid-back, wholesome personality. I just don't feel like I can approach any girl and talk to them, because of how I look. I know I shouldn't think this way, but every time I'm presented with the opportunity, I push myself away. I also realize that there are worse looking people than me, but that really doesn't help me. I just can't help but think that there's better choices than me, I just imagine that there's Guys with the same personality but the looks to go along with it, and that they are more deserving of the girl than I am. I'm usually very socially positive, but not about myself. They say that "You are your worst critic" and dayum right is that true.
In April I went to Europe. There was 17 girls and 2 guys. Perfect freakin' opportunity right? Well, no. I got talking to one girl one night, and we were laughing, joking and hitting it off. Then I started thinking those thoughts and I pushed myself away. There was one opportunity that I missed. We were in Rome and Venice, for fucks sake!
What can I do to help myself with these thoughts? Do I just need to jump through those last hurdles and make a change? What I really think I need is assurance that I'm not abominable. The only people that call me handsome are my relatives! When I bring up this issue with my friends, they look at me like I'm crazy. They say "You're not bad looking!" But I think that's just them trying to get me to shut up. The single life is just killing me. I'm 18 years old and the only woman I've kissed is my mother, so if I ever do get a girlfriend, they'll be my first for everything, That's a whole other thing.
Help!