I think my parents are trying to delay my going down a certain path.

[Romulus]

For anyone who saw this before the edit, I pressed "Enter" too soon. Sorry!

I need unbiased advice, so I came here. My friends would side with me and any adult would side with my parents. So, why not go where no one has a clue who I am!

I am 16 and have been discerning a vocation to the priesthood (as a Capuchin friar)for a year now. I've contacted the order, met with the vocations director for the province and went on a retreat over the summer and spent an evening at a local friary. I have a very strong feeling (99%) that God wants me to become a priest. The thing is, my parents keep saying "You should spend more time figuring this out." I still have two years (the minimum age to apply is 18) to decide if this is what I want. Then, when I told them the minimum age is 18, they told me that they wanted me to do at least two years of college away from the friars. This means no contact with the vocations director and no way to truly find out if this is the way of life that I want to live. The reason I'm even mentioning this is because my spiritual director told me that he's seen people who have been discerning a vocation go through the same thing where their family tells them to go to college for a couple years, away from the order or their spiritual director. They do their two years and then their family tells them to get a degree. They get their degree and then their family tells them they should work a little, then date, then next thing they know, they're married.

While people may say that marriage is a good thing (and it is), and that it may have been God's plan for them to get married (which it very well could have been), now they will never know if they would have been happier somewhere else. It seems like my parents are trying to push me down that path. I know they love me, but still. I don't know if I should listen to them or just go straight into the seminary (you don't just take the classes you would need to be ordained while in the seminary. While you're there, your main focus is spiritual development, but you are encouraged to take other classes. For example, I could take accounting classes if I wanted). Please, answer if you have time.

I tried posting this on a Catholic forum, but everyone said go to the seminary. I was glad to hear it, but of course everyone there would say that. Also, I'm not trying to shove religion down anyone's throat or show off (I was accused of that somewhere else). I am really confused and, as I said, need an unbiased opinion. Thank you!

Pax vobiscum,
Romulus

[unknownuser]

Could it be just that your parents were a little surprised when you told them what you wanted to do- maybe they weren't expecting something like this? They're not trying to hold you back, but maybe making sure you've considered all other options until you jump into something like this?

A part of me says listen to your parents and give the two years of college a try- even if just to please them... But then again, if you really believe it is your true calling and your dream, you should go with your gut feeling about it... and it really would suck if you missed your opportunity at priesthood just because your parents pushed you too far...

Really a tough situation that is going to steer the course of the rest of your life... I would continue talking to your parents about it, showing them that this is the path that you're devoted to and want to follow so they can see how dedicated you are toward it. I would pursue the seminary, regardless of your parents thoughts if YOU think it is the right decision for YOU; don't worry about what your parents and others think, if they really loved and supported you, they'd understand your calling. And just in case something goes wrong or you change your mind in the last minute, it would not hurt to have a plan B involving college/job.

Hope it goes well for you and your family supports you through this.
Stay strong and follow what He's telling you. :)

[RavleIncarnate]

Go for your feelings, but be sure to have a backup.

[mww113]

Tough question. I'll begin by saying that nobody really knows what you're going to love most as a career besides you. Career and job advice is difficult and often confusing, and there are a lot of things you have to figure out on your own.

That said, although you've probably heard this ad nauseum, I would advise you to wait a little longer. As you said, the minimum age to apply is 18. I would suggest that you spend those 2 years leading up to 18 exploring careers and colleges outside of the priesthood. You may come to find that as you age, your ideas about religion and spirituality may change. That's not something to be afraid of, but rather it should be embraced. Everyone needs to discover what he/she believes on his/her own and no one can tell you which religion (or beliefs with in that religion) are right or wrong. Each person has to form their own ideas.

Personally I would advise you to do a year or two of college as well. College teaches you to think critically. And generally, in the first couple of years, you are completing general education requirements that I believe every person needs in order to become a thinking and well-rounded educated person. College will challenge your ideas, and make you wonder about things that are not familiar to you. It will push you and it will test you, but you will be a better person for it. It also gives you the opportunity to be your own boss and explore the world. No longer do you have to obey your parents' every wish. You have time to explore and begin the process of self-discovery.

Do what you feel you have to do, but at 16 I would advise you not to get fixed on one thing. A lot can change in the years to come. My ideas about college and my career path were changing even in my senior year of high school.

Best wishes,

Matt