its just me.

[dinger]

i have been suffering from anorexia on and off (mainly on) for just under 9 years now, and bulimia for about 4 years. i have been in and out of hospital for as long as i can remember. i have been to so many different counsilers and all typs of places and nothing really seems to work. i think the longest i have been healthy for is about 2 months and i some how find myself going back to the ED ways. i cant actually remember myself not being like this, not having my life controlled by my weight. this is just who i am and i think i will always be like this.
my last psyc said that this was the worst case of eating disorda he was ever come across (that make me feel brillint). i am told everytime i go into hospital i am not going to live past the age of around 20. only a couple of years left. :(

[Atonement]

Oh, be strong! :hug: We are all here for you should you ever feel like talking about it. I know it sucks and is hell, but everything can get better. :) Hang in there!

[dinger]

what you seriously want to hear my story. about my crappy life??

[Atonement]

Hell, if you want to tell us, we are listening. Whatever we can do to help. :)

[dinger]

well i dont even know how it all started. dont people usually have a reason to get an eating disorda. i have had a normal happy bringing up in my life. and to me it doesnt make sence. but it happened. and i cant seem to shake it off, its like i am stuck in a rutt, and cant get out of it.
i have lost so many friends because of this but no matter what i do, i just seem to be getting worse and worse.

[Atonement]

I think that you need to find the source of all this. Thats about it. the number one thing I can say, is that if you can't break the disorder for yourself, break it for your family. Have mercy on your family so that you don't torture them by making them see you slowly deteriorate. It crushes your friends and family for them to see you in such a state.

Good luck and stay strong!

[dinger]

the truth is i am dying and i have lost my chance to get better, and i am still doing the things that i know are killing me and i cant stop. its like an addiction.

i have no idea of what the meaning strong is!

[japanman]

man i hope you stay strong and get better dont let the disoders win get help from people beat the disorders

[dinger]

i have had help
and it didnt work.
nothing does.
that is my destiney i believe.
this is the plan god has for me.

[dinger]

gaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!
life sucks asss.
why does everything have to be like this :(

[Zephyr]

Hun, it's okay = )
You deserve to live and overcome this obstacle.
I've had some friends of my own that have had the same disorders, and they are on their way to being healthy now because they found the right kind of support. The first steps to wellness are strong friendships and laughter, feel free to PM me any time you'd like if you need somebody to talk to, I would be more than happy to help you in any way that I can.

[dinger]

today i passed out at school.
in english it was soo embarresing. and i was taken to the sick bay.
and then they welfair person came and talked to me, like i was some mental case or something. i didnt talk to him and i acted like nothing was wrong.
gaaahhhhh.
i can't bleive it.
i have passed out beofre, but never at schoool.


and then after school. i went to go and get my belly periced because i have always wanted to. and they wouldnt do it because there wasnt enough "fat" there. GOD SHAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!
life sucks.