Navi
December 27th, 2013, 11:36 PM
yeah i know i said i wouldn't be posting much like a few months ago but meh this is only one post deal with it
I apologize in advance in case none of this makes sense, it's rather late for me, so it's kinda mumbled thoughts.
anyways.... burnt-out? bored? i don't know what I'd call it.
I've been feeling so-so for the past month. Seems to happen every year around the holiday season. Is it the holiday blues? Who knows. Usually, I just get pissed off because no decorations are up. Well, that happened again, but meh, I guess I can get past it now since Christmas is over.
But, besides being pissed off at the world, I'm just feeling.... burnt out. And extremely bored.
I've been at church pretty much every Sunday for the past five or so months. All the senior members have had at least two weekends off in the past few months. Does it get boring? Yes. Do I enjoy it? Heck yes. I just feel weird if I don't make it to a Sunday service. I'm always there. At the same time, I always feel like I shouldn't go. Don't go to a Sunday service or don't go to youth on Wednesday. I've done it before.
Schoolwork... I'm actually doing schoolwork again. Though, it just feels repetitive too. Log in, print the notes, highlight, do the exam, get an A. Move on. It feels too simple. Like I shouldn't be getting the grades I do. Is it a ripoff? Is this school not legit? I'm not sure. I hope it's legit. I want to graduate and move on with my life.
Friends? I still have none. Sure, I have the people I talk to at youth group, but I don't have a desire to hang out with them anymore. I don't like them that much. I've changed, they've changed. It just doesn't work out. I could use someone that's like bestie material. However, with church being my only social option and my mom not really allowing me to do anything, it's kinda hard to make friends.
Work.... Well, it's only a summer job, but I love it. I just want more adventure. I want to be a camp counselor at a real camp, not just a day camp. Problem is, I don't know of any 'real' camps. It's frustrating. I want to work, I have a short-term life plan, but I can't do anything about it.
I just feel, well, bored, with everything. It's basically the same routine now. Nothing really changes. But yet, everything's changing. Family's moving back after moving away. Mom's schedule keeps changing. My schedule- well- I sit at home all day, doing schoolwork while eating nonstop, listening to my talk shows, and playing video games. Oh, and church Wednesday and Sunday. I just don't have the motivation to do much anymore. I want to lose weight, duh, but, it's difficult to do it alone. I don't like going to the park alone, and no one else will go with. What do I do? I feel like if I don't do something soon, it's not gonna be good for my health or whatever.
well. that's it for now. i hope this somewhat makes sense. I'm sorry, it's late, my thoughts are jumbled.
tl;dr i guess is just- i'm just bored and kinda burnt-out and I don't really know what to do about it
thanks y'all!
I apologize in advance in case none of this makes sense, it's rather late for me, so it's kinda mumbled thoughts.
anyways.... burnt-out? bored? i don't know what I'd call it.
I've been feeling so-so for the past month. Seems to happen every year around the holiday season. Is it the holiday blues? Who knows. Usually, I just get pissed off because no decorations are up. Well, that happened again, but meh, I guess I can get past it now since Christmas is over.
But, besides being pissed off at the world, I'm just feeling.... burnt out. And extremely bored.
I've been at church pretty much every Sunday for the past five or so months. All the senior members have had at least two weekends off in the past few months. Does it get boring? Yes. Do I enjoy it? Heck yes. I just feel weird if I don't make it to a Sunday service. I'm always there. At the same time, I always feel like I shouldn't go. Don't go to a Sunday service or don't go to youth on Wednesday. I've done it before.
Schoolwork... I'm actually doing schoolwork again. Though, it just feels repetitive too. Log in, print the notes, highlight, do the exam, get an A. Move on. It feels too simple. Like I shouldn't be getting the grades I do. Is it a ripoff? Is this school not legit? I'm not sure. I hope it's legit. I want to graduate and move on with my life.
Friends? I still have none. Sure, I have the people I talk to at youth group, but I don't have a desire to hang out with them anymore. I don't like them that much. I've changed, they've changed. It just doesn't work out. I could use someone that's like bestie material. However, with church being my only social option and my mom not really allowing me to do anything, it's kinda hard to make friends.
Work.... Well, it's only a summer job, but I love it. I just want more adventure. I want to be a camp counselor at a real camp, not just a day camp. Problem is, I don't know of any 'real' camps. It's frustrating. I want to work, I have a short-term life plan, but I can't do anything about it.
I just feel, well, bored, with everything. It's basically the same routine now. Nothing really changes. But yet, everything's changing. Family's moving back after moving away. Mom's schedule keeps changing. My schedule- well- I sit at home all day, doing schoolwork while eating nonstop, listening to my talk shows, and playing video games. Oh, and church Wednesday and Sunday. I just don't have the motivation to do much anymore. I want to lose weight, duh, but, it's difficult to do it alone. I don't like going to the park alone, and no one else will go with. What do I do? I feel like if I don't do something soon, it's not gonna be good for my health or whatever.
well. that's it for now. i hope this somewhat makes sense. I'm sorry, it's late, my thoughts are jumbled.
tl;dr i guess is just- i'm just bored and kinda burnt-out and I don't really know what to do about it
thanks y'all!