Question for gay/bisexual guys

[Pulp501]

I don't want to offend anyone by asking this but would you say you are like a stereotypical gay guy like you usually see on tv, where they have a flamboyant attitude and dress weird and talk in the stereotypical gay voice and stuff or would you say you are more like a typical straight guy. I've also known some people that came out and then acted totally different they acted more like a stereotype gay when they never did before

[Harley Quinn]

P101 :arrow: Teen Sexuality

[Abyssal Echo]

Nope I'm not your stereotypical gay guy. if you saw me walking down the street (unless you know me) you would not know I was gay.

[leirbag]

I'd be stupid if I was offended by your curiosity. Well I don't really consider myself flamboyant. There are two guys in my class who are and people who they just met ask "hey, is that guy gay?". On the other hand, I don't think I give that impression people who've met me (otherwise I doubt girls would have had crushes on me hahaha).

If people from my class (with whom I've been for 12 years now) suspect I'm gay, it must have been because of what I haven't done: I have never been interested in football, I never talked about girls ( how hot this and that girl were, or how I would cum all over this girls boobs etc) and I guess most importantly, I have never dated anyone (if I had wanted, I could have easily had a girlfriend -no intention to brag-).

Maybe those people had always been like that, but they repressed it and now that its out it might seem to you like they changed. Will I change when I come out? Other than not laughing to homophobic jokes anymore, I don't think so.

PS: I do wish I had the stereotypical gay's sense of fashion cos that's a real pain in the ass -pun intended- hahaha

[Avacon]

I don't think I am. Or at least... didn't think I was.

One of my friends who knows says he hadn't noticed it (before I told him), but then he points it out occasionally now he knows.

Some other people are mean about it (they don't know) and say things like, "You know, you're really camp." or "Gaaaaaay."

I mean, I know I am gay, so it shouldn't really affect me too much if I'm like the stereotype, or a bit different (actually kinda gives me an excuse), but I don't personally want to be really girly or "faaabulous". Meh.

Basically, you probably wouldn't know unless I spoke for too long.

[AlexOnToast]

Nope, I love sports, especially soccer and surfing and rugby and BMX. I dont wear girly clothes, i dont act girly, i dont act bitchy. I guess the only way that im stereotypical is that i have a lot of girl friends

[Jungle]

haha, I odn't have a gay voice, no ;) Nor do I have the weird American gay lisp you hear all too often. I have a weird dress sense, but not particularly gay :L

Naah I don't really fit the stereotype. I mean, I'm gay, but that's about it :P

[tundravortex]

im bi and im normal...i mean im an ass to people but im all normal just playing both sides of the fence,the real time people act stereotypic is wen there coming back from the bar and they walk pass a gay guy

[Kronos]

Im bisexual and no one ever even had a clue when I came out:
I play for my school rugby team, ive been known to be a fighter, and im always staring at my english teachers fine ass

[Brice]

There are gay guys who act just like straight guys. I consider myself in between stereotypical gay/bisexual and normal straight guy. I'm definitely more feminine than other guys, but I'm still a boy and and interested in some of the same things. Like, I like to play sports when I have the energy to. And most of the things I like have absolutely nothing to do with my sexuality. Its just what I believe in and my personal preference. Like a normal straight guy to me (based on a lot of straight guys I know) is a guy who's kind of... Dumb, bad handwriting, obsessed with sports, and insensitive. That's why most of my friends are girls. But, no, I'm definitely not a stereotype gay/bi guy. And by the way, your question isn't offensive at all. Its actually a good question.

[From Chris]

I don't want to offend anyone by asking this but would you say you are like a stereotypical gay guy like you usually see on tv, where they have a flamboyant attitude and dress weird and talk in the stereotypical gay voice and stuff or would you say you are more like a typical straight guy. I've also known some people that came out and then acted totally different they acted more like a stereotype gay when they never did before

Nope! If you met me in real life you wouldn't be able to tell i'm gay or not. I look like a typical straight guy, i'm not very flamboyant either. :) However there are things that i feel like i can do now without being thought of as gay before i actually came out.

-From Chris

[mww113]

Ok I'm going to go a little social justice here. I don't think there is any "typical" gay guy. Our community is large and diverse. Every type of guy from the flamboyant to the sporty and tough type can be gay.

Unfortunately however, our community tends to value "straight acting" guys. A term which I resent. If you are gay, you are not "straight acting". And being all masculine and tough shouldn't be more valued than anything else. Everyone should feel free to be who they are without being judged by society for it. And I resent the term "normal" being used to describe a guy who seems straight to people. That term implies that homosexuality is not normal, which it is.

To answer your question however, it depends. Some people say that they know immediately that I am gay, and some have to ask me to figure it out. Some have said that they had no idea. It really depends on the person. I like things that are both masculine and feminine. I value football, cars, sports, and hanging out with straight guys as much as I love Madonna and going shopping or out on the town with girls. I feel no need to confine my behavior in order to fit a societal expectation that I need to act straight to be valued or avoid discrimination.

HOWEVER. Your question is not offensive. There is never anything wrong with asking a question as long as you do it in a respectful way. So thank you for that :).

[ImCoolBeans]

I'm into some things that the stereotypical straight guy might not admit to be into, but I think that's more so them being stereotypically straight; like antiques, fashion. Heteronormativity, y'know? But no, I don't act any different than a "normal" straight guy I guess. I guess I'm not really afraid to show more emotion because I'm not really trying to pertain to the straight stereotype, but I'm not flamboyant.

[ksdnfkfr]

I think some guys kinda put on a show of being effeminate the same as some guys put on a show of being macho. I would say i get thought of as a "queer" sometimes because I am shy and quiet - non confrontational - cry easily - but that is more because of having autism I think. And I think usually anytime a boy is gentle or sensitive and stuff like that he is thought of as gay even if he's not.

[ATOMICskittles]

I don't want to offend anyone by asking this but would you say you are like a stereotypical gay guy like you usually see on tv, where they have a flamboyant attitude and dress weird and talk in the stereotypical gay voice and stuff or would you say you are more like a typical straight guy. I've also known some people that came out and then acted totally different they acted more like a stereotype gay when they never did before

It depends on the person, for me when I came out to people, people would say "I.. I kinda already knew" You can say I'm very flamboyant. I got the voice and everything. However my gay friend, people would never know he's gay. It depends.

[Gifford]

I don't want to offend anyone by asking this but would you say you are like a stereotypical gay guy like you usually see on tv, where they have a flamboyant attitude and dress weird and talk in the stereotypical gay voice and stuff or would you say you are more like a typical straight guy. I've also known some people that came out and then acted totally different they acted more like a stereotype gay when they never did before

I am a masculine, straight-acting gay guy. When I meet new people who don't know I'm gay, we talk and get to know each other. Then if it comes up and I divulge my sexuality, usually they act surprised or shocked, saying "but you act so totally straight". This has happened to me many times. When I meet the parents of friends who know I'm gay, I act normally, and the parents later ask their son/daughter if i have a girlfriend, who's my girlfriend, "he must have the girls after him all the time". We laugh.

It's the way I was raised. My gramps, though gay, is very masculine acting; my dad is very masculine,, "a man's man".

I don't find "queenie" gay boys attractive, and I'm put off by that type of behaviour. That doesn't mean I respect them any less, but I just don't believe - for me - that a male should act that way.

A few of you may jump on me for this viewpoint, but that's the way I feel. I don't my behaviour or actions to scream out loud, "Whooppee, I'm a FAIRY!"

[Storm'sGame15]

Nope, quite straight acting at least. When I told my friends they never knew. Even today no one thinks I'm bi. Which is nice because no one offends me or calls me names. Don't have a high pitched voice either which I'm glad, can't stand that.

[sqishy]

Some of the stereotypes might hold with me. I am emotionally effusive, for example (mostly in private). But for most of them I fail to categorise in. i.e. I don't go with most of the gay stereotypes.

[mww113]

I am a masculine, straight-acting gay guy. When I meet new people who don't know I'm gay, we talk and get to know each other. Then if it comes up and I divulge my sexuality, usually they act surprised or shocked, saying "but you act so totally straight". This has happened to me many times. When I meet the parents of friends who know I'm gay, I act normally, and the parents later ask their son/daughter if i have a girlfriend, who's my girlfriend, "he must have the girls after him all the time". We laugh.

It's the way I was raised. My gramps, though gay, is very masculine acting; my dad is very masculine,, "a man's man".

I don't find "queenie" gay boys attractive, and I'm put off by that type of behaviour. That doesn't mean I respect them any less, but I just don't believe - for me - that a male should act that way.

A few of you may jump on me for this viewpoint, but that's the way I feel. I don't my behaviour or actions to scream out loud, "Whooppee, I'm a FAIRY!"

Not to "jump on you", to borrow your words :P, but I would ask you the following: Why shouldn't a male act the way he wants to? Why should someone have to conform to the traditional ideas of gender if he doesn't want to? And why do we as a society value the "masculine ideal" so highly?

I personally am not fond of the term "straight acting" because I think it is a loaded term. It implies that "straight acting" is "normal" and should be valued, and "gay acting" is "abnormal" and should not be valued. You're not straight acting when you're getting with a guy sexually, so why should you use that term to describe the other parts of your life?

I'm not trying to disrespect you or become confrontational, I'm just curious to hear your thoughts about this. The overreaching point that I'm trying to make is that I think guys should be able to act however they want to, be it "masculine" or "feminine", without society imposing judgements upon them about how they should act. Who is anyone to tell anyone else how a male should behave?

Again, I'm really not trying to confront or argue with you, I'm just curious to hear what you have to say. :)

[Verne]

I was very flamboyant in 5th grade. I would do my model walk everywhere I went. I would also put on an act called "Mr. Lady" for my friends (pretty much all girls) and one thing I can remember is that I "flipped my hair" against a wall and "broke my nail." When I entered 6th grade, however, I became reserved, since there were so many people I didn't know at the time. The only flamboyant incident I had was when a girl from my old school asked me to show her 6th grade friend my model walk. I did, and that was that.

[steellord321]

I'm kinda effeminate but it's total lack of interest in girls that others notice.

If someone changes their behavior after coming out, is probly cause they don't have to hide it anymore.

[itsanthonym]

I'm bi but am not at all flamboyant, but one of my friends at school is gay and he's insanely flamboyant.

[Crosby14]

If you were to meet me you would think I'm straight, but I dress really well, and talk with a low"straight" voice! Sometimes I have gay moments but who doesn't

[Jakie23]

I'd say I'm a stereotypical gay guy. Not the most flamboyant, but if you met me you'd know within a minute

[Faolan]

Some might consider me a bit up in the air, but I wouldn't call myself flamboyant. I prefer to stay out of the limelight. Mostly I just like to dress nicely (button down shirt, etc...), like tidiness and organization, and have a fairly high voice. Also I dance and am in choir, if that counts for anything. So I would say that I fit the stereotype in some, but not all ways.

[Twilly F. Sniper]

I'm too reserved for anyone to tell, mostly.
But in a way, yes.
I only show that side of me in quite rare occasions.
I try to completely shut off that mode in school.
(But those colors do NOT match gurrrl, nu-uh.)

[joem1993]

Will I change when I come out? Other than not laughing to homophobic jokes anymore, I don't think so.


are you kidding? some of those jokes are actually funny.

to op: no i'm not flamboyant. and i don't particularly care for effeminate gay guys.

[Lovelife090994]

I'm very reserved and although on the inside I am slightly feminine and maybe even emo I am neither masculine nor feminine on the outside. My voice is just my voice and my hair is nothing special. I wear a lot of dull colors but I do want to be more colorful. I go as bi but no one would know. You'd think I'm asexual or gay since I never talk of sex or girls in a sexual way, also because I have never dated or kissed.

[Iamas3xfr3ak]

Iam more of a person to say that i like sex Boy girl whatever but in the end its how you feel I like sex I like Girls but have missed around with guys it's just was not the same as with a girl for me so in the end its up to u.

[Laquifa]

I can be stereotypical at times.

[Brown13]

I don't really act flamboyant or anything. I'm told i do some flamboyant things from time tp time but nothing that would classify me as a "stereotype" i do have many girl friends but i usually am seen with my guy friends. I'm bi but still my voice can give it away when i get upset

[TheWaterPrince]

If you saw me in public you'd think I was an average straight guy. I don't really broadcast my orientation. I've had people think I was gay before but that was because of my mostly female friends and because I have moments where I'm somewhat feminine

[Alex_3869]

I would probably say I am more stereotypical. I like my clothes and fashion and pop music etc. etc. I don't have a 'gay voice' or at least I don't think I do, I don't really know what it sounds like to other people. I used to be into more sports, but mainly only football and swimming, but I have kind of shyed away because I don't have interest in them anymore. I really don't dress like a normal straight guy, and my hair isn't done like a normal straight guy's, I don't walk like a normal straight guy, but I think that is just because I have more confidence than most people about myself, so I'm kind of walk really confidently, if that makes sense.

[maddogmj77]

I'm bi & you would have ABSOLUTELY no idea. lol

[MechaSniper]

You wouldn't be able to tell

[JacobIN]

I don't think I act like a stereotypical gay guy...but I am Bi if that changes anything.

[Philleeep]

I'm slap bang in the middle