How do you handle rejection and abandonment?

[dreamofdante]

Quite recently I've been abandoned and not only that, rejected by someone who was all over me just as of last night. I've been rejected by 50+ women in the span of six years and I'm just wondering how I can handle this for much longer without giving up on relationships altogether. I mean I try my damndest to be good for someone but I never am or things just don't work out. And then people tell me to stay positive. I've never had a positive experience in this field because something always goes wrong. WHAT DO I DO!?

[unknownuser]

Sounds to me like you're trying too hard... don't make yourself too open and easy to get to.

If you want a good and hopefully long-lasting relationship, you need to act natural and be truthful from the very start. (yeah, I know, sorry, obvious but true)

[dreamofdante]

Sounds to me like you're trying too hard... don't make yourself too open and easy to get to.

If you want a good and hopefully long-lasting relationship, you need to act natural and be truthful from the very start. (yeah, I know, sorry, obvious but true)

Yeah and people don't seem to like the real me so I can't ever be natural....:(

[Sarah_Ward]

Well, I thnk this is the age old question... 'why dosnt my crush notice me?' I agree with YOUNGandMEEK... I think that when you try to be something your not the other person gets the wrong impression of you and when the 'real' you comes thru (which it will) then they realise that there's a problem and, believe me that's such a turn-off and it will cause you LOADS of problems in relationships. My grandparents have a saying 'when your a giraffe don't try to be an elephant'. There will be a girl out there for you but you HAVE to be YOURSELF to attract her!!

[unknownuser]

Well, I thnk this is the age old question... 'why dosnt my crush notice me?' I agree with YOUNGandMEEK... I think that when you try to be something your not the other person gets the wrong impression of you and when the 'real' you comes thru (which it will) then they realise that there's a problem and, believe me that's such a turn-off and it will cause you LOADS of problems in relationships. My grandparents have a saying 'when your a giraffe don't try to be an elephant'. There will be a girl out there for you but you HAVE to be YOURSELF to attract her!!

Amen, sister!

You've got your whole life ahead of you, Jack, you're bound to find someone that does like the true you... you've been looking in the wrong places.

[dreamofdante]

Well, I thnk this is the age old question... 'why dosnt my crush notice me?' I agree with YOUNGandMEEK... I think that when you try to be something your not the other person gets the wrong impression of you and when the 'real' you comes thru (which it will) then they realise that there's a problem and, believe me that's such a turn-off and it will cause you LOADS of problems in relationships. My grandparents have a saying 'when your a giraffe don't try to be an elephant'. There will be a girl out there for you but you HAVE to be YOURSELF to attract her!!

I'll try to be myself more I guess even though I'm really out there and get bullied for it...

[dreamofdante]

Amen, sister!

You've got your whole life ahead of you, Jack, you're bound to find someone that does like the true you... you've been looking in the wrong places.

I really need help finding the right places then...

[unknownuser]

I really need help finding the right places then...

What have you been doing up until now?

You're 17, so still in high school? Your horizons will expand as you go out get a job, college, further education...

[dreamofdante]

Well I've been trying to ask out girls at my church but ironically, they all cold heartedly rejected me and said I'm too weird and not attractive. So I've tried online as well but it doesn't feel the same and it leaves me hurting more than anything in real life does. Other than that, nothing much else. Just a lot of rejection.

[scott757]

I'm in the same situation, man. It sucks badly. I consider myself quite openly as a weirdo (not in like a creepy, dodgy way though) and will admit to it if anyone asked me about it. I do get periods of time when I feel really down about it, like the last few days, especially when most of my close friends are in relationships and the girl I like doesn't like me. Other times it just goes completely over my head and I don't think about it. I've tried more or less every way to get to atleast talk to girls (bar online, I've tried to avoid that as much as possible, but never close myself off if anything was to come up). I keep getting told "it'll happen at some point" but after 17 years and only two real relationships (of which only 1 worked for any length of time) it does get at you from time to time. I guess this is why I have an unhealthy computer games addiction hahaha

[dreamofdante]

I'm in the same situation, man. It sucks badly. I consider myself quite openly as a weirdo (not in like a creepy, dodgy way though) and will admit to it if anyone asked me about it. I do get periods of time when I feel really down about it, like the last few days, especially when most of my close friends are in relationships and the girl I like doesn't like me. Other times it just goes completely over my head and I don't think about it. I've tried more or less every way to get to atleast talk to girls (bar online, I've tried to avoid that as much as possible, but never close myself off if anything was to come up). I keep getting told "it'll happen at some point" but after 17 years and only two real relationships (of which only 1 worked for any length of time) it does get at you from time to time. I guess this is why I have an unhealthy computer games addiction hahaha

Yeah I don't believe it either no matter what people say at this point. I've never had a girlfriend and I'm 18 in 6 days.

[scott757]

Yeah I don't believe it either no matter what people say at this point. I've never had a girlfriend and I'm 18 in 6 days.

I find it hard to accept it at times haha, especially since my situation at the moment is pretty much rock bottom when it comes to confidence in this. I suppose it must happen at some point but COME ON!! :mad: As others said, there must be someone out there eventually, it's just hard to imagine it when you're at your wits end about the situation.

[dreamofdante]

I find it hard to accept it at times haha, especially since my situation at the moment is pretty much rock bottom when it comes to confidence in this. I suppose it must happen at some point but COME ON!! :mad: As others said, there must be someone out there eventually, it's just hard to imagine it when you're at your wits end about the situation.

You've had more than me. Two girlfriends and I did see you've made out and I've never kissed a girl so you have a lot more chance than me, man.

[scott757]

You've had more than me. Two girlfriends and I did see you've made out and I've never kissed a girl so you have a lot more chance than me, man.

The last time I had a girlfriend was nearly two years ago :/ Although I've had the experience before, it still sucks for me now lol. My problem is that I know no-one who I'm interested in, bar one who doesn't like me in that way and I'm not physically attractive, so it's a big struggle for me nowadays.

[dreamofdante]

The last time I had a girlfriend was nearly two years ago :/ Although I've had the experience before, it still sucks for me now lol. My problem is that I know no-one who I'm interested in, bar one who doesn't like me in that way and I'm not physically attractive, so it's a big struggle for me nowadays.

I'm not physically attractive and no one wants me. My chances are still way worse than yours though since you've had the experiences. I'm almost 18, man.

[scott757]

I'm not physically attractive and no one wants me. My chances are still way worse than yours though since you've had the experiences. I'm almost 18, man.

We're in the same boat bar experience it seems :( I'm 18 in a few months too. If you're still in school is there anyone you can maybe try to speak to and just be friends... see if she becomes interested, once she knows you? But just don't do what I did and leave it too long and let it go to the friendzone.

[dreamofdante]

We're in the same boat bar experience it seems :( I'm 18 in a few months too. If you're still in school is there anyone you can maybe try to speak to and just be friends... see if she becomes interested, once she knows you? But just don't do what I did and leave it too long and let it go to the friendzone.

No I'm in cyber school. And when I was in public school no one wanted me so I just left.

[scott757]

No I'm in cyber school. And when I was in public school no one wanted me so I just left.

Ah, well, that's more difficult then, and I don't know how cyber school works so don't really know how it can be beneficial for you in finding a girl. I suppose if you started going out with your friends places, you might bump into someone along the road who will like you.

[dreamofdante]

Ah, well, that's more difficult then, and I don't know how cyber school works so don't really know how it can be beneficial for you in finding a girl. I suppose if you started going out with your friends places, you might bump into someone along the road who will like you.

I don't have many friends at all.

[scott757]

I don't have many friends at all.

It's not the end of the world, just stick with the ones you have and eventually you might meet someone

[dreamofdante]

It's not the end of the world, just stick with the ones you have and eventually you might meet someone

If you say so

[Abyssal Echo]

its probably not the best way usually I cry about it while getting drunk

[dreamofdante]

its probably not the best way usually I cry about it while getting drunk

I'll be doing that on my birthday.

[Barneytinsen]

heres what you do you call your friends have a shots party put some the script songs tell your friends the whole story get drunk cry yourself to sleep while drunk wake up the next morning and you wont remember a thing ;) .

[dreamofdante]

heres what you do you call your friends have a shots party put some the script songs tell your friends the whole story get drunk cry yourself to sleep while drunk wake up the next morning and you wont remember a thing ;) .

That sounds pretty depressing.

[Barneytinsen]

^ well thats what my friend does and if you want to do what i do i do it like this:

just smile like nothing happend. yes thats how simple it is, just erase her just think like that girl does not exist.

[dreamofdante]

^ well thats what my friend does and if you want to do what i do i do it like this:

just smile like nothing happend. yes thats how simple it is, just erase her just think like that girl does not exist.

Yeah I basically erased the other 50+ women from my life that rejected me. This one should be no different I guess...

[newkler]

make a pause :)