Aceso
December 23rd, 2013, 05:23 PM
Long story short, so I don't complicate things:
Parents split in january, always had a better relationship with father as mother has similar emotional difficulties as me and we tend to trigger eachother off. However, as both live locally me and my brother chose to split time spent with each parent equally - divided directly through the middle of the week.
I've recently found my mood relapsing, having just started A-levels and generally just struggling through every day, along with playing a part time mediator, guardian and psychologist to my mothers side of the family is burning me out to say the least and I feel like I'm constantly having to look over my back when I'm at her residence. I feel like I have no other options right now but to reduce the amount of time here.
I really care about my mother, but I feel she would take it very personally if I said I needed to spend more time at my dad's house. I don't think there's much I can say to convince her it isn't personal and that I still love her. I know even without me saying anything that she feels a let down sometimes and I worry I'll really hurt her when I tell her, but I just have to get out. When she's well, she's an incredible parent, and even when she's not she tries hard, and I feel intensely guilty about leaving, but I'm at a loss.
At the moment I've spoken to my therapist and my dad and they're supporting my decision, I've also breached the idea of a new arrangement with my mother but she's still assuming childcare will be fifty-fifty. I'm going to have to tell her soon, and it's one of those decisions I'm dreading, especially at this time. Especially around christmas, she's trying so hard to be a good single mum and gone out of her way this year to accommodate for us and I just want to cry because I know this is really going to hurt.
So I guess I'm asking for advice really, have any of you been in a situation like this before, and how can I make this as kind as possible? I really don't want to damage the relationship I have with her, but I also need to figure out what's best for me too. Thanks
Parents split in january, always had a better relationship with father as mother has similar emotional difficulties as me and we tend to trigger eachother off. However, as both live locally me and my brother chose to split time spent with each parent equally - divided directly through the middle of the week.
I've recently found my mood relapsing, having just started A-levels and generally just struggling through every day, along with playing a part time mediator, guardian and psychologist to my mothers side of the family is burning me out to say the least and I feel like I'm constantly having to look over my back when I'm at her residence. I feel like I have no other options right now but to reduce the amount of time here.
I really care about my mother, but I feel she would take it very personally if I said I needed to spend more time at my dad's house. I don't think there's much I can say to convince her it isn't personal and that I still love her. I know even without me saying anything that she feels a let down sometimes and I worry I'll really hurt her when I tell her, but I just have to get out. When she's well, she's an incredible parent, and even when she's not she tries hard, and I feel intensely guilty about leaving, but I'm at a loss.
At the moment I've spoken to my therapist and my dad and they're supporting my decision, I've also breached the idea of a new arrangement with my mother but she's still assuming childcare will be fifty-fifty. I'm going to have to tell her soon, and it's one of those decisions I'm dreading, especially at this time. Especially around christmas, she's trying so hard to be a good single mum and gone out of her way this year to accommodate for us and I just want to cry because I know this is really going to hurt.
So I guess I'm asking for advice really, have any of you been in a situation like this before, and how can I make this as kind as possible? I really don't want to damage the relationship I have with her, but I also need to figure out what's best for me too. Thanks