I dont know what to do!!!!!

[thatgothgirluknow]

i have realy bad anger isuses like i dont hurt others or yell or scream i hurt myself i used to just dig my nails into my hand and leave marks thats not so bad right ? but it just kept getting worse i got mad easier sometimes not even knowing why i was mad and when im mad im mad at every thing and everyone even myself but i dont hate myself when im not upset only when im mad and i dont understand why i just go from loving myself one day to hating myself the next i think im developing a cutting problem and maybe its crazy but i dont know how to stop it from getting worse when im calm and fine i can just say i wont do it but when im not its another story everyone even my counselar thinks im fine my counselar left because she didnt think i needed her services since she doesnt know and i dont know how to talk to anyone about it pluss my grandma thinks that my older sister who cuts is crazy and so im afraid shell think im crazy what do i do:confused:

[MisterNobody]

Well, if it's already crippling you, then the problem is beyond your control, regardless of your emotional state. I believe anyone can overcome their adversities, but you can't always do it alone. You say your counselor left because she felt she wasn't needed, which makes sense if you weren't being honest with her about your issues. In order to get help, you need to be honest, otherwise, you're only digging yourself deeper into the hole. You need to find somebody you can rely on, and more specifically, someone who won't flip out on your if you tell them about your SH. I wouldn't tell your grandmother right now, only because her reaction will further damage you emotionally. You really should get in contact with your previous counselor and be honest with her about what's going on inside of you (and since you already know this person, I'd assume it'd be easier than looking for a totally new counselor). I'm sure she can point you in the right direction in the way of seeking help. The good thing is that you're aware there's a problem, and you've taken the first step already in getting the help you need just by talking about it here. I know it doesn't seem like much, but it really is a brave thing in itself, just talking about it. Now it's up to you whether or not you follow through. But I strongly encourage you to, because you deserve to feel better! And you will. Everything will be okay, just don't give up on yourself, okay? You'll make it through this. Stay strong.

[thatgothgirluknow]

thanks when i get back to school ill contact her

[Katiya]

If you have no friends or family to go to you should tell that counselor or another one. Don't let them blow you off.

[Katiya]

PS sense your in Michigan. Do make sure whoever you tell promises not to send you to the ward. Its a terrible place and Michigan has a law that let's counselors put you there against your will. If you do have to go make sure you sign your self in so you can sign back out other ways they can trap you there for ages. The strip search you and search all your private parts too with fingers and instruments. Sorry to scare you but everyone should know about this before hand.

So I'm not saying don't tell. Just be careful who you tell ;) Most won't do that but there are crappy counselors, so get one who deals with sh often. That ways they don't freak and think your trying to kill your self and send you to the ward. Some inexperienced or just plain crummy ones do that. So build a bit if trust first. Try and get them to ask abt sh first and test the waters. If they try to blow you off tell them you have something important to say but need some time to trust first;)

[thatgothgirluknow]

thanks didnt know about that but i rly dont live in michigan but i live realy close to it so i just say i do do u know about the laws in ohio