Alexwellace
December 22nd, 2013, 06:44 PM
Hello, My name is Alex and I am 14 years old and this is a short story I am writing for my English homework over Christmas. The story has to be under 2,000 words and be 'enjoyable' for her to read and mark, not particularly detailed parameters but they where what I worked with :)
Anyhow I would love it if any of you could read it and tell me what you think. This is the first short story I wrote outside of school so I would also ask if you could pick up on any grammar mistakes I made, I have quite bad dyslexia and a tendency to use big words, problems usually arise :whoops: Here goes nothing!
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Walking is controlled falling. Wrestling one foot off the ground and trusting gravity to make sure it kissed the ground again, meanwhile your other foot is left to hold you up all on its lonesome. Jason liked walking, he walked while he thought, it was as if his legs where feeling left out by the pace of his brain and decided to join in. Today Jason had a lot to think about, it was the day before his big English literature exam and he had studied so hard that everything has gone out the other side! His Mother came into his room (or as she called it his ‘’sty’’) and practically demanded he go for a walk and get some air. Really, Jason suspected, she only saw a chance to finally get the hoover in there.
Jason wore a pair of old leather walking boots and denim jeans with a top that was a simple button up which was grey and unassuming. Jason liked simple, when he looks at all the bright clashing modern clothes they make his head spin. So after a quick shower and putting a comb through his auburn hair he was off to the park. While the park was never exactly calm there was a natural serenity and mysticism about the ancient woodland. He spent his childhood hearing stories about the Dainty Folk of the wood, of the goblins that take naughty children and of the banquets of the teddy bears. Irish teddy bears are more extravagant then English ones you see, why go for a picnic when you can have a feast? Well Jason didn’t believe in all that, he’d grown out of it years ago but he always felt the park was alive more than any other place he knew.
While walking down a well-trodden path encroached by ancient trees Jason was running through his mental notes. His opinion on Silvia Plath’s poems, apart from them being depressing of course, and the connotations of Shakespeare’s sonnets hung heavy on his mind. While he thought his feet kept up a rhythmic pace, leading him deeper into the forest. Jason stopped; he had seemed to have met a natural shift. The trees were much older here, no birds sang and the only noise perpetrating the silence was the quite words of the babbling brook. Unperturbed, Jason walked on, his thoughts racing off as his feet did.
Jason was engrossed in his own head now; each thought branching out into a tree, each tree he hoped bares the fruit of answers. Jason wawas so distracted he never noticed a small green leg emerge from a tree trunk that hovered in front of his path. He never noticed his legs hitting the smaller leg until his nose was a second away from hitting the floor. Jason fell with a heavy thump and as his feet stopped, his thoughts also drifted away from him.
You can imagine Jason’s surprise to awaken to a shrill shouting ‘’Wakey Wakey!’’ straight down his ear. Small gouts of hot breath were wafting onto his face and a smell of brandy pickled his nose. Jason hefted his face out of the dirt to the apparent dismay of the voice, which was shouting extremely inventive obscenities at him for some reason. Jason’s head stopped spinning long enough for him to force himself to sit up but was further shocked into awakening by a sharp sting of pain on his head. Someone, scratch that, something was pulling his hair. The shrill voice was heartily laughing at Jason’s attempts to grab at his tormentor, but then whatever it was lost his footing on Jason’s head and tumbled down onto his lap. Jason stared wide eyed and open mouthed at what could only be a Leprechaun! He (Well, it smelt like a he) was a small humanoid figure only about 30 cm’s tall, dressed in green overalls and a green greatcoat over a scruffy stained white shirt. The Leprechaun stood up defiantly and brushed of non-existent dust of his jacket before looking at Jason.
The figure waited, tapping his feet until he gruffed ‘’Trying to catch flies are we?’’ and laughed at his own wit.
Jason tried to compute what he was seeing, and managed to stammer out ‘’Am I…dreaming’’.
This got another chuckle off the small figure before he bellowed ‘’I got a pretty face, boy, but I hope I’m not dream material!’’
Jason, regaining some of his own wit manages to ask ‘’Are you a Leprechaun?’’
To which he replies, plain and simply ‘’Yes, Are you an idiot?’’
Astounded, Jason said, as much to himself as to the figure standing on his lap ‘’But they’re not real, your impossible!’’
In reply the Leprechaun stomps hard on Jason’s crotch, almost doubling him over in pain.
‘‘Is that real enough for Ya!’’
Jason manages to puff out ‘’Yeah, got it, Leprechaun. While I’m dreaming I might as well play along. What do you want?’’
The Leprechaun Smiled, showing crooked golden teeth and bellows across the forest ‘’I want a challenge!’’
The diminutive figure jumps off of Jason and lands in the foliage on the forest floor. The fallen leaves where fully up to his knees. The Leprechaun puffed out his chest. ‘’I challenge you, Jason Chester, to a test of wit.’’
Jason, now convinced he was imagining things but unable to think why his brain would come up with such an annoying dream asks ‘’Why me? Don’t you have some gold to steal? Treasure to horde or something?’’
The Leprechaun shoots Jason a dirty look before hiding it behind a convincing smile ‘’Why? It’s because I’m bored and your here. Does a Leprechaun need a better reason than that?’’
Jason Follows up with ‘’Well, yeah, but I doubt my sub-conscious can come up with one so I’ll take it’’ as he thought aloud.
’’Speak English point-dexter, or you won’t win the prize.’’ The Leprechaun made a theatrical hand gesture at the word and flashed his golden, if crooked, teeth. This has promise, though Jason.
‘’Prize? What prize?’’ Jason asks inquisitively, as if only now now he’d taken an interest.
‘’You’d try win my Shamrock of course. Granting good luck ever after’’ the Leprechaun chuckled, as if amused by his new play things ignorance.
‘’Well we better get started, riddle time! How can a man go for 8 days without sleep?’’
Jason thinks maybe the apparition will go away and let him wake up after he had completed this pointless game so he decides to think on it. ’’Well its simple isn’t it; he would only sleep at night.’’
The leprechauns features light up ‘’Correct, I may of underestimated you. There is a family of a mother, father and 4 daughters and each daughter has a brother. How many in the family?’’
Jason liked math, and this was the simplest kind. ‘’10, mom dad and 8 kids’’ Jason said smugly.
‘’WRONG, 7, there is only 1 brother, who is brother to all the sisters. I bid you good night, I cannot tolerate idiots’’ The Leprechaun turns on the heel and begins to walk away.
‘’WAIT!’’
Jason doesn't like losing, never has, never will and he will be dammed if he loses to his own dream! ‘’This is unfair, how come you get to ask all the questions?!’’
The Leprechaun looked genuinely shocked to be contradicted at his own game, but for the life of him couldn't come up with an answer.
‘’If I ask you a riddle and you don’t get it right, I win BUT if you do get it right you can walk away knowing your smarter than me.’’
Jason felt he played his man, well, Leprechaun right as he saw him puff up his little chest, ‘’Fine, ask away little man’’
Jason suppressed a snigger at the obviously unknown irony as he searched through his thoughts for the hardest riddle he knew, and then it came to him.
‘’If a chicken says all chickens are liars, is that chicken telling the truth?’’ The Leprechaun looked stumped, playing it out in his head.
‘’Yes, because he can’t be telling the truth, but he can be lying’’ The Leprechaun swivels on the heel once more and prepares to walks off.
‘’WRONG’’
The Leprechaun looks back incredulous, ‘’How, there can be no other answer!’’
‘’Chickens can’t talk; now who’s dumb? I win!’’ Jason retorted, victory sounding in his ears.
‘’But, But...that’s cheating, the Leprechauns eyes where now bulging.
Jason kept his cool, determined to play the man to the end ‘’I didn’t hear any rules, as you fail to set any. That means I win little man and now I can go!’’ Jason put an almost cruel emphasis on the words Little and Man.
‘’Fine leave, I didn’t like you anyway!’’ the Leprechaun said in a juvenile mocking way, failing to hide the dismay in his eyes. The Leprechaun walked away, and with his back to Jason, clicked his finger above his head. The sound vibrated around the clearing, until it enveloped Jason’s senses and he closed his eyes to shut it out.
Jason woke up. He was back on the normal, well-trodden path way with a new found nasty headache. Jason lets out a sigh; it was just a dream after all. Jason looks back to see a root up lifted in the middle of the path. That must have been what tripped him. At any rate, Jason felt he had enough of fresh air for today and would like to go back home.
Jason walked home without any further supernatural meetings and finds the door opening for him. His mother beaming out ‘’That was a long walk, have fun?’’
‘’It was…interesting’’ Jason replied cryptically.
‘’Oh, look at that!’’ Jason’s mother says as she reaches for Jason’s head. Her deft hands plucked a four leaved clover, or Shamrock as they are known in Ireland, from Jason’s hair.
''People say that's very lucky you know’’ she said before hugging Jason and returning in-doors to attend to a beeping from the kitchen.
Jason stared at the Shamrock his mother left in the palm of his hand. He could faintly hear a familiar shrill laughter ringing in his ear. Jason shivered, placed the Shamrock in his pocket and retreated back to his bed room.
The exam was still tomorrow, he could use all the luck he can get.
Anyhow I would love it if any of you could read it and tell me what you think. This is the first short story I wrote outside of school so I would also ask if you could pick up on any grammar mistakes I made, I have quite bad dyslexia and a tendency to use big words, problems usually arise :whoops: Here goes nothing!
==================***************==================
Walking is controlled falling. Wrestling one foot off the ground and trusting gravity to make sure it kissed the ground again, meanwhile your other foot is left to hold you up all on its lonesome. Jason liked walking, he walked while he thought, it was as if his legs where feeling left out by the pace of his brain and decided to join in. Today Jason had a lot to think about, it was the day before his big English literature exam and he had studied so hard that everything has gone out the other side! His Mother came into his room (or as she called it his ‘’sty’’) and practically demanded he go for a walk and get some air. Really, Jason suspected, she only saw a chance to finally get the hoover in there.
Jason wore a pair of old leather walking boots and denim jeans with a top that was a simple button up which was grey and unassuming. Jason liked simple, when he looks at all the bright clashing modern clothes they make his head spin. So after a quick shower and putting a comb through his auburn hair he was off to the park. While the park was never exactly calm there was a natural serenity and mysticism about the ancient woodland. He spent his childhood hearing stories about the Dainty Folk of the wood, of the goblins that take naughty children and of the banquets of the teddy bears. Irish teddy bears are more extravagant then English ones you see, why go for a picnic when you can have a feast? Well Jason didn’t believe in all that, he’d grown out of it years ago but he always felt the park was alive more than any other place he knew.
While walking down a well-trodden path encroached by ancient trees Jason was running through his mental notes. His opinion on Silvia Plath’s poems, apart from them being depressing of course, and the connotations of Shakespeare’s sonnets hung heavy on his mind. While he thought his feet kept up a rhythmic pace, leading him deeper into the forest. Jason stopped; he had seemed to have met a natural shift. The trees were much older here, no birds sang and the only noise perpetrating the silence was the quite words of the babbling brook. Unperturbed, Jason walked on, his thoughts racing off as his feet did.
Jason was engrossed in his own head now; each thought branching out into a tree, each tree he hoped bares the fruit of answers. Jason wawas so distracted he never noticed a small green leg emerge from a tree trunk that hovered in front of his path. He never noticed his legs hitting the smaller leg until his nose was a second away from hitting the floor. Jason fell with a heavy thump and as his feet stopped, his thoughts also drifted away from him.
You can imagine Jason’s surprise to awaken to a shrill shouting ‘’Wakey Wakey!’’ straight down his ear. Small gouts of hot breath were wafting onto his face and a smell of brandy pickled his nose. Jason hefted his face out of the dirt to the apparent dismay of the voice, which was shouting extremely inventive obscenities at him for some reason. Jason’s head stopped spinning long enough for him to force himself to sit up but was further shocked into awakening by a sharp sting of pain on his head. Someone, scratch that, something was pulling his hair. The shrill voice was heartily laughing at Jason’s attempts to grab at his tormentor, but then whatever it was lost his footing on Jason’s head and tumbled down onto his lap. Jason stared wide eyed and open mouthed at what could only be a Leprechaun! He (Well, it smelt like a he) was a small humanoid figure only about 30 cm’s tall, dressed in green overalls and a green greatcoat over a scruffy stained white shirt. The Leprechaun stood up defiantly and brushed of non-existent dust of his jacket before looking at Jason.
The figure waited, tapping his feet until he gruffed ‘’Trying to catch flies are we?’’ and laughed at his own wit.
Jason tried to compute what he was seeing, and managed to stammer out ‘’Am I…dreaming’’.
This got another chuckle off the small figure before he bellowed ‘’I got a pretty face, boy, but I hope I’m not dream material!’’
Jason, regaining some of his own wit manages to ask ‘’Are you a Leprechaun?’’
To which he replies, plain and simply ‘’Yes, Are you an idiot?’’
Astounded, Jason said, as much to himself as to the figure standing on his lap ‘’But they’re not real, your impossible!’’
In reply the Leprechaun stomps hard on Jason’s crotch, almost doubling him over in pain.
‘‘Is that real enough for Ya!’’
Jason manages to puff out ‘’Yeah, got it, Leprechaun. While I’m dreaming I might as well play along. What do you want?’’
The Leprechaun Smiled, showing crooked golden teeth and bellows across the forest ‘’I want a challenge!’’
The diminutive figure jumps off of Jason and lands in the foliage on the forest floor. The fallen leaves where fully up to his knees. The Leprechaun puffed out his chest. ‘’I challenge you, Jason Chester, to a test of wit.’’
Jason, now convinced he was imagining things but unable to think why his brain would come up with such an annoying dream asks ‘’Why me? Don’t you have some gold to steal? Treasure to horde or something?’’
The Leprechaun shoots Jason a dirty look before hiding it behind a convincing smile ‘’Why? It’s because I’m bored and your here. Does a Leprechaun need a better reason than that?’’
Jason Follows up with ‘’Well, yeah, but I doubt my sub-conscious can come up with one so I’ll take it’’ as he thought aloud.
’’Speak English point-dexter, or you won’t win the prize.’’ The Leprechaun made a theatrical hand gesture at the word and flashed his golden, if crooked, teeth. This has promise, though Jason.
‘’Prize? What prize?’’ Jason asks inquisitively, as if only now now he’d taken an interest.
‘’You’d try win my Shamrock of course. Granting good luck ever after’’ the Leprechaun chuckled, as if amused by his new play things ignorance.
‘’Well we better get started, riddle time! How can a man go for 8 days without sleep?’’
Jason thinks maybe the apparition will go away and let him wake up after he had completed this pointless game so he decides to think on it. ’’Well its simple isn’t it; he would only sleep at night.’’
The leprechauns features light up ‘’Correct, I may of underestimated you. There is a family of a mother, father and 4 daughters and each daughter has a brother. How many in the family?’’
Jason liked math, and this was the simplest kind. ‘’10, mom dad and 8 kids’’ Jason said smugly.
‘’WRONG, 7, there is only 1 brother, who is brother to all the sisters. I bid you good night, I cannot tolerate idiots’’ The Leprechaun turns on the heel and begins to walk away.
‘’WAIT!’’
Jason doesn't like losing, never has, never will and he will be dammed if he loses to his own dream! ‘’This is unfair, how come you get to ask all the questions?!’’
The Leprechaun looked genuinely shocked to be contradicted at his own game, but for the life of him couldn't come up with an answer.
‘’If I ask you a riddle and you don’t get it right, I win BUT if you do get it right you can walk away knowing your smarter than me.’’
Jason felt he played his man, well, Leprechaun right as he saw him puff up his little chest, ‘’Fine, ask away little man’’
Jason suppressed a snigger at the obviously unknown irony as he searched through his thoughts for the hardest riddle he knew, and then it came to him.
‘’If a chicken says all chickens are liars, is that chicken telling the truth?’’ The Leprechaun looked stumped, playing it out in his head.
‘’Yes, because he can’t be telling the truth, but he can be lying’’ The Leprechaun swivels on the heel once more and prepares to walks off.
‘’WRONG’’
The Leprechaun looks back incredulous, ‘’How, there can be no other answer!’’
‘’Chickens can’t talk; now who’s dumb? I win!’’ Jason retorted, victory sounding in his ears.
‘’But, But...that’s cheating, the Leprechauns eyes where now bulging.
Jason kept his cool, determined to play the man to the end ‘’I didn’t hear any rules, as you fail to set any. That means I win little man and now I can go!’’ Jason put an almost cruel emphasis on the words Little and Man.
‘’Fine leave, I didn’t like you anyway!’’ the Leprechaun said in a juvenile mocking way, failing to hide the dismay in his eyes. The Leprechaun walked away, and with his back to Jason, clicked his finger above his head. The sound vibrated around the clearing, until it enveloped Jason’s senses and he closed his eyes to shut it out.
Jason woke up. He was back on the normal, well-trodden path way with a new found nasty headache. Jason lets out a sigh; it was just a dream after all. Jason looks back to see a root up lifted in the middle of the path. That must have been what tripped him. At any rate, Jason felt he had enough of fresh air for today and would like to go back home.
Jason walked home without any further supernatural meetings and finds the door opening for him. His mother beaming out ‘’That was a long walk, have fun?’’
‘’It was…interesting’’ Jason replied cryptically.
‘’Oh, look at that!’’ Jason’s mother says as she reaches for Jason’s head. Her deft hands plucked a four leaved clover, or Shamrock as they are known in Ireland, from Jason’s hair.
''People say that's very lucky you know’’ she said before hugging Jason and returning in-doors to attend to a beeping from the kitchen.
Jason stared at the Shamrock his mother left in the palm of his hand. He could faintly hear a familiar shrill laughter ringing in his ear. Jason shivered, placed the Shamrock in his pocket and retreated back to his bed room.
The exam was still tomorrow, he could use all the luck he can get.