I feel like nobody understands...

[Etcetera]

I know this is going to fall under a lot of categories, but I'm just gonna put it here.

I'm hurting very badly, and I feel like nobody understands or cares.

I have a story a mile long, and there's a lot that I've held in. I've really been through a lot.

I'm adopted, I was abused, physically, sexually, and mentally, and neglected. I have PTSD from that along with a whole other long list of health problems. I've been bullied non-stop since 2nd grade. At first it was just at school but then it began online too. My freshman year, a bully assaulted me. She told me the night before that she was going to do it, and I told two teachers that day and they did nothing.

She attacked me at class change, running up behind me and attacking my head (she knew I have epilepsy.) She was punching my head full force (she's a pretty strong girl) and had me pinned against the wall, so not only was she hitting my head, she was causing it to hit the brick wall with every hit. I was aware of the first few hits, but then it sent me into a seizure and I blacked out having the seizure, and she continued hitting me. I ended up in the hospital, and it's still effecting my health in many ways today. They told me it took four full grown men teachers who were coaches to pull her off of me.

I have so much bothering me. I've been cutting since 7th grade, and in 10th I started to starve myself as well.

It's been a really long road for me, and nobody understands. They just label me as stuff when they don't even know what I've been through or am going through.

[Sandra Main]

I'm so sorry for what has happened to you in life. Nobody and i mean nobody deserves to be treated as you were.I'm so lost for words that i domt know how to help you. All i can do is give you words of encouragement. I hope you find the help you so much deserve to go on and find a happier life.
My words to you may not help and probaby already heard them before but you can take the my words of encouragement and go on for that is all i can do cause i have no advice that i can give.
Again I'm so sorru this had happened wishing i could do more.
I feel saddened to learn of abuse and sorrow.

[Josef_]

I know this is going to fall under a lot of categories, but I'm just gonna put it here.

I'm hurting very badly, and I feel like nobody understands or cares.

I have a story a mile long, and there's a lot that I've held in. I've really been through a lot.

I'm adopted, I was abused, physically, sexually, and mentally, and neglected. I have PTSD from that along with a whole other long list of health problems. I've been bullied non-stop since 2nd grade. At first it was just at school but then it began online too. My freshman year, a bully assaulted me. She told me the night before that she was going to do it, and I told two teachers that day and they did nothing.

She attacked me at class change, running up behind me and attacking my head (she knew I have epilepsy.) She was punching my head full force (she's a pretty strong girl) and had me pinned against the wall, so not only was she hitting my head, she was causing it to hit the brick wall with every hit. I was aware of the first few hits, but then it sent me into a seizure and I blacked out having the seizure, and she continued hitting me. I ended up in the hospital, and it's still effecting my health in many ways today. They told me it took four full grown men teachers who were coaches to pull her off of me.

I have so much bothering me. I've been cutting since 7th grade, and in 10th I started to starve myself as well.

It's been a really long road for me, and nobody understands. They just label me as stuff when they don't even know what I've been through or am going through.

Well here at VT we won't label you. We'll help you in any way possible.

We understand what you're going through. Lot's of people are going through/have gone through similar situations in there life. And no one deserves what you have gone through as a child. You should read through some of the posts on this section. They're quite saddening. But trust me, people understand. We're here to help.

I'll check back here in an hour. Going out to eat.

[Etcetera]

It's hard. So hard. And nobody will listen, and quite frankly if I tell anyone my story they don't believe me because it's so far outside of the realms of normality. I'm very depressed, I have been for a long time.

[Josef_]

It's hard. So hard. And nobody will listen, and quite frankly if I tell anyone my story they don't believe me because it's so far outside of the realms of normality. I'm very depressed, I have been for a long time.

Sometimes that's what happens when you hide your pain far too well. People are going to think you're lying. There is really no good way to express it to them that you're not lying after all. I'm sorry this is the way you feel.

I can listen to you if you'd like. Is there a preferred way of communication you'd like to use?

[Etcetera]

This is really long, but this is my story. Maybe if you read it, you'll have something to say.. maybe not. Idk. Most people are either speechless or don't believe me.

https://www.inspire.com/bandgeek7350/journal/me-105/

[Josef_]

This is really long, but this is my story. Maybe if you read it, you'll have something to say.. maybe not. Idk. Most people are either speechless or don't believe me.

https://www.inspire.com/bandgeek7350/journal/me-105/

Thank you for sharing.

You're truly a wonderful person, and for carrying on for as much as you have, I'm very proud.

Your story was so touching to me. I really am at a loss for words. It's so powerful. I don't think you'd lie about something like this. I truly understand the pain you're going through.

Aside from all the bullies in your life and all the things you had to go through in high school / still are going through, you'll be a stronger person because of it. It's okay to say that you feel like that helping others isn't something you can manage when you have so much on your plate already, that is perfectly fine. Heck, I'm not so good at helping people either but I enjoy it. It empowers me to carry on when times are rough. This inspiring story is truly one of the best I have ever read.

And I believe every word of it.

All the emotional strife it must've taken to make this. To reflect on your past. It's so cold. I'm so happy you've made it through that. I didn't really think I'd ever want to make such long messages on this forum, but this is completely worth it. You're worth it. And you know, those people who bullied you? I know this may be hard to understand, but they are taunting you about a mental illness that you cannot control! And if they find it funny you cannot control if they do or not. You don't have to stand up for yourself if you yourself know what is right.

With all my heart I hope you're doing okay now. Have you considered posting this in the Inspiring/Uplifting stories section? You might just be able to help others by telling them your story.

Realize what kind of person you are! You're strong for what you've made it through. And what you're going through. You're allergies and the bullying and whatnot. Allergies are something you yourself cannot control (sadly). That will always be something upsetting. I'm sorry. I don't know how I can make you feel better there.

[Etcetera]

Yeah writing that was sort of a vent too, it helped to get it out.

Last week on friday I finally told the nurse that I had been cutting since 7th grade. They sent me to a recovery center and now I'm going to get some counseling. It was the first time I had told anyone about cutting. They knew about me being suicidal but not the cutting. They're also supposed to be putting me on some medicine soon.

[Josef_]

Yeah writing that was sort of a vent too, it helped to get it out.

Last week on friday I finally told the nurse that I had been cutting since 7th grade. They sent me to a recovery center and now I'm going to get some counseling. It was the first time I had told anyone about cutting. They knew about me being suicidal but not the cutting. They're also supposed to be putting me on some medicine soon.

How do you feel about that?

[RavleIncarnate]

If you need some muaical support, here's my motivatio list

Skyscraper demi lovato
People like us kelly clarkson
Dark side kelly clarkson
Stronger kelly clarkson
Part of me katy perry
La la la naughty boy ft sam smith

I don't know if it will, I always drown my sorrows in music, I get bullied too cuz people think I'm goth because of the permanent dark bags under my eyes and my fascination with black and purple and death. I'm introvertive and I understand what you're going through a little bit. If you want any support pm me or my advisive staff siobhan. She's help me a bit along with the music to get me out of my own pitfall trap of morbid fascination. And problems.

[Etcetera]

How do you feel about that?

About what? Telling them, meds, or counseling?

I was on medicines awhile back, but they had to take me off of it because it increased my seizure activity significantly.

My PSTD is really contributing to a lot of this. It's something I cannot deal with on my own, so I think counseling will help me with that.

[Josef_]

About what? Telling them, meds, or counseling?

I was on medicines awhile back, but they had to take me off of it because it increased my seizure activity significantly.

My PSTD is really contributing to a lot of this. It's something I cannot deal with on my own, so I think counseling will help me with that.

Telling them.

[ksdnfkfr]

Yeah writing that was sort of a vent too, it helped to get it out.

Last week on friday I finally told the nurse that I had been cutting since 7th grade. They sent me to a recovery center and now I'm going to get some counseling. It was the first time I had told anyone about cutting. They knew about me being suicidal but not the cutting. They're also supposed to be putting me on some medicine soon.

You should have been in counseling a long time ago.
It has helped me so much. I was on meds for a while too -
but the counseling is what has helped me the most.

[Etcetera]

Telling them.

Idunno. At first I was upset.

Here's how it happened. I have a pretty good relationship with the school nurse for obvious reasons. But that thursday night I had planned to tell my parents, but then my mom found that my brother had the blade off of a pencil sharpener and was cutting a bar of soap with it in his bathroom (idk why, he's nine,) and I thought ehh not a good time to tell her because they yelled at him for it... but I knew I had to tell someone. So I talked to the nurse on friday morning bc I knew she would listen, and she said she had to call my parents. So she called my parents and mom was busy so dad had to leave his meeting and come get me. Dad is a pastor.. so I'm like uh oh he's gonna be mad. He didn't talk to me the whole ride to the recovery center or after that so I was afraid he was mad at me. He saw the cuts at the school, because the nurse told me to show him my arm.

They didn't talk to me, they haven't really talked to me about it. So at first I was like maybe I shouldn't have told, but inside I know I did the right thing.

[Etcetera]

You should have been in counseling a long time ago.
It has helped me so much. I was on meds for a while too -
but the counseling is what has helped me the most.

I was, but then we moved, and medicaid wouldn't cover for me to see her anymore. And my parents didn't think I needed to continue. I was going to her for 5 years..

[Josef_]

Idunno. At first I was upset.

Here's how it happened. I have a pretty good relationship with the school nurse for obvious reasons. But that thursday night I had planned to tell my parents, but then my mom found that my brother had the blade off of a pencil sharpener and was cutting a bar of soap with it in his bathroom (idk why, he's nine,) and I thought ehh not a good time to tell her because they yelled at him for it... but I knew I had to tell someone. So I talked to the nurse on friday morning bc I knew she would listen, and she said she had to call my parents. So she called my parents and mom was busy so dad had to leave his meeting and come get me. Dad is a pastor.. so I'm like uh oh he's gonna be mad. He didn't talk to me the whole ride to the recovery center or after that so I was afraid he was mad at me. He saw the cuts at the school, because the nurse told me to show him my arm.

They didn't talk to me, they haven't really talked to me about it. So at first I was like maybe I shouldn't have told, but inside I know I did the right thing.

Well I'm glad you were confident in telling someone. That always helps I suppose.

Your dad is a pastor! Well. I didn't expect that. Does he still not like you in a sense? Like from when you were 6? Is he still that way?

[Etcetera]

Well I'm glad you were confident in telling someone. That always helps I suppose.

Your dad is a pastor! Well. I didn't expect that. Does he still not like you in a sense? Like from when you were 6? Is he still that way?

Oh no no no no.

I'm adopted now, my new dad is a pastor. The one who abused me, I have not seen since I was 6. But, because I'm adopted I don't really get along with my new dad either. He doesn't understand what I'm experiencing and he doesn't try to understand either.

[Josef_]

Oh no no no no.

I'm adopted now, my new dad is a pastor. The one who abused me, I have not seen since I was 6. But, because I'm adopted I don't really get along with my new dad either. He doesn't understand what I'm experiencing and he doesn't try to understand either.

My fault. I'm sleepy haha.

So does anyone in this family try to help you? Or at least care to understand?

[Etcetera]

My fault. I'm sleepy haha.

So does anyone in this family try to help you? Or at least care to understand?


Ahh, not really. I mean they think they understand but they really don't.

I'll be 18 in July, then I'm leaving. But, to be honest idk how I'm gonna last till then. I'm falling apart and nobody cares.

[The Trendy Wolf]

Ahh, not really. I mean they think they understand but they really don't.

I'll be 18 in July, then I'm leaving. But, to be honest idk how I'm gonna last till then. I'm falling apart and nobody cares.

They cannot understand you, and nobody besides yourself can truly understand. They can't force themselves to understand your emotions and feelings because they are unique to you, so all they can do is try their best to help you.

I honestly do care that you are in such emotional pain, and despite the fact that I cannot fully understand what you really feel I do want to help you through it all. I wish to encourage and support you because I know that you're under such stress.

Remember that nobody has the right to judge you because they don't know what you are going through and how you are suffering.

Things will get better.

[Grace.Bolay]

I know exactly how you feel.