Log in

View Full Version : Problem With Girlfriends Parents.


Sunny But Cold
February 11th, 2008, 11:39 AM
Well, let me tell you the back story. We've been dating for quite a while now. I really haven't met her parents. Well, her mom works at the same place as I do. Or should I say I work at the same place she does, anyways, that doesn't matter. Yeah, so, her dad is rather controlling. She's 17, now, you would think that a 17 year old would have alot more freedom then she does have. She's not allowed to do things on school nights, and if she does, she has to be in by 9. Speaking of which, this Thursday (Valentines Day), we're not even allowed to go out, we have to wait until Friday. Okay so back to my story.

Anyways, about a month ago, she had called me, and we were on the phone for about an hour (Her phone is dumb and only lasts about an hour if it's fully charged), so after we hung up, she messaged my cell phone and asked me if she'd be able to see me. We ended up agreeing on that I'd go over there and we'd just hang out outside and talk. So we did, but it was like 2 in the morning. Since her parents don't let us see eachother whenever we want. We have to do things like that. So, we were outside for about 25 minutes just talking and what not. And then we see the outside light turn on. And then the door open. And sure enough, it's her dad. He freaked out. He yelled and told her to get her ass inside and that we shouldnt start this "shit" at 3 in the morning.

So, I get home, and then the phone rings. I answer, and she is on the phone fully in tears. She's crying non stop, of course, I ask her what's wrong. She tells me that she got yelled at and he hit her across the head and lightly punched her in the chest. To make a long story short, I told her she needed to get out of there. But she didn't want to. Because she was afraid of what he would do after he found out she left. We talked on the phone for about a half hour more and then it started to die. And I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just go over there, she couldn't just leave. It really sucked. So we ended up constantly messaging eachother back and fourth. I was trying to convince her to leave because she didn't need anymore of this shit to happen. But, She said she had to stay and that it would be a bad idea if she left because he knew where she'd go and what not.

Now, a few weeks later. I found out that he hit her again. I was pissed off. But, I can't do anything. I don't know what to do. This guy is a prick. She hates him, he's a really controlling guy. I mean, how are you supposed to eventually trust someone if you're not letting them out doing stuff that they want to do? I can understand at the being home around 9 part. On a school night, but, I don't understand why he cannot just let her be, and live her life. He knows that we both really care for eachother, and that I wouldn't do anything to hurt her. Hell, I can't even yell at her without laughing afterwards, and I can't even hit her, trust me, i've tried while we were screwing around. But, I wouldn't actually hit her.

And now I picked her up after work the other night, and since we don't get to see eachother all that often, we were in the car for about 10 minutes after I got to her house. She got inside, and he decided to hit her on the arm saying that i'm not allowed to pick her up anymore because we spend too much time in the car after we get to her house. It's really frustrating. And I have no idea what to do. She won't leave because she is afraid of what her dad will do to her brothers and sister if she does leave. And she's there to protect them.

I know it's a long read, but thanks.

byee
February 11th, 2008, 11:59 AM
This story reminds me that the single most important thing that can happen to anyone, the thing that matters absolutely the most, the thing that has the greatest impact on who we are and what we become is also the thing that we have absolutely no control over. Who we're born to.

Your girlfriend, unfortunately, has been born into a very rigid, unyielding, non supportive, non understanding, and perhaps, very selfish family. This is truly unfortunate for her, and, by extention, you too.

It's not right that he has these unilaterally derived rules and that he enforces them as rigidly and harshly as he does, and it's certainly not right that he hits her as a response to her non compliance.

However, since you both know the rules (and the consequences for infractions), I have to really question both of your decision to violate them. They're not right, mind you, but blatant disregard for them is asking for trouble. This is not the kind of guy you want to provoke at 3AM on the porch.

Sometimes maturity and wisdom mean recognizing what you're dealing with and modifying your behavior accordingly, rather than disregarding it because it is unresonable. Maybe you can encourage her to talk with him (and her mom) about those rules and work within the family structure to maybe/hopefully modify them. Absent that, it might be best here to keep it within the lines.

Sunny But Cold
February 11th, 2008, 03:31 PM
Hey, thanks for the response. But, when we had met up at that time, this was early on and we didn't really know what he would do. We had done it twice before, and this was the first time he caught us, i guess. But, She never even thought that he would freak out. She never thought he was like that. But, apparently he is. Anyways, thanks though. I have tried talking to her about talking to them, and she has once, but, after all that that happens, she doesn't want to because she just can't talk to her parents whenever she wants. Especially after all the stuff that he has done to her. You know?

silentc0re
April 15th, 2008, 12:37 PM
Sunny shes 17 dude just wait till shes 18 and try to get her to move in with you and the father if it was up to me if he hit her i would be there first get her in your car then go to him and get in his face and say "Pick on someone your size" if he hits you you better fight!!!
but thats just my opinion and remember anyone that hits a woman is not a man he is a animal please tell me how it works out.

Serenity
April 15th, 2008, 09:10 PM
Please don't bump old threads.

:locked: