Best friend acting weird around me

[WrthPanda]

Okay I have this friend, which has been my best friend for, well what seems like forever. We're both dudes, same age, and known each other from birth.
We always been much closer than any of our other friends, both fysical and physical. Always sitting way too close, often leaning against each other, and all that stuff.
But lately, started last year I think, he has all of a sudden become very protective when it comes to personal space, which I do find weird. Mostly because we always been so physical, and that always kind of been our thing, our flow you know.
But now, if I as much as bump or brush into him (physical) he gets upset, and I think it's so frustrating that he changed so much, all of a sudden. Some days ago he even yelled at me, because our hands had touched in public, so what?!
I really do not get him, we still hold unusually long eye contact for being guys. I know because it would make me feel uncomfortable if I had to hold eye contact that long with someone else, even family, but with him it's different, I think. We have even shared some intimate moment in the past, which we both pretend were by accident, so he won't talk about it.
But the thing that confuses me the most, and make me pondering is the fact that frequently, when we are alone, just the two of us, he always find excuses or ways to being close physical. Touching, but always make it seem like it was an accident, telling me how sorry he is, even thought I tell him that I do not mind.
The irony is that he could sit close to me, giving me all these mixed signals, while he act ridiculously homophobic and bash gay people. But the change in his personal space, were he now would flinch if I touch him, or make it seem like an accident, all started after he confessed that he never really had "hated" gays. So I do not know what to think, he does not mind if anyone else, even dudes get close to his personal space in public, just me. It's like "what would people think if they see us, and all that stuff", he even mention it... I do not know if it has anything with our parents, which I knew clearly do not like gays, because of religious reasons and all that stuff.
So I guess what I'm asking, why does he act so weird? Does he like me like me, or what? Please help, I've become a confused little panda....

[Miri]

Hey! I read your post on the other thread, but I am going to reply here.

Teenagers can be very judgemental, so he's probably worried about being judged by others. What he may be comfortable doing only around you, be doesn't feel comfortable doing around others because he's worried about "fitting in", and he knows that you won't judge him. He could also be worried about his family, or he may just not be interested in you, and your apparent interest in him is genuinely making him uncomfortable.

Also, he may be confused about his sexuality, or he may not be, and is trying to piece together what to do about it. I wouldn't put too much pressure on him to make decisions as to whether or not he is interested in you, because that's probably what's making him so conflicted in the first place.

[Living For Love]

I totally agree with the poster above. It seems that he's really confused about his sexuality, or maybe because he's now realizing he might not be 100% straight as he would like to be because of you. The close friendship you two had/have made him questioning some things in his life, including his sexuality. It happens, so you don't need to worry about that. You should give him some time, try not to have much physical contact with him for some days, see how he reacts.

[WrthPanda]

I totally agree with the poster above. It seems that he's really confused about his sexuality, or maybe because he's now realizing he might not be 100% straight as he would like to be because of you. The close friendship you two had/have made him questioning some things in his life, including his sexuality. It happens, so you don't need to worry about that. You should give him some time, try not to have much physical contact with him for some days, see how he reacts.

Yeah, I think you're both are on to something, really appreciate all help I can get :) And when it comes to trying to avoid physical contact for some days, we had a period afterward where I ignored him for some time, and he got really mad at me for avoiding him. We are friends again now, but I had to promise him to never freeze him out like that again, because it was upsetting him. So what do you guys think that means? Are that regular behavior in a platonic friendship?

[Living For Love]

Yeah, I think you're both are on to something, really appreciate all help I can get :) And when it comes to trying to avoid physical contact for some days, we had a period afterward where I ignored him for some time, and he got really mad at me for avoiding him. We are friends again now, but I had to promise him to never freeze him out like that again, because it was upsetting him. So what do you guys think that means? Are that regular behavior in a platonic friendship?

Avoiding physical contact doesn't mean ignoring him totally. Act normally like best friends, just without much physical contact. If he got mad at you for freezing him out for a long time, it means he still wants you around. I suddenly remembered something: when you're talking with him, face to face, you could subtly talk about your female friend, saying something about her, in context, and see his reaction. If you notice he kinda gets a bit jealous, that could definitely mean something. Tread carefully, make him feel confortable around you, try to earn his trust again.

[WrthPanda]

Avoiding physical contact doesn't mean ignoring him totally. Act normally like best friends, just without much physical contact. If he got mad at you for freezing him out for a long time, it means he still wants you around. I suddenly remembered something: when you're talking with him, face to face, you could subtly talk about your female friend, saying something about her, in context, and see his reaction. If you notice he kinda gets a bit jealous, that could definitely mean something. Tread carefully, make him feel confortable around you, try to earn his trust again.

I do have a female friend, which he constantly mock me about. So I do have a feeling she is not his favorite subject at hand, unless the times he mention her to get back at me. But actually never tried to analyse his face when she's mentioned, so I gonna try that one out for sure.

[sqishy]

I do have a female friend, which he constantly mock me about. So I do have a feeling she is not his favorite subject at hand, unless the times he mention her to get back at me. But actually never tried to analyse his face when she's mentioned, so I gonna try that one out for sure.

I agree with the others. He might be thinking of and is in confrontation with his sexuality. Seeing his reaction to your female friend might make things more clear.
Letting him know that you are there if he is having problems, in a bad mood etc could help, even if you give the message subtly. He could be going through a hard time; hard times sometimes means that more change is happening than the person can take.

Hope this helps.

[WrthPanda]

I agree with the others. He might be thinking of and is in confrontation with his sexuality. Seeing his reaction to your female friend might make things more clear.
Letting him know that you are there if he is having problems, in a bad mood etc could help, even if you give the message subtly. He could be going through a hard time; hard times sometimes means that more change is happening than the person can take.

Hope this helps.

Thank I think you guys have give me some of the pieces in all of this mess. To clear things, we are still best friends, and I am pretty sure that he trust me, at least enough to tell me any sensible information that does not revolve around his sexuality.
But as I wrote in the main thread, he seems comfortable enough with physical contact when it comes to other people, even dudes. So why am I so different all of a sudden? It's like a change, and I feel that something about me changed, like I am all of a sudden different from everyone else, or at least the way he sees it.
Haven't I known any better I would though that he had something for me, but afraid of being hurt, due to our family backgrounds. Or he might just have a hard time, but still why am I so different, his childhood best friend???
I wish he just could tell me...

[pjones]

if he is confused about his sexuality, and with parents not open to gays, he could simply be afraid. not sure how old you are but hormones might be part of the reason maybe.
continue to be his friend, he probably needs you even tho he isn't telling you that.

hope everything works out for you guys

[WrthPanda]

if he is confused about his sexuality, and with parents not open to gays, he could simply be afraid. not sure how old you are but hormones might be part of the reason maybe.
continue to be his friend, he probably needs you even tho he isn't telling you that.

hope everything works out for you guys

Sure hope so myself, but one thing am I sure of, I won't leave him, no matter what. After we had our fight/ignoring, I realized how much his friendship meant to me. He turned 20 some days ago, some weeks after me, but I do not know so much about how long hormones can affect things like this. But thanks for your advice :)

[Were]

i guess your bestfriend likes you because according to my experience, a friend of mine(girl) was doing the same and i found out later that she liked me.

[WrthPanda]

i guess your bestfriend likes you because according to my experience, a friend of mine(girl) was doing the same and i found out later that she liked me.

Thanks, good to hear that other as well has been in my shoes, but may I ask you; how did you find out that your friend did like you like you? Should I just give it time?

[Were]

Thanks, good to hear that other as well has been in my shoes, but may I ask you; how did you find out that your friend did like you like you? Should I just give it time?


she started feeling bad when i spent some time with other girls,she would get mad and besides a friend told me too that she told her she liked me and called her "dear honey" when she spoke about me with her but i guess,you spend some time with other boys(not avoiding him) and see his reaction.