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View Full Version : The day after I broke up with my Ex, another boy kisses me and causes confusion


Nonochocobo
December 14th, 2013, 08:18 PM
So yeah, it says in the title.

I basically broke up with my boyfriend of 10 months a few days ago - the reasons behind that are complicated and are to do with the way he was acting towards me. He was treating me like the crap underneath his shoe and taking me for granted, bad mouthed me to all of his friends, cheated on me twice - and even told me at one point that he had no feelings for me before the next day taking it all back. I loved him, but had had enough of the stress.


So I broke up with him.

But, I was talking to his best friend about it the next day while walking with him down my school road - I have been friends with this dude for as long as I had been going out with this boy - and I actually fancied him for a period of a month before the other boy asked me out. I only went out with the boy to get over my feelings for his friend, due to him having a girlfriend at the time. But, now he's a single pringle, just like I am. And as I was talking to him about it, we started to mess around with each other, like tickling, hugging and pushing each other playfully. You could say we were being very playful.

But then, he decides to untie my school tie from my neck, and use it to blindfold me. He was being playful again, so I played up to it and was laughing about it, stumbling about, trying to find him amidst the darkness, due to him walking away from me and asking me to find him without taking the blindfold off. As I was trying to find him however, he walked up to me, and kissed me. This turned into a makeout session.

After this, I feel like my feelings towards this boy are coming back - even after I was with somebody for 10 months. I talked to him about it afterwards, and he told me that he did have "a soft spot" for me - and when I asked if that meant a small crush, he said it did. But then he said that it would be hard for me and him to go into a relationship - due to him being friends with my Ex-boyfriend and everything. I suggested that we do it in secret, and he didn't mind the idea but said it would suck due to having to come up with excuses for everything all the time. So he suggested that we become friends with benefits - except without the sex, and we just meet to act like a boyfriend and a girlfriend do - but still remain as good friends.

I said that we should talk about it in real life and not online - to give me more time to think about it. But, to be honest - I'm not sure if I can just be satisfied with just having a "friends with benefits" relationship with him. I would much rather us have a secret relationship - even though I wish it could be an official one, but I just don't think it will pan out that way due to my Ex still being around. My feelings for him are growing quite strong, and I feel like these strong feelings are one sided compared to his "softspot" feelings he has towards me.

I just, have no idea what to do, and would really appreciate some advice from some nice people?

Pls. <3

lassi
December 14th, 2013, 09:53 PM
Okay I completely agree with you. I wouldn't be satisfied with being "friends with benefits" simply because that doesn't sound very promising. I think If you both really have strong feelings for one another you should just date. From what I understand your ex was very wrong. You shouldn't feel any guilt for dating his friend especially because of the way your ex treated you. It would be different if your ex was a good guy and actually respected you. Just think about it, what good will being "friends with benefits" do?

Synyster Shadows
December 15th, 2013, 09:28 AM
I agree with Val. Your ex treated you poorly. I mean, cheating on you twice? That's not ok. If you really have strong feelings for the friend and he feels the same way, date the friend. Who cares what your ex says? Don't let him stop you from being happy.

joshmz
December 15th, 2013, 11:52 AM
I dont like the idea of friends with benefits but I dont really like the idea of a secret relationship either. I feel like maybe you should just tell him feel. Maybe you kind of want a rebound cause of your break up?

MissSocks
December 15th, 2013, 12:00 PM
I agree with everyone saying that neither the secret relationship nor the friends with benefits situation would be great. On the other hand, if what you're saying is true and his feelings aren't as strong as yours, then he might not want to hurt his best friend, which is understandable.
I think you need to think about wheter it is 'just' a kind of rebound for you, or if you really have feelings for this guy. If you really do have feelings I think you should talk about it to him and then, if you both agree on it, you can have an official relationship,

Cassius
December 15th, 2013, 10:42 PM
Mein Gott!! How old are you, ten? I understand your situation sucks but a secret relationship?!? Really, you think that's the way to go? Wait a bit, go out with him.

Miri
December 16th, 2013, 06:59 PM
I don't think a secret relationship is the way to go.

If you really like this guy though, there's nothing you can do about that. Just make sure he's not a rebound, and maybe wait a little while, and see if the "spark" is still there. If it is, don't let your ex (after the way he treated you) keep you from being happy.