Dad no longer contacts me

[beebs]

Sorry for length just the situation is quite complicated.

I live with my mother and brother currently, as my dad left 6 years ago. My dad lives over 2 hours away, he lives with his girlfriend, her two children, and their two children.

I used to go to my dads every two weekends when i was younger, but it started to get less and less. I would like to note my dad has a child who is disabled and in a wheelchair, but has been recovering for 3 years now.

Its got to the point where I have not been to my dads in 18 months, I havent seen him in 13 months and he has not called me or my house in at least 3 months (he used to call every sunday).

Yet he has been calling my brothers mobile, he has been in contact with him directly, but not once asked to talk to me or asked about me.

In those months that I have not seen him, he has had another child, so I have a brother who I have not met.

If I ever confront him about not calling, visiting or talking me to his house I get the same excuses.

If i asked why he hasnt called, 'oh you could have called me'. I believe thats a stupid excuse as he is my dad and he should be the one interested in talking to me.

If he hasnt visited, 'oh i had no car', yet he still takes my half brother to the hospital and still has no intention of getting a job meaning he will never be able to afford a decent car that will not break. (I know my disabled half brother and brother i have not met need full time care, but my disabled brother is in school, and my dads girlfriend is around to take care of the baby).

If he hasnt taken me to his house, 'oh i said you could come up a few weeks ago but you said no', even though he only offers to take me to his during school times so i would miss school, and my GCSE's, so i obviously decline.

I am sick of his lack of attention to his children, yes meaning me. Its as if he no longer cares for me or whats to even talk to me. Especially since he calls my brother to talk with him regularly but yet he does not call me.

Are my feelings justified? Do i have a right to be mad at him? Or am i just being stupid? Is there anything you think I can do? Thanks for any answers.

[Hollywood]

Your feelings are absolutely justified. No one likes being rejected by a parent.

I've seen my father once in the last three years, and that was only because my grandmother (his mother) passed away. That was a year ago, he said he would call me and he never did. And what's sad is that I didn't even expect him to.

Your dad sounds a lot like mine. He gave the same "you should've called me" excuse, and even went as far as to blame me and accuse me of ignoring him. We'd make plans to go somewhere, he wouldn't show, and then he'd call later and tell me something came up. It really hurt me.

He has a step-daughter through his wife. She's the closest thing I have to a sister and I've only met her twice. I can only hope he gives her the attention he didn't give me.

Anyways, to answer your question. Only time and acceptance have made me feel better. For a while, I tried to deny that my father didn't care and that his excuses were the truth. Then, I accepted it, and it hurt for a while. Eventually I realized that it just wasn't worth it any more, if he didn't want to be a part of my life, then why should I dwell? Nothing I can do to change it, and I wouldn't want to be arounnd someone who cares so little for their child anyways.

I really hope this helps you somehow. I know how it feels.