Not only burning

[Zach_014]

Burning used to be enough...but it wasn't last night. I cut for the first time and it felt so good and now I'm scared that I will start cutting on top of burning.
I want help I really do but I don't want to cost my family any more money...I've cost too much already

[Harley Quinn]

One of the worst things to do is have two different methods of self harm at one time, it will just lead to worse and worse self harm. While neither is a good idea and they should not be used as a replacement to each other, I do say stick to one. Talk to someone that you trust, confide in them. Talking is something that is needed to get over things like this. I remember bottling thing up and not talking about them with anyone, it just kept eating me. You'll get to the point where you don't want help. You want it and I strongly suggest trying to get it. Talk to someone in school/school councillor, sometimes the best people to talk to aren't even professional. Once you start talking, it does get easier to cope with.

[Zach_014]

Thank you...school counselor is out of the question because quite frankly she is a bitch and everyone knows she doesn't give a damn. I don't know who to turn to though because I don't want my parents knowing I do this

[Harley Quinn]

Is there any other adult/person you trust enough to talk to? If you need to, feel free to PM me if you want to talk to a stranger, sometimes they help more than people you know.

[Dark Hatred]

Burning used to be enough...but it wasn't last night. I cut for the first time and it felt so good and now I'm scared that I will start cutting on top of burning.
I want help I really do but I don't want to cost my family any more money...I've cost too much already

I am here to help you stop.

Ask youself this: Why am I doing this? Really find the TRUE reason WHY you want to harm a perfectly good person.

Get an answer? Is it a good answer? Ok. Now think about this.

1)Is your life really that bad?
2)Do you know of people who have it worse than you?
3)Do those people self harm?

If they don't, then WHY in the WORLD should YOU?! You have it better than them! Why are you worried!



If that doesn't work, try this more unorthodox method.

Cut yourself. But when you do it, think how bad it is. Think how much it hurts. Ask yourself - "what am I doing this for? It hurts so bad! I don't want to do this!"

Every time you cut remember HOW BAD IT HURTS (even if you dont think it - make yourself think it. Imagine how painful it is). Do you really want to do that to yourself?




If you need anything, just PM me. I am always here to help.



x Dark Hatred

[Harley Quinn]

1)Is your life really that bad?
2)Do you know of people who have it worse than you?
3)Do those people self harm?

If they don't, then WHY in the WORLD should YOU?! You have it better than them! Why are you worried!


This is one of the worst things you can say to someone. People are people and it doesn't matter what they are going through, a personal struggle is a personal struggle. Self harm is a personal thing and it shouldn't be ''oh you don't have it so bad'' it's not like that. Never tell someone they have it better than someone. You're just invalidating that person and that persons feelings. It's like saying, oh you've got a good life why do you do these things. People go through so much mental torture that it doesn't even matter what situation they're in or how bad it is, it is something big to them. Stop invalidating a serious issue.



Cut yourself. But when you do it, think how bad it is. Think how much it hurts

That's wonderful advice, telling someone to go cut themselves. That doesn't help. I'm assuming you don't self harm and that's wonderful that you don't, but it does also mean that you don't really know what it's like to be told this. People know how much it hurts, they know how bad it is and they don't need reminding.

[Elysium]

I am here to help you stop.

Ask youself this: Why am I doing this? Really find the TRUE reason WHY you want to harm a perfectly good person.

Get an answer? Is it a good answer? Ok. Now think about this.

1)Is your life really that bad?
2)Do you know of people who have it worse than you?
3)Do those people self harm?

If they don't, then WHY in the WORLD should YOU?! You have it better than them! Why are you worried!

If that doesn't work, try this more unorthodox method.

Cut yourself. But when you do it, think how bad it is. Think how much it hurts. Ask yourself - "what am I doing this for? It hurts so bad! I don't want to do this!"

Every time you cut remember HOW BAD IT HURTS (even if you dont think it - make yourself think it. Imagine how painful it is). Do you really want to do that to yourself?
If I may interject here (as politely as possible)...

I don't think I could possibly disagree more with some of the advice you've given here. In fact, this suggestion is one of my absolute biggest pet peeves. This...
1)Is your life really that bad?
2)Do you know of people who have it worse than you?
3)Do those people self harm?

If they don't, then WHY in the WORLD should YOU?! You have it better than them! Why are you worried!
...I've heard way too many times and it's just perpetuating an awful thought. That's not fair. That's like saying you can't be upset your mother just died because a hundred people died in a bombing somewhere else, or you can't be happy that you just earned an A+ because someone else just won the Nobel Prize. Do you understand why this isn't fair? You cannot compare yourself to others. That is one of the most potentially harmful thoughts, in my opinion. It's just going to get you into a deeper rut. Everyone is their own person with their own issues and everyone copes differently. I'd actually go so far as to say that if someone who self-harmed went through those questions and said, "well, person A has a much worse life than me and they don't self-harm," they'd begin feeling guiltier and beating themselves up and obviously that only exacerbates the situation. You're invalidating self-harm by giving this kind of advice, and that suggests to me that you don't really understand what being a person who self-harms is like.

Which leads to the second point: The entire point is that you want it to hurt. Why would it dissuade you if it did?

[ksdnfkfr]

Burning used to be enough...but it wasn't last night. I cut for the first time and it felt so good and now I'm scared that I will start cutting on top of burning.
I want help I really do but I don't want to cost my family any more money...I've cost too much already

It will be more expensive for them if/when you go too
far and end up putting yourself in the hospital.
Start of by seeing a school counselor like I did.
I am around 115 days self harm free because I got help.

I kind of drives me nuts when someone says they really need
help but they are afraid to get it. I understand your reluctance,
but this is not something you can screw around with. It will
just get worse and put you in a worse situation as long as
you don't get the right kind of help.

[Castle of Glass]

Hey zach, Though i personally cannot say anyhting for burning, i can give you my 2 cents on atleast toning it down. as i do first with any post, have you looked at the Ways to Stop Selfharming (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=190748)? If not, take a glance.

Now, what do you ENJOY? Running? exercise? reading? writing? playing video games? one thing that i personally do, is Wrestling and reading, so if i feel like cutting, or self harming i take a book i like and read it, or wrestle, or load up a match of League of legends. What ever to distract me. So, is there one thing that helps you calm yourself, other than the self harm, if there is, try that instead of cutting or burning.

Next, like Siobhan(Kryptonite) said, try talking to someone you trust. Yes i know it is hard, but if you have someone like that, talk to them. though not nearly everyone SH's, most adults and older teens know about it. their take on it may vary, but find a person you trust.

But, hey, stay strong, we are here for you also. And listen to Krypto, she is helpful.

Stay strong and stay safe

[Katiya]

I am here to help you stop.

Ask youself this: Why am I doing this? Really find the TRUE reason WHY you want to harm a perfectly good person.

Get an answer? Is it a good answer? Ok. Now think about this.

1)Is your life really that bad?
2)Do you know of people who have it worse than you?
3)Do those people self harm?

If they don't, then WHY in the WORLD should YOU?! You have it better than them! Why are you worried!



If that doesn't work, try this more unorthodox method.

Cut yourself. But when you do it, think how bad it is. Think how much it hurts. Ask yourself - "what am I doing this for? It hurts so bad! I don't want to do this!"

Every time you cut remember HOW BAD IT HURTS (even if you dont think it - make yourself think it. Imagine how painful it is). Do you really want to do that to yourself?




If you need anything, just PM me. I am always here to help.



x Dark Hatred

Wow. This is the worst thing you could ever say. I'm sure you mean well but this is NOT going to help! ALL peoples problems are equally important. Diferent people have different tolerances for stress. One person may not be bothered much by severe abuse but another person may be dying inside because they get called fat. It doesn matter what the problem is or how anyone else handls a different problem. IT is important if it hurts the person! End of story everyone's problems are just as important as everyone else's!

This coment drove a friend of mine to suicide. the counselor told her what you just said. she hung her self that night because she thought she was a failure to be bothered by name calling and a waste of everyones time when other people were more in need. she left a note saying this and that she was doing the world a favor.

What a shame! She was a great person and now shes dead!
Please never ever say this to people! It is most certainly NOT true! Everyone is important and deserves to express what they feel if they feel the need to!

I am here to help you stop.

Ask youself this: Why am I doing this? Really find the TRUE reason WHY you want to harm a perfectly good person.

Get an answer? Is it a good answer? Ok. Now think about this.

1)Is your life really that bad?
2)Do you know of people who have it worse than you?
3)Do those people self harm?

If they don't, then WHY in the WORLD should YOU?! You have it better than them! Why are you worried!



If that doesn't work, try this more unorthodox method.

Cut yourself. But when you do it, think how bad it is. Think how much it hurts. Ask yourself - "what am I doing this for? It hurts so bad! I don't want to do this!"

Every time you cut remember HOW BAD IT HURTS (even if you dont think it - make yourself think it. Imagine how painful it is). Do you really want to do that to yourself?




If you need anything, just PM me. I am always here to help.



x Dark Hatred

From the sounds of your post and lack of knowledge about how much what you just said hurts people. Never the less lack of knowledge about why people cut and what if feels like.

I would say you have never been a cutter. You don't understand so please don't post anymore advice here about cutting or sh. If you haven't lived it you won't get it. Your just hurting people. Maybe that's what you want to do?

As many others above have said. This is terrible advice. Just awful. I beg you. Don'tcreate another situation like my friend. She was hurting bad, her pproblems were important but someone killed her by saying those things to her! This person robbed the world of a great person due to their own ignorance.

There is just so much wrong with what you have said j cannot wrap my mind around it:mad:

[Stryker125]

If you need a counselor or someone to talk to, go to imalive.org. You can chat with a counselor and they can help you get help. I know sometimes talking about things like this face to face or over the phone can be terrifying, so you should definitely give this a try.