The Thin Line between Offensive and Overreacting

[isaiah1038]

Alrighty, over the years I have noticed a trend where people confuse what is offensive and what is just people reacting. I'm going to give my opinion on where I think that line is that separates the two.

First of all, what is offensive to you may not be offensive to everybody else. What I mean by this is things are only offensive if they are offensive to a larger group of people and it isn't just an isolated incident. For example, your friend makes a joke about, I don't know, drowning in peanut butter and you get offended because you once almost drowned in peanut butter while taking a tour in a peanut butter factory. NOT OFFENSIVE. Why? Because there is HARDLY ANYBODY that have drowned in peanut butter. Therefore, in this case, you are OVERRACTING. It was just a harmless joke that you took a bit too seriously. If it really does make you uncomfortable, then tell the person don't just flip out like some people do (I have experienced people flipping out over harmless things as such and tried guilt-tripping me). There are a couple of exceptions to this rule that I can think of, and that's if the 'offending' idea pertains to a belief (although you are encouraged to not persecute people based on their beliefs). Gender preference is also an exception. This might seem strange at first, but when you think about it people may or may not know of your gender preference therefore you SHOULDN'T get offended when people can you Sir instead of Mam (or visa versa). However, harassing somebody because of their gender preference is considered offensive.

Second of all, things that ARE offensive to people including, but not limited to, genocide, rape, murder, racism, sexism (towards men AND women), death of close family members (this can include pets), sexuality and asexuality (depending on the situation), suicide, intelligence references (i.e A is smarter than B and C needs to shut the fuck up, or something like that), jokes that are about serious matters that shouldn't be joked about (you should get this one), inappropriate sarcasm in a serious situation, and the list goes on and on.

Third of all, IT IS OKAY TO BE ACCIDENTALLY OFFENSIVE. If you mean't for a comment not to be taken seriously and didn't know that somebody would take it to offense, then you are momentarily pardoned. You are NOT pardoned if you continue to repeat the same, or a similar, offense over and over again.

Finally, this thesis (if you will) is not complete and you may encounter different situations that are a bit dicey. So, it would be in your best interest to explore these Do's and Dont's of society and gather as much reasoning as you can.

Best of luck to you!

[Yonkers]

abcd

[LouBerry]

Alrighty, over the years I have noticed a trend where people confuse what is offensive and what is just people reacting. I'm going to give my opinion on where I think that line is that separates the two.

First of all, what is offensive to you may not be offensive to everybody else. What I mean by this is things are only offensive if they are offensive to a larger group of people and it isn't just an isolated incident. For example, your friend makes a joke about, I don't know, drowning in peanut butter and you get offended because you once almost drowned in peanut butter while taking a tour in a peanut butter factory. NOT OFFENSIVE. Why? Because there is HARDLY ANYBODY that have drowned in peanut butter. Therefore, in this case, you are OVERRACTING. It was just a harmless joke that you took a bit too seriously. If it really does make you uncomfortable, then tell the person don't just flip out like some people do (I have experienced people flipping out over harmless things as such and tried guilt-tripping me). There are a couple of exceptions to this rule that I can think of, and that's if the 'offending' idea pertains to a belief (although you are encouraged to not persecute people based on their beliefs). Gender preference is also an exception. This might seem strange at first, but when you think about it people may or may not know of your gender preference therefore you SHOULDN'T get offended when people can you Sir instead of Mam (or visa versa). However, harassing somebody because of their gender preference is considered offensive.

Second of all, things that ARE offensive to people including, but not limited to, genocide, rape, murder, racism, sexism (towards men AND women), death of close family members (this can include pets), sexuality and asexuality (depending on the situation), suicide, intelligence references (i.e A is smarter than B and C needs to shut the fuck up, or something like that), jokes that are about serious matters that shouldn't be joked about (you should get this one), inappropriate sarcasm in a serious situation, and the list goes on and on.

Third of all, IT IS OKAY TO BE ACCIDENTALLY OFFENSIVE. If you mean't for a comment not to be taken seriously and didn't know that somebody would take it to offense, then you are momentarily pardoned. You are NOT pardoned if you continue to repeat the same, or a similar, offense over and over again.

Finally, this thesis (if you will) is not complete and you may encounter different situations that are a bit dicey. So, it would be in your best interest to explore these Do's and Dont's of society and gather as much reasoning as you can.

Best of luck to you!

What the actual fuck. Define for me the word offensive, please. Hopefully, you're going to say, "Oh you know, something that greatly hurts/upsets someone." It doesn't matter if you say something about drowning in peanut butter, which seems silly, if you offend someone, that's just that. It's not them over reacting, unless they stab you or scream at you for it. You are not the judge of what offends someone.

That list of "approved offensive topics" is shit. You do realize that right? Just because something might not be a common thing that offends people, that doesn't mean it couldn't offend someone.

This whole post offends me, and I can assure you, it is genuine.

[Dark Hatred]

What the actual fuck. Define for me the word offensive, please. Hopefully, you're going to say, "Oh you know, something that greatly hurts/upsets someone." It doesn't matter if you say something about drowning in peanut butter, which seems silly, if you offend someone, that's just that. It's not them over reacting, unless they stab you or scream at you for it. You are not the judge of what offends someone.

That list of "approved offensive topics" is shit. You do realize that right? Just because something might not be a common thing that offends people, that doesn't mean it couldn't offend someone.

This whole post offends me, and I can assure you, it is genuine.

I do not get offended by this type of thing. I, however, respect that you ARE offended. My point being - know your limits. If you say something offensive, back off and apologize. The post I quoted, the user states that he takes offense to those topics. If I was the OP, I wouldn't argue with him. He has an opinion. OP has an opinion. We shouldn't argue over what "offends us."


offense - annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one's standards or principles.

[Sogeking]

This whole post offends me, and I can assure you, it is genuine.

Not that I don't disagree with you, but really? Offended? By a post? On an internet forum?

[Dark Hatred]

Making jokes about your list of 'Offensive Topics' is an important construct in society. That fact that we are able (or should be able) to make jokes about death, for example, shows that as a society, we are capable of overcoming the negative connotations and thoughts surrounding those taboo topics. If we can laugh about death, it shows that we are mentally strong and can overcome the associated fears surrounding it. The same can be applied to suicide, genocide, and to an extent the rest of your list.
Yes, while they are sensitive topics, the jokes allow us to discuss them in context and understand how they truly affect us as a species.

I halfway agree with this. Joking about genocide, for example. You can joke about it with your close friends, in fun. Go out in public, and someone hears that joke - you could be in for it. I can assure you no Jew or German especially (this is not directed at anybody, do not take offense; just making an example) would find them very offensive. Joking about the Holocaust can be touchy. Don't go around on the internet making jokes like that.

[ksdnfkfr]

Some ppl are very thin skinned.
Or as my dad says, wear their feelings on their sleeve.
I think it is usually better just to defuse it by apologizing
to them even if them being upset seems irrational.

[LouBerry]

I do not get offended by this type of thing. I, however, respect that you ARE offended. My point being - know your limits. If you say something offensive, back off and apologize. The post I quoted, the user states that he takes offense to those topics. If I was the OP, I wouldn't argue with him. He has an opinion. OP has an opinion. We shouldn't argue over what "offends us."


offense - annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one's standards or principles.

Wait, what? Where did this even come from? I was addressing the person who posted this thread. I'm not arguing over what offends anyone, I'm saying that you can't disregard something as offensive just because it doesn't seem offensive to you.

Not that I don't disagree with you, but really? Offended? By a post? On an internet forum?

You must be fun at parties.

[Sogeking]

You must be fun at parties.
What's that suppose to mean?

I'm merely saying that this is the internet, where there are things should with taken with a grain of salt. Especially an opinion board on an internet forum.

[Korashk]

I wouldn't call it a thin line so much as a synonym. If you don't like something there's no reason to be a baby about it.

http://www.renegademothering.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/fryII.jpg

[isaiah1038]

Making jokes about your list of 'Offensive Topics' is an important construct in society. That fact that we are able (or should be able) to make jokes about death, for example, shows that as a society, we are capable of overcoming the negative connotations and thoughts surrounding those taboo topics. If we can laugh about death, it shows that we are mentally strong and can overcome the associated fears surrounding it. The same can be applied to suicide, genocide, and to an extent the rest of your list.
Yes, while they are sensitive topics, the jokes allow us to discuss them in context and understand how they truly affect us as a species.

Hmmm... Interesting. I like your perspective :)

What the actual fuck. Define for me the word offensive, please. Hopefully, you're going to say, "Oh you know, something that greatly hurts/upsets someone." It doesn't matter if you say something about drowning in peanut butter, which seems silly, if you offend someone, that's just that. It's not them over reacting, unless they stab you or scream at you for it. You are not the judge of what offends someone.

That list of "approved offensive topics" is shit. You do realize that right? Just because something might not be a common thing that offends people, that doesn't mean it couldn't offend someone.

This whole post offends me, and I can assure you, it is genuine.

First of all, I'm assuming that nobody that reads this post is a moron, so I use the word "offend", you know, that one word you learned in grade school. Anyways, I didn't say that was a definite list, I said it was some examples and that it was my opinion. -edited. -Emerald Dream


-please do not double post. -Emerald Dream

[Saint]

"Offensive" is purely subjective to each individual. The example you gave isn't a bright one. Sure,I don't think anyone has drowned in peanut butter before,but for the sake of this topic,lets say someone almost did. That would change the vibe of the whole situation,wouldn't it? It wouldn't be as right to go on and discuss about how hilarious it would be when there's someone who did have a terrifying experience with peanut butter,and you're in their face telling them its hilarious. It's normal for the person who did have an accident with said peanut butter to feel offended in his/her own right. Over reacting happens when they start going ape shit on you for mentioning anything about peanut butter,or when said person who hates peanut butter starts throwing stuff around,etc.

Being offended and over-reacting don't correlate. They're both different issues. Being offended(note,there's a difference between offensive and being offended) is subjective,and over reaction is where one loses their sense of proportion. I'm pretty sure someone would ask you to stop talking about something that's offensive or touchy to them before it escalates. And when they do,it should be in your best interest to stop. Respect for another goes a long way.

I'm also curious as to what is your definition of "over-reacting". Or were you perceiving what people said as over reacting,when really they were just telling you not to be insensitive?

I've no idea how I was serious when i typed that,lol.

[rogoshtalmour]

People CHOOSE to be offended. Whether its a large group or an individual doesn't matter. Even in large groups it is the choice of each individual if they are gonna be offended by something or NOT be offended by it and just let it go. Ultimately choosing to be offended hurts you more than the person who made the offensive statement or gesture. They have said it and have moved on meanwhile you are still upset about it.