Is it possible to be not sexually attractive to literally everyone?

[dreamofdante]

I haven't had one experience where I've met someone who has legitimate sexual attraction to me other than them being turned on and just wanting something. No one has ever just wanted me. They've wanted the idea. So here's the question. Is it possible that I'm not sexually attractive to anyone out there by some freak case? For the record, a few people have told me they find me attractive but I've never gotten a case where someone wanted to have sex with me.

[ImCoolBeans]

How do you know that? You can't peer into their minds so you can't really say for sure. Seeing as you have 1995 in your username I'm going to assume you're about 18/19, you still have a long, long road ahead of you and you will encounter many new people. High school is not representative of the "real world". People in high school can be very mean and in general it's a very sheltered, fake sense of "reality". Don't feel down because of these feelings you have, but keep on being your best self and you'll find what you're looking for.

[dreamofdante]

How do you know that? You can't peer into their minds so you can't really say for sure. Seeing as you have 1995 in your username I'm going to assume you're about 18/19, you still have a long, long road ahead of you and you will encounter many new people. High school is not representative of the "real world". People in high school can be very mean and in general it's a very sheltered, fake sense of "reality". Don't feel down because of these feelings you have, but keep on being your best self and you'll find what you're looking for.

I'm going to be 18 on New Years Eve. I've never had any experiences whatsoever. I've never kissed anyone. The best I've gotten is a hug. I haven't gotten many of those though. I'm cyber schooled so the only people I meet nowadays are in the outside world. And the only people who find me attractive are women my Mom's age mostly. Some people on here say I'm attractive but I usually either get 'looks don't matter' or a 'they're just being nice' vibe. I haven't met anyone like me either. I'm very different...

[ImCoolBeans]

I'm going to be 18 on New Years Eve. I've never had any experiences whatsoever. I've never kissed anyone. The best I've gotten is a hug. I haven't gotten many of those though. I'm cyber schooled so the only people I meet nowadays are in the outside world. And the only people who find me attractive are women my Mom's age mostly. Some people on here say I'm attractive but I usually either get 'looks don't matter' or a 'they're just being nice' vibe. I haven't met anyone like me either. I'm very different...

If you're homeschooled, you should get a job. It doesn't matter where or what kind of work you're doing, you should do it for the social interaction. You should try applying to some local supermarkets/stores. People around your age will generally be working with you and you'll get to meet new people/get out there in the world a little bit more.

I know plenty of people who are your age or even older who have never had a sexual experience nor have they kissed anybody before. Sex isn't the most important thing in life, and it isn't the most important part of a relationship either. There are people out there for everybody, it's just a matter of getting out there and meeting them/experiencing new things. You'll never know unless you give it a try.

[dreamofdante]

If you're homeschooled, you should get a job. It doesn't matter where or what kind of work you're doing, you should do it for the social interaction. You should try applying to some local supermarkets/stores. People around your age will generally be working with you and you'll get to meet new people/get out there in the world a little bit more.

I know plenty of people who are your age or even older who have never had a sexual experience nor have they kissed anybody before. Sex isn't the most important thing in life, and it isn't the most important part of a relationship either. There are people out there for everybody, it's just a matter of getting out there and meeting them/experiencing new things. You'll never know unless you give it a try.

I wanted to get a job but when I could drive myself and I'm still waiting to get to the dentist and doctor...I need to get my teeth worked on and then get a physical and we are just now trying to get insurance...And not to mention I'm a senior who has no idea what he's going to do with his life...I never felt like I had one true passion in life that I could pursue...Or possibly pursue...If I got a job I guess I could meet a few new people.

[sqishy]

I haven't had one experience where I've met someone who has legitimate sexual attraction to me other than them being turned on and just wanting something. No one has ever just wanted me. They've wanted the idea. So here's the question. Is it possible that I'm not sexually attractive to anyone out there by some freak case? For the record, a few people have told me they find me attractive but I've never gotten a case where someone wanted to have sex with me.

BY sheer chance alone, the chances that nobody at all finds you attractive, is practically zero. Nothing.

I go with what Mike (the other poster here) said.

[dreamofdante]

BY sheer chance alone, the chances that nobody at all finds you attractive, is practically zero. Nothing.

I go with what Mike (the other poster here) said.

Sexually attractive is the key here, man.

[sqishy]

Sexually attractive is the key here, man. That is what I meant yes.

[dreamofdante]

That is what I meant yes.

The odds are actually very low that someone has...

[ImCoolBeans]

I wanted to get a job but when I could drive myself and I'm still waiting to get to the dentist and doctor...I need to get my teeth worked on and then get a physical and we are just now trying to get insurance...And not to mention I'm a senior who has no idea what he's going to do with his life...I never felt like I had one true passion in life that I could pursue...Or possibly pursue...If I got a job I guess I could meet a few new people.

I don't have insurance either man, life goes on. You can't dwell on things like that and get down because of them. You don't need to know what you want to do for the rest of your life right now. You just need to focus on doing the best you can in school and life. I think getting a job would be really productive for you. Do you drive? If not, can you find rides? Take public transportation? Ride your bike?

[dreamofdante]

I don't have insurance either man, life goes on. You can't dwell on things like that and get down because of them. You don't need to know what you want to do for the rest of your life right now. You just need to focus on doing the best you can in school and life. I think getting a job would be really productive for you. Do you drive? If not, can you find rides? Take public transportation? Ride your bike?

Nah I don't drive. We've been trying to work on it but things keep happening and distracting us from getting what we want done. And from where I'm at, they don't do public transportation. I'd have to probably walk over 20 miles to get to anywhere that does. This state just isn't known for it. I wanted to try and get a job when I graduated so that I wouldn't have something holding me down or distracting me. And hopefully I'd be close to having a license by then.

[sqishy]

The odds are actually very low that someone has...

The odds that a random person is found sexually attractive by someone else at that moment, is low (for many reasons, one for me being that I find about 2% of everyone attractive (males)). But to assume and say that nobody has or ever will find a certain person attractive, is to go against the odds.

[dreamofdante]

The odds that a random person is found sexually attractive by someone else at that moment, is low (for many reasons, one for me being that I find about 2% of everyone attractive (males)). But to assume and say that nobody has or ever will find a certain person attractive, is to go against the odds.

Let's think about it though. Some people might want sex with me but that might only be because they're desperate. At the end of the day, people may never want me for me. I'm nothing even close to sexy or special and there's millions of other guys that are. For a woman to say "You're the one I want to have sex with and only you" would be just so unlikely. I'm in general a skeptic of everything slightly unrealistic in life so pardon me for this skeptical analysis. Have you noticed what a fucking weird geek I am too? Lol

[sqishy]

Let's think about it though. Some people might want sex with me but that might only be because they're desperate. At the end of the day, people may never want me for me. I'm nothing even close to sexy or special and there's millions of other guys that are. For a woman to say "You're the one I want to have sex with and only you" would be just so unlikely. I'm in general a skeptic of everything slightly unrealistic in life so pardon me for this skeptical analysis. Have you noticed what a fucking weird geek I am too? Lol

I don't think you are a weird geek

that should be me :P

[dreamofdante]

I don't think you are a weird geek

that should be me :P

Nah you're fine man.

[sqishy]

Nah you're fine man.

Sometimes we need to give ourselves kindness, if we give it a lot to others. Like you, me and many other VTers.

[dreamofdante]

Sometimes we need to give ourselves kindness, if we give it a lot to others. Like you, me and many other VTers.

I wish I remembered how it was to like myself. It feels like that person doesn't even exist anymore...

[sqishy]

I wish I remembered how it was to like myself. It feels like that person doesn't even exist anymore...


Feelings pass, what the world looks like can change with feelings. Our minds are worlds in their own way, so they change with feelings too. If you believe in something and have motivation and certain feelings/emotions to back it up, then you can achieve enough to change our life.

My first sig line below.

[dreamofdante]

Feelings pass, what the world looks like can change with feelings. Our minds are worlds in their own way, so they change with feelings too. If you believe in something and have motivation and certain feelings/emotions to back it up, then you can achieve enough to change our life.

Maybe you're right.

[sqishy]

Maybe you're right.

My idea could've been wrong if I didn't have experience with it, but I do, as with coming out to myself in late June, which set loads of other things in motion and into place.
I had no idea what the second half of this year would hold. It was only 6 months ago, but feels like more.

It can be done.

[dreamofdante]

My idea could've been wrong if I didn't have experience with it, but I do, as with coming out to myself in late June, which set loads of other things in motion and into place.
I had no idea what the second half of this year would hold. It was only 6 months ago, but feels like more.

It can be done.

It might take a while to phase this pain out. I've had it for a very long time...

[sqishy]

It might take a while to phase this pain out. I've had it for a very long time...

I had some things for a long time up to last year, like certain negative moods and thoughts recurring. Some went quickly, others drifted away. It is not easy and sometimes it hurts, but some persistent negative feelings will pass. You recognise what is going on, and many people don't even know what they are feeling or thinking.

[dreamofdante]

I had some things for a long time up to last year, like certain negative moods and thoughts recurring. Some went quickly, others drifted away. It is not easy and sometimes it hurts, but some persistent negative feelings will pass. You recognise what is going on, and many people don't even know what they are feeling or thinking.

My pain has existed for around 9 years so it'll be hard to move on but hopefully it'll come and go.

[sqishy]

My pain has existed for around 9 years so it'll be hard to move on but hopefully it'll come and go.

:/ I have not been in such a situation like that. Nothing is permanent, things can change faster than one might think.

Just mental pain I hope :/

[dreamofdante]

:/ I have not been in such a situation like that. Nothing is permanent, things can change faster than one might think.

Just mental pain I hope :/

I maybe need to give myself more credit. I've survived through a lot...

[sqishy]

I maybe need to give myself more credit. I've survived through a lot...

Yes. Don't be so hard on yourself, when the outer world has been hard enough.

[dreamofdante]

Yes. Don't be so hard on yourself, when the outer world has been hard enough.

My friend put it today in a way I never thought of it but I've had to be the man of the household since I was six years old. Whether it be through my Mom's idiotic boyfriends or my Dad's paralysis or my grandfather dying...I've had to be a man since I was six and it's no wonder I'm like this. I almost feel like a combat veteran.

[Seemyheart]

I haven't had one experience where I've met someone who has legitimate sexual attraction to me other than them being turned on and just wanting something. No one has ever just wanted me. They've wanted the idea. So here's the question. Is it possible that I'm not sexually attractive to anyone out there by some freak case? For the record, a few people have told me they find me attractive but I've never gotten a case where someone wanted to have sex with me.

Sex isn't everything... sooner or later, that right girl will come along and make you think how all this worrying over this was for nothing because she'll want YOU, not the idea of you
You're a great guy, you'll find someone:)

[dreamofdante]

Sex isn't everything... sooner or later, that right girl will come along and make you think how all this worrying over this was for nothing because she'll want YOU, not the idea of you
You're a great guy, you'll find someone:)

Thank you Molly...:)

[sqishy]

My friend put it today in a way I never thought of it but I've had to be the man of the household since I was six years old. Whether it be through my Mom's idiotic boyfriends or my Dad's paralysis or my grandfather dying...I've had to be a man since I was six and it's no wonder I'm like this. I almost feel like a combat veteran.

For having experiences in life down that alley, and being able to take it, is something that you should be respected for.

[dreamofdante]

For having experiences in life down that alley, and being able to take it, is something that you should be respected for.

Yeah...But it's quite the opposite. I'm disrespected for being different.

[sqishy]

Yeah...But it's quite the opposite. I'm disrespected for being different.

Something that is very well in people's grasp to change. I hope one day that all differences will be recognised, respected, and in some cases celebrated.

Difference is the analog of change, change being in time and difference being in space. Without one there wouldn't be the other, and there would be no life.

[Seemyheart]

Thank you Molly...:)

Anytime:) really though, it's okay
This time in our lives is for finding ourselves, not having to find someone
You're a teenager, you've got your WHOLE life ahead of ya, that's plenty of time

[dreamofdante]

Something that is very well in people's grasp to change. I hope one day that all differences will be recognised, respected, and in some cases celebrated.

Difference is the analog of change, change being in time and difference being in space. Without one there wouldn't be the other, and there would be no life.

That's quite true

[dreamofdante]

Anytime:) really though, it's okay
This time in our lives is for finding ourselves, not having to find someone
You're a teenager, you've got your WHOLE life ahead of ya, that's plenty of time

I don't know if I like who I've found...

[Seemyheart]

I don't know if I like who I've found...

What do you mean?

[dreamofdante]

What do you mean?

I found myself but I don't like him.

[Seemyheart]

I found myself but I don't like him.

Why not?
From the PMs we've had, I like you as a person

[dreamofdante]

Why not?
From the PMs we've had, I like you as a person

Are you sure?

[Seemyheart]

Are you sure?

Yes, I'm sure

[dreamofdante]

Yes, I'm sure

Thanks :)

[Seemyheart]

Thanks :)

Anytime:)

[Cassius]

I don't have insurance either man, life goes on. You can't dwell on things like that and get down because of them. You don't need to know what you want to do for the rest of your life right now. You just need to focus on doing the best you can in school and life. I think getting a job would be really productive for you. Do you drive? If not, can you find rides? Take public transportation? Ride your bike?

Man, I totally agree with Mike. I'm not a hyper-sociable person but when I landed a job (that I have to walk to (if I can walk 45 mins you can bike a bit)), I started to meet people and talk more. Don't sweat it man, it'll all work out. Even though I'm only thirteen, I've learned to brush stuff off, be so much more confident than I ever was, and even land a girlfriend because of the job. I verily believe that because I got the job, I learned to consort with others and that led me to talking to Samantha more than before (that led to our dating)

In summary: get the job.

[dreamofdante]

Man, I totally agree with Mike. I'm not a hyper-sociable person but when I landed a job (that I have to walk to (if I can walk 45 mins you can bike a bit)), I started to meet people and talk more. Don't sweat it man, it'll all work out. Even though I'm only thirteen, I've learned to brush stuff off, be so much more confident than I ever was, and even land a girlfriend because of the job. I verily believe that because I got the job, I learned to consort with others and that led me to talking to Samantha more than before (that led to our dating)

In summary: get the job.

Bear in mind that it won't work for everyone...

[Cassius]

Right but you can still get a job

[dreamofdante]

Right but you can still get a job

Yeah I'd like to. When I can drive a car...I'm not making others take me.

[Cassius]

Yeah I'd like to. When I can drive a car...I'm not making others take me.

Again, I'm thirteen. I walk/bike. Try it, or just accept the ride from someone

[dreamofdante]

Again, I'm thirteen. I walk/bike. Try it, or just accept the ride from someone

Alright...

[Lil.k8]

you just need to forget about all of this, looking for someone is often a turn off just try to live your life with out the worry and the special person will show up when you least expect it there are so many people out there the only way to find that special someone is to meet people so hand out with friends and socialise with strangers

[RavleIncarnate]

Just read some of the posts, I think I should be labelled as a weirdo nerd with problems. Many problems. The fact that I'm straight is possibly the only thing normal about my (many) personalities.

[Gifford]

I haven't had one experience where I've met someone who has legitimate sexual attraction to me other than them being turned on and just wanting something. No one has ever just wanted me. They've wanted the idea. So here's the question. Is it possible that I'm not sexually attractive to anyone out there by some freak case? For the record, a few people have told me they find me attractive but I've never gotten a case where someone wanted to have sex with me.

i'm confused: you start out saying you've never met someone with a legitimate sexual attraction other than them being turned on and wanting something? What the hell are you thinking?! That person is attracted to you! What more do you want? We're horny teens, and if someone wants to fool around with you that means they're attracted to you. You have to go for it, enjoy it, be thankful for it, and see where it leads. If you two hit it off you'll want to see each other again. Providing you're not the worst sex in the world! Come on, dude, ease up. Romance doesn't happen right away, it has to develop.

When you say "legitimate sexual attraction", what specifically do you mean? You're young and need the experience anyway so you know what you're doing in bed. Have you had sex before? How many times? w/guys or girls?

I haven't had one experience where I've met someone who has legitimate sexual attraction to me other than them being turned on and just wanting something. No one has ever just wanted me. They've wanted the idea. So here's the question. Is it possible that I'm not sexually attractive to anyone out there by some freak case? For the record, a few people have told me they find me attractive but I've never gotten a case where someone wanted to have sex with me.

I'm going to be 18 on New Years Eve. I've never had any experiences whatsoever. I've never kissed anyone. The best I've gotten is a hug. I haven't gotten many of those though. I'm cyber schooled so the only people I meet nowadays are in the outside world. And the only people who find me attractive are women my Mom's age mostly. Some people on here say I'm attractive but I usually either get 'looks don't matter' or a 'they're just being nice' vibe. I haven't met anyone like me either. I'm very different...

My gramps used to say, "if you want to catch a fish, you have to cast your bait where the fish are swimming". You've been secluded and off to yourself, and in my view you've done yourself a great disservice. Your social skills have not developed fully on level with others your age, and you haven't been able to interact with other teens in the "real world". That's why you've never been kissed, or anything further than that.

I friend of mine gave my my first bj when I was 7. I've always been cute and guys have always been interested. I'm at an all boys' boarding school now and I have a bunch of playmates.

You just have to get yourself out there among others your age. You've missed the majority of your teen years and that's too bad. But going forward, get a job working around other young people, get involved in activities with other students and you'll see things turn around for you.l

Posts merged. ~Elysium

[dreamofdante]

you just need to forget about all of this, looking for someone is often a turn off just try to live your life with out the worry and the special person will show up when you least expect it there are so many people out there the only way to find that special someone is to meet people so hand out with friends and socialise with strangers

I hope this happens...

i'm confused: you start out saying you've never met someone with a legitimate sexual attraction other than them being turned on and wanting something? What the hell are you thinking?! That person is attracted to you! What more do you want? We're horny teens, and if someone wants to fool around with you that means they're attracted to you. You have to go for it, enjoy it, be thankful for it, and see where it leads. If you two hit it off you'll want to see each other again. Providing you're not the worst sex in the world! Come on, dude, ease up. Romance doesn't happen right away, it has to develop.

When you say "legitimate sexual attraction", what specifically do you mean? You're young and need the experience anyway so you know what you're doing in bed. Have you had sex before? How many times? w/guys or girls?

I'm a virgin. I've never kissed a girl in my life either. The most I've amounted to is E-sex and phone sex because no woman wants me outside of phones or internet...I've never experimented either so no. I have basically no idea.

My gramps used to say, "if you want to catch a fish, you have to cast your bait where the fish are swimming". You've been secluded and off to yourself, and in my view you've done yourself a great disservice. Your social skills have not developed fully on level with others your age, and you haven't been able to interact with other teens in the "real world". That's why you've never been kissed, or anything further than that.

I friend of mine gave my my first bj when I was 7. I've always been cute and guys have always been interested. I'm at an all boys' boarding school now and I have a bunch of playmates.

You just have to get yourself out there among others your age. You've missed the majority of your teen years and that's too bad. But going forward, get a job working around other young people, get involved in activities with other students and you'll see things turn around for you.l

I don't even know where to go anymore because I basically have no friends and when I used to have friends they just depressed me because they all got laid and I was the only who hadn't. I'll probably get a job around the time I graduate but I don't know.

Posts merged. Next time, please use the "Edit" or "Multi" button. ~Elysium