Virgin until marriage?

[tml097]

So, me and my girlfriend tonight were talking tonight... so we were talking about sex, and she said that she wants to stay a virgin until marriage.. now she is willing to do anything except intercourse, and she is such a tease and stuff and lets me touch her and all that so i don't understand why she is so crazy about this... and i don't believe in abstinence because I basically think that means you're making a commitment before complete love and intimacy, when it should be the other way... Now don't get me wrong, I also REALLY love my girlfriend and have full respect and appreciation for her and her beliefs, but i don't want this to get in the way of our relationship when i eventually think its time where sex is ok, but she doesn't... because i want to be able to be intimate with my girlfriend and love her fully, but i also don't want to hurt her or make her turn her back on her beliefs. What should I do?
(Ask questions if more info is needed..)

[skiman]

She's got a very good point. Even with all the protection, there's a chance she could get pregnant, and that is a very bad situation. Either you get an abortion or abandon the baby or somehow find a way to care for it. I think for now you should live with what you got, or get married. Speaking of which, how old are you?

[tml097]

I'm 16 and I understand the risks of sex
Edit: and the reason she says she wants to wait is because of religion

[skiman]

Aha! The religion obstacle. Man, like I said before, live with what you have. Its already enough. If i's her religion though, there's not much you can do to convince her otherwise. I hope this helps, it probably didn't though...

[tml097]

Ok, thanks I really appreciate it. I think I'll just deal with it for now, because I really don't want to try and make her change who she is for me, because I care about her to much to do that and if all possible I may want to marry her eventually.

[skiman]

That's a good state of mind to be in. Consider yourself lucky that you are in a quality relationship and make good decisions like that. I wish you luck!

[ksdnfkfr]

You will have to respect and live with her decision.
Just because it is based on religion does not make
it a stupid reason. I have seen lots of people post
that they wish they had waited to lose their virginity
on their honeymoon.

[lassi]

Well personally I agree with your girlfriend. The thing is majority of people would side with you. It is not that your girlfriend doesn't want to be fully intimate with you. She feels that there are certain levels of intimacy that should be saved for after marriage. Since you seem to really love her think of things long term. You don't want things to get old before they should. Enjoy your youth and worry more serious things, such as sex later.

[chezhans]

I agree with her on this one :) It might be best to wait till later to worry about if she will have sex with you, let alone if she will end up marrying you in the process

[LouBerry]

I'm 16 and I understand the risks of sex
Edit: and the reason she says she wants to wait is because of religion

If your girlfriend wants to wait, that is her decision, and you obviously don't understand what a huge one that is. If you push her to do this, and it's not what she wants, which she's made clear it's not, it's going to hurt her. She's going to look in the mirror and hate what she sees. She'll feel dirty and disgusting and she's not going to want you to even touch her. If you're lucky, she won't get depressed, but that's unlikely. If you are willing to do that to her, you do NOT love her, and you do NOT deserve her.

[BookSmart]

Just because she doesn't want sex until after marriage, doesn't mean she won't be able to love you fully. Love isn't about sex. Love is about listening to each other, being there for each other, making each other smile, protecting each other, doing things for each other and supporting each other even if you don't fully agree with what they're doing. Is sex nice? Maybe, I don't know I've never had it nor desire to have it before. However, I don't feel like it will prevent her from loving you fully. If you feel like she's being a tease, you could talk to her about it and maybe even stop doing some of the..more intimate stuff. You should try and respect her decision.

[Cassius]

Man, you need to disambiguate 'sex' from 'love'. To love fully, you insinuate that intercouse is vital. Why?

[Myxox]

If you love her, there's lots you can do without having sex. Eventually maybe she'll change her views.

[ImagineRepublicCity]

Well, some people just like that feeling of being pure until marriage. I mean, how many people actually get to walk down the 'Virgin Road' as some call it. It's a bit of the thrill, maybe religion and even sometimes parents. It also kinda 'guarantees' that the one you lose your virginity to isn't some random person which want to get in you.

[newkler]

wow that is really nice that you respect your girlfriend. i'm sure she'll make you happy when you get married

[IcaJess]

You need to respect that 100%, if you dont think you can than you need to seriously think about being with her.