Thoughts almost turned into actions (possibly triggering)

[WickedWeekend]

It was yesterday I decided I was too sick to go to school. My mom started criticizing me for it, saying that I would never go to college or that she'd drop me off a state away at my dad's to live there because she could take my crap anymore. Yes, I'd missed the whole week of school (I'm going back Monday, mind you. I'm better) and my sickness was taking it's toll on all of us. I understood why she was mad. This doesn't normally happen she never snaps.

My mom said she felt like she wanted to beat me with a baseball bat. Thankfully that never happened and she left for work, leaving me in peace, or what I thought was peace. Emotions raced a mile a minute and I felt super depressed. I turned nearly suicidal. I had thoughts like "I should overdose on some Advil, that's a good idea" or "maybe I should get dressed; it would be weird if the found me half naked."

I nearly did the deed. I planned it out. Had some Advil poured out, about 10 to 15 pills I was about to take. Then I thought about my friends, and how many people would cry at my funeral. I put the meds back in the bottle and then went back to bed, to sleep my sickness off.

How do I stop myself from thinking this type of stuff? If this ever happens again, I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself in time. Can I get some advice, VT?

[Derryck]

Think, why exactly were you upset? :\

[Katiya]

First good job for not doing it!

Second idk I have thoughts like that too when things get really bad. I just try to think of the possible future Id be destroying for my self. And of course, "What if I don't die and end up perminantly fucked up for life?"
That scares me more than anything and i always decide its better not to risk it.

[johndoe1112]

It was yesterday I decided I was too sick to go to school. My mom started criticizing me for it, saying that I would never go to college or that she'd drop me off a state away at my dad's to live there because she could take my crap anymore. Yes, I'd missed the whole week of school (I'm going back Monday, mind you. I'm better) and my sickness was taking it's toll on all of us. I understood why she was mad. This doesn't normally happen she never snaps.

My mom said she felt like she wanted to beat me with a baseball bat. Thankfully that never happened and she left for work, leaving me in peace, or what I thought was peace. Emotions raced a mile a minute and I felt super depressed. I turned nearly suicidal. I had thoughts like "I should overdose on some Advil, that's a good idea" or "maybe I should get dressed; it would be weird if the found me half naked."

I nearly did the deed. I planned it out. Had some Advil poured out, about 10 to 15 pills I was about to take. Then I thought about my friends, and how many people would cry at my funeral. I put the meds back in the bottle and then went back to bed, to sleep my sickness off.

How do I stop myself from thinking this type of stuff? If this ever happens again, I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself in time. Can I get some advice, VT?
ok you would not die from oding on advil you would get a really bad stomach ack but you got to express yourself on these types of situations if your mom was bitching at you maybe you can't just hold it inside and tell her about herself