Relationship with parents = screwed! Pleas help!

[merlin1]

Hi. Please read all of this as I really want some advise on my relationship with my parents and our opposing religious beliefs which has been irritating me for ages. Thanks a lot:

"My parents area such pushy people when it comes to religion. Growing up with them has been a constant battle to have my beliefs respected.

I was brought up a Christian since I was born and when I was like 13 I realised I thought it all totally rubbish (no offence to anyone- you believe what you want (-:

Since I stopped been a Christian they've been such twats and have been doing to damn hardest to entice me back. They've given up forcing me to church about 6 months ago which I suppose is something.

But they've sent me to a Christian school when I was 13 because I earned enough 'church points'. I really want to leave but they have told me I have to stay and even when the head teacher was threatening to chuck me out my parents said they want me to stay.
The teachers hate me because I don't pray in assemblies and in RS lessons the bias teacher annoys me so much when he's teaching (wrongly) about Buddhism.

Anyway when I was like 14 a friend of mine (who has not unfortunately moved away) was telling me about his religion and I really found Buddhism appealed to me and made sense. So each time I went to his house he and his family were educating to me about Buddhism. My parents didn't know any of this was happening.

Back to my parents, it really annoys me and actually upsets me that I [can't be myself around them and that they don't accept my religious views. They don't know I'm a Buddhist and think I just don't follow a religion. If the found out I think they'd go mad and probably disown me.

What should I do? I enjoy Buddhism and its a part of my life which really makes sense but I want to be able to talk to my parents without them preaching and trying to ram Christianity down my throat.

Thanks for taking time to help and I'm sorry if my rant on Christianity has offended anyone. I'm really didn't mean to.

Moderators: I've put this in this forum because its about my relationship with my parents and think I'll receive best advise in here. So please don't move it? Ta!

[Tarannosaurus]

It might just take some time. When I decided to be Buddhist and then vegetarian my parents used to mock me and they thought it was stupid, and that it would never last. They thought I was certifiably insane when I became interested in Wicca for a while. Now I am still vegetarian and Buddhist(/pagan-ish) and they have become more accepting of that. My mother is more understanding (she's an atheist that grew up in a Catholic family and environment), and my father now at least keeps his opinions to himself (strict closed minded Catholic) but I'm not allowed to mention it in front of relatives. Keep practising Buddhism, let them see that it's what you're committed to and what you want. Given time they will become more accepting, and will at least stop forcing Christianity onto you. Also you're 16 and soon you they won't be able to make you do anything. It sounds like you might have to just put up with the school, I know how annoying Catholic schools can be, and I've given up correcting religion teachers when they talk about Buddhism, and students that confuse it with Islam and think I'm a Muslim. Just keep reminding yourself, school will only be for another few years and then you have the rest of your life.

[LouBerry]

Hi. Please read all of this as I really want some advise on my relationship with my parents and our opposing religious beliefs which has been irritating me for ages. Thanks a lot:

"My parents area such pushy people when it comes to religion. Growing up with them has been a constant battle to have my beliefs respected.

I was brought up a Christian since I was born and when I was like 13 I realised I thought it all totally rubbish (no offence to anyone- you believe what you want (-:

Since I stopped been a Christian they've been such twats and have been doing to damn hardest to entice me back. They've given up forcing me to church about 6 months ago which I suppose is something.

But they've sent me to a Christian school when I was 13 because I earned enough 'church points'. I really want to leave but they have told me I have to stay and even when the head teacher was threatening to chuck me out my parents said they want me to stay.
The teachers hate me because I don't pray in assemblies and in RS lessons the bias teacher annoys me so much when he's teaching (wrongly) about Buddhism.

Anyway when I was like 14 a friend of mine (who has not unfortunately moved away) was telling me about his religion and I really found Buddhism appealed to me and made sense. So each time I went to his house he and his family were educating to me about Buddhism. My parents didn't know any of this was happening.

Back to my parents, it really annoys me and actually upsets me that I [can't be myself around them and that they don't accept my religious views. They don't know I'm a Buddhist and think I just don't follow a religion. If the found out I think they'd go mad and probably disown me.

What should I do? I enjoy Buddhism and its a part of my life which really makes sense but I want to be able to talk to my parents without them preaching and trying to ram Christianity down my throat.

Thanks for taking time to help and I'm sorry if my rant on Christianity has offended anyone. I'm really didn't mean to.

Moderators: I've put this in this forum because its about my relationship with my parents and think I'll receive best advise in here. So please don't move it? Ta!

They're your parents, just deal with it. You only have a few years left to stay with them, then you can be whoever you want. Honestly, is getting your opinion out there so important that you feel the need to upset them. Be gentle and tell them calmly about yourself. If the disown you, they are not Christians and are a serious disgrace to the name. You want them to give you a chance, you have to give them one too. Compromise, my friend.

[Harley Quinn]

Relationships and Dating :arrow: Family and Friends.

[merlin1]

It might just take some time. When I decided to be Buddhist and then vegetarian my parents used to mock me and they thought it was stupid, and that it would never last. They thought I was certifiably insane when I became interested in Wicca for a while. Now I am still vegetarian and Buddhist(/pagan-ish) and they have become more accepting of that. My mother is more understanding (she's an atheist that grew up in a Catholic family and environment), and my father now at least keeps his opinions to himself (strict closed minded Catholic) but I'm not allowed to mention it in front of relatives. Keep practising Buddhism, let them see that it's what you're committed to and what you want. Given time they will become more accepting, and will at least stop forcing Christianity onto you. Also you're 16 and soon you they won't be able to make you do anything. It sounds like you might have to just put up with the school, I know how annoying Catholic schools can be, and I've given up correcting religion teachers when they talk about Buddhism, and students that confuse it with Islam and think I'm a Muslim. Just keep reminding yourself, school will only be for another few years and then you have the rest of your life.
Mine don't know I'm Buddhist and they would kill me if they knew. They're soooo strongly Christian.
And how the hell do people confuse buddhism and Christianity?
And I know heat you mean, some teachers, even the RS teachers, haven't got a clue about Buddhism. And they tell me I'm in the wrong!

[Tarannosaurus]

Mine don't know I'm Buddhist and they would kill me if they knew. They're soooo strongly Christian.
And how the hell do people confuse buddhism and Christianity?
And I know heat you mean, some teachers, even the RS teachers, haven't got a clue about Buddhism. And they tell me I'm in the wrong!


I see, alright maybe don't mention Buddhism for now let them get used to you not being Christian. It might not seem like it right now but try to be patient. Remember that their generation were practically brainwashed into Christianity and were taught that people with other beliefs go straight to hell and all that.

Exactly they're completely different religions! I could understand mixing it up with Hinduism because they are sort of similar and started in the same country. But Islam, Christianity and Judaism, and those sort of religions are completely different! Yeah my religion teacher is constantly telling us how Buddhists worship many gods and believe in self torment and suffering (honestly I would have thought middle way is pretty self explanatory).

[HUSTLEMAN]

Don't change anything, practice Buddhism if you want. If your parents truly love you then they should be able to accept your religious belief, even if it differs from theirs. If they can't do that, then don't love you, plain and simple.

[merlin1]

Yeah my religion teacher is constantly telling us how Buddhists worship many gods and believe in self torment and suffering (honestly I would have thought middle way is pretty self explanatory).

Many gods? Is he a retard? Knowing there's no god in Buddhism is kinda basic!

Thanks. My bastard parents woke me up this morning and decided they'd do anything and ignore my protests to get me to church. Arse holes! Why are they trying to force Christianity back into me?