My limit is nearing.

[Derryck]

I've let so meany down. I've lost so meany friends and blew so meany opportunities. This is driving me to my limit. So meany that I loved turned their backs on me because I was an asshole. I don't think anyone would care if I died. That wouldn't matter to the girls. The friends I used to have... they're too far gone. Missed plenty of opportunities. I just want to go away. I want to die. That'll make people feel better, right? No more of Derryck breathing down their necks. No more drama. They left me.. They won't care. They won't. I want to just die. My apologies are meaningless now. I want them all back but I know I can't do it. No one loves me for me anymore. I always lose them. Always. I don't see any hope now. Nothing. I don't mean anything to them like I used to. They would be happier if I died....

[Katiya]

Well us here still care! We dont you to die! :)

That's life, I lose most friends. Probably because I'm very specific in what I want and I'm always my self. I don't change for people. So you either love me or you hate me. I do my own thing and its pointless to try and cram advice down my throught. I'll just say fuck off then lol. I appreciate kind suggestions but if I don't take it drop it. I'll do the same favor in return.
Most friends aren't true friends. I tend to get sick of the relationships and dump them after a while or they dump me. I'm good with chill people who aren't bothered by much and are easy going. But most people have their agenda and want you to conform. I don't conform to what I don't believe in so subsequently I don't keep many friends. I'm fine with that though it gets boring.

I've always said acting is great fun but it becomes chore if you have to do it every time your around someone and eventually you get lazy and they figure it out. If they don't like you for you, forget them. If they aren't chill with living separate lives with separate opinions then its time to part ways.

It also comes down to comon intrests. If you don't have common interests it won't ever work. Peoples interests change over time too so lots of once friends part ways because their lives change. And if your like me with uncommon interests then you have little or no friends until your lucky enough to find common ground with someone.

Hope I helped some!

PS I think a lot of people would be happier if I died. But I don't like these people so I like to stick around to annoy them with my existence as payback for their inconcideration haha!

I would just try to brush it off and do what interests you. Sure days will be hard now and then but live for the good parts, like chocolate! Or what ever you like ;)

[sqishy]

I've let so meany down. I've lost so meany friends and blew so meany opportunities. This is driving me to my limit. So meany that I loved turned their backs on me because I was an asshole. I don't think anyone would care if I died. That wouldn't matter to the girls. The friends I used to have... they're too far gone. Missed plenty of opportunities. I just want to go away. I want to die. That'll make people feel better, right? No more of Derryck breathing down their necks. No more drama. They left me.. They won't care. They won't. I want to just die. My apologies are meaningless now. I want them all back but I know I can't do it. No one loves me for me anymore. I always lose them. Always. I don't see any hope now. Nothing. I don't mean anything to them like I used to. They would be happier if I died....

What Katiya said in her first response is what I go with. People do care for you, even though it might not seem so. And we at VT care for you, really. *hugs*

[lassi]

Just relax and try to start fresh. Don't worry about what you did wrong in the past. Just move forward. Take a breath. Okay so you messed up. It's not the end of the world, is it?? Stop dwelling on what you couldn't or didn't do. Think of what you can do and how you can improve. Have a positive attitude. Things can only get better :)

[Derryck]

Just relax and try to start fresh. Don't worry about what you did wrong in the past. Just move forward. Take a breath. Okay so you messed up. It's not the end of the world, is it?? Stop dwelling on what you couldn't or didn't do. Think of what you can do and how you can improve. Have a positive attitude. Things can only get better :)

The girls at school are too focused on their friends and other guys to notice change.

[lassi]

Not all girls are the same. Someone will notice.

[Dark Unicorn]

I've let so meany down. I've lost so meany friends and blew so meany opportunities. This is driving me to my limit. So meany that I loved turned their backs on me because I was an asshole. I don't think anyone would care if I died. That wouldn't matter to the girls. The friends I used to have... they're too far gone. Missed plenty of opportunities. I just want to go away. I want to die. That'll make people feel better, right? No more of Derryck breathing down their necks. No more drama. They left me.. They won't care. They won't. I want to just die. My apologies are meaningless now. I want them all back but I know I can't do it. No one loves me for me anymore. I always lose them. Always. I don't see any hope now. Nothing. I don't mean anything to them like I used to. They would be happier if I died....

Heya Derryck.I agree with what everyone said.There are plenty of people here that care deeply for you.I for one, have fallen for your wit,charm and honest nature:).So you messed up,who doesn't ? Those friends weren't true friends if they gave up on you because things got a little heated or whatever.Seriously.You may have acted like a jerk sometimes(which probably wasn't as bad as you make out) but you are pretty kind too(I should know).Anyway,girls can be shallow sometimes but trust me,there are plenty of us that aren't.Someone will notice if you make some changes,guaranteed.So don't die on us now...we'll all be crushed.

[The Trendy Wolf]

I've let so meany down. I've lost so meany friends and blew so meany opportunities. This is driving me to my limit. So meany that I loved turned their backs on me because I was an asshole. I don't think anyone would care if I died. That wouldn't matter to the girls. The friends I used to have... they're too far gone. Missed plenty of opportunities. I just want to go away. I want to die. That'll make people feel better, right? No more of Derryck breathing down their necks. No more drama. They left me.. They won't care. They won't. I want to just die. My apologies are meaningless now. I want them all back but I know I can't do it. No one loves me for me anymore. I always lose them. Always. I don't see any hope now. Nothing. I don't mean anything to them like I used to. They would be happier if I died....

I wish to apologize. I hadn't realized your current state of mind when I first met you. I sincerely would have acted differently towards you if I knew you better. You mean something to me, that's for sure. If you were to have killed yourself even before my knowledge of your mental state, then I would have been deeply saddened by your leaving. I would've regretted so many things. You must know that I care about you. We care about you. Your family and friends care about you. If they knew that you were in trouble, then they would immediately help. Nobody wants you to go away, and everyone that knew you, and perhaps those who didn't, would be affected greatly. Deep down they care for you and love you. You must have the support and help from others to cure your ideas of suicide. Please know, everyone cares, and I'm not just saying that. We all care for those of our own species; it is within our nature to do so.