Log in

View Full Version : Feedback on poems


Cassius
December 5th, 2013, 11:49 PM
It would be appreciated if you guys would critique my writing. Not all are poems but all poetic

The sweetest embrace,
True joy stems from you my love,
A cheek so lovely

Wherefore doth thou smite thine brothers? Wherefore doth thou turn thy cheek against our love? Thy compassion for thine brother lies not anon ; wherefore doth thou pray it not be found? You be scar'd of love. Wherefore? The thief who stole thy heart stole thyself along. Wherefore? Wherefore?

There will be more eventually, but this is good for now for I'm sleepu

DorkimusPrime
December 6th, 2013, 06:28 PM
I like it, the second one i had a little trouble following, but I'm not very accustomed to old English.

Cassius
December 8th, 2013, 10:15 AM
My friend, my comrade,
Share laughs, share joy, share feelings,
My sweet confidant