Jessiibear
December 5th, 2013, 11:05 AM
Some Saturday ago, I had the worst trip of my life. From just two hits of weed!
I only saw that kind of thing happen on YouTube or an intervention reality show. You know, those guys that are saying weird things, passing out, delusional, rolling all over the street, stripping, convulsing, yelling, always moving...that was me! I never thought it would happen to me, off pot no less. Not all those things happened to me exactly, though. Let me explain...
I was with this guy I don't really consider a friend (I don't know, it's complicated--and for security purposes, we'll call him Bob). I gave Bob the weed he made me hold while he set up the stuff to get started. Then we did it. As aforementioned, ladies and gents, I had two--that's 2!--hits of the stuff. That's all. I was coughing and that's really the last thing of reality I'm 100% sure happened. The next thing I remember after that was me "waking up" on Bob's bed, in a too-bright/vivid room. I stood up against the white wall as instructed and then, in my swarming head, declared the wall my best friend.
Time and space was so warped that I can't tell you what exactly happened in successive order. I panicked. Hard. I stood on his bed and he told me to open my eyes wide with my fingers. I obeyed and then, as he examined my eyes, he said, "Oh no, you're palvatating," in an amused tone that I felt he was using to mask worry. But..."palvatating"??? That's not even a word!
It never really happened.
I was tripping. I begged him to call 911 several times because I was 100% sure I was dying. He kept saying, "No, no. Calm down." But I couldn't. It only made it worse.
At one point, I felt myself physically die and go to hell. Like, I slipped away! (I remember wondering, "Why hell?" Then I concluded it was because I stopped praying and going to church. Because I did weed, because I'm suicidal, because I was mad at God, because I lost faith...) It was weird because this happened right after (I think) I told Bob "I'm dying!! Help me...there's something wrong, what do I do, what do I do? I'm dying!" He said, "If there was something wrong, you would have puked and passed out by now." Right after he said that, I thought I had. I imagined that my real self/my body was unconscious and that paramedics and my mum and Bob and his family were there, panicking and trying to revive me. Meanwhile, I was just laying on top of him, lifeless. I went brain dead and limp, weighing a ton...and I couldn't breathe or talk or hear the TV or blink or move and I just screamed in my head.
Bob held my face and looked at me. I still felt brain dead, feeling like I was a Miniature Me locked in the deep recesses of my mind, wanting to cry and snap myself out of it. I just gazed at him, and his face morphed into a demon's. He smirked at me and I heard faint, low, echoed laughter. It was proof to me that I was in hell. My vision was like that of a magnifying glass, so Bob's face was big (yet not) and it freaked me the fuck out. And I couldn't do anything about it.
I thought that was what death was like: You're a zombie, slipping away, able to see your dying body in the real world. It didn't help that the lights had been off the whole time.
The experience was mostly hell. After "death", I slowly broke through, saying, "'Cause I will fight this! I will be free!!" I sat up on Bob and started to remember that I was just incredibly high. I genuinely forgot.
A number of times, I begged Bob to "bring me back to reality". I felt like I was in a different dimension because every 5 seconds or so, everything skipped and repeated. Time kept jumping. It was unreal! I screamed, I stripped part way, I cried, I laughed, I was severely tingly all over--especially when paranoid (at those moments, my head was experiencing more of the intense pins and needles), there was a burning in my chest and I had hot flashes and chills. I convulsed at times.
I had MAJOR hallucinations, and at points, an absence of my senses. You know some of the visual and hearing ones--others of which include (but are not limited to): Visual: Things happening in an episode of Family Guy that never actually happened, Bob's nose physically twisting like something you would see on a Photobooth Tag...(when I closed my eyes at one point, I cried because I couldn't see Bob and felt like they sealed shut. He had to open them for me. I also had hallucinations while my eyes were closed!) Hearing: hearing Bob's sister (who was never there), hearing monsters in his basement, voices in my head... When Bob helped me drink my juice or water (because I was convinced I didn't know how to drink for myself--I even cried over it), I would take a mere sip with difficulty swallowing, feel my entire body from my feet to my head fill up, and say, "Careful. You'll make me drown if you give me too much." I really thought he would drown me.
I felt like I was with Bob for days, but it was really about an hour.
So that's it. I told myself I would never do drugs again. Bob put the weed in one of my pill bottles, but I freaked out on him and told him to take it away from me.
My advise is, don't do drugs. At this point, I'm not as strict on my decision to NEVER do it again--taking into consideration that at the time, I haven't touched the stuff in months, I was on two prescription pills (one being quite harsh), I smoke cigarettes, and I have panic attacks and am paranoid to begin with. But still! It was VERY difficult to fall asleep that night, but when I did, I had nightmares and awoke several times in the night in a cold sweat. A couple succeeding days, I was still feeling the effects. I was depressed, spacey, very tired...
When you're in that state of mind, you're not yourself. There's no remembering reality or who you are because the drug keeps pulling you back into this pit of disorientation. I was powerless and terrified.
Anyone else have a similar situation or know someone who did?
I only saw that kind of thing happen on YouTube or an intervention reality show. You know, those guys that are saying weird things, passing out, delusional, rolling all over the street, stripping, convulsing, yelling, always moving...that was me! I never thought it would happen to me, off pot no less. Not all those things happened to me exactly, though. Let me explain...
I was with this guy I don't really consider a friend (I don't know, it's complicated--and for security purposes, we'll call him Bob). I gave Bob the weed he made me hold while he set up the stuff to get started. Then we did it. As aforementioned, ladies and gents, I had two--that's 2!--hits of the stuff. That's all. I was coughing and that's really the last thing of reality I'm 100% sure happened. The next thing I remember after that was me "waking up" on Bob's bed, in a too-bright/vivid room. I stood up against the white wall as instructed and then, in my swarming head, declared the wall my best friend.
Time and space was so warped that I can't tell you what exactly happened in successive order. I panicked. Hard. I stood on his bed and he told me to open my eyes wide with my fingers. I obeyed and then, as he examined my eyes, he said, "Oh no, you're palvatating," in an amused tone that I felt he was using to mask worry. But..."palvatating"??? That's not even a word!
It never really happened.
I was tripping. I begged him to call 911 several times because I was 100% sure I was dying. He kept saying, "No, no. Calm down." But I couldn't. It only made it worse.
At one point, I felt myself physically die and go to hell. Like, I slipped away! (I remember wondering, "Why hell?" Then I concluded it was because I stopped praying and going to church. Because I did weed, because I'm suicidal, because I was mad at God, because I lost faith...) It was weird because this happened right after (I think) I told Bob "I'm dying!! Help me...there's something wrong, what do I do, what do I do? I'm dying!" He said, "If there was something wrong, you would have puked and passed out by now." Right after he said that, I thought I had. I imagined that my real self/my body was unconscious and that paramedics and my mum and Bob and his family were there, panicking and trying to revive me. Meanwhile, I was just laying on top of him, lifeless. I went brain dead and limp, weighing a ton...and I couldn't breathe or talk or hear the TV or blink or move and I just screamed in my head.
Bob held my face and looked at me. I still felt brain dead, feeling like I was a Miniature Me locked in the deep recesses of my mind, wanting to cry and snap myself out of it. I just gazed at him, and his face morphed into a demon's. He smirked at me and I heard faint, low, echoed laughter. It was proof to me that I was in hell. My vision was like that of a magnifying glass, so Bob's face was big (yet not) and it freaked me the fuck out. And I couldn't do anything about it.
I thought that was what death was like: You're a zombie, slipping away, able to see your dying body in the real world. It didn't help that the lights had been off the whole time.
The experience was mostly hell. After "death", I slowly broke through, saying, "'Cause I will fight this! I will be free!!" I sat up on Bob and started to remember that I was just incredibly high. I genuinely forgot.
A number of times, I begged Bob to "bring me back to reality". I felt like I was in a different dimension because every 5 seconds or so, everything skipped and repeated. Time kept jumping. It was unreal! I screamed, I stripped part way, I cried, I laughed, I was severely tingly all over--especially when paranoid (at those moments, my head was experiencing more of the intense pins and needles), there was a burning in my chest and I had hot flashes and chills. I convulsed at times.
I had MAJOR hallucinations, and at points, an absence of my senses. You know some of the visual and hearing ones--others of which include (but are not limited to): Visual: Things happening in an episode of Family Guy that never actually happened, Bob's nose physically twisting like something you would see on a Photobooth Tag...(when I closed my eyes at one point, I cried because I couldn't see Bob and felt like they sealed shut. He had to open them for me. I also had hallucinations while my eyes were closed!) Hearing: hearing Bob's sister (who was never there), hearing monsters in his basement, voices in my head... When Bob helped me drink my juice or water (because I was convinced I didn't know how to drink for myself--I even cried over it), I would take a mere sip with difficulty swallowing, feel my entire body from my feet to my head fill up, and say, "Careful. You'll make me drown if you give me too much." I really thought he would drown me.
I felt like I was with Bob for days, but it was really about an hour.
So that's it. I told myself I would never do drugs again. Bob put the weed in one of my pill bottles, but I freaked out on him and told him to take it away from me.
My advise is, don't do drugs. At this point, I'm not as strict on my decision to NEVER do it again--taking into consideration that at the time, I haven't touched the stuff in months, I was on two prescription pills (one being quite harsh), I smoke cigarettes, and I have panic attacks and am paranoid to begin with. But still! It was VERY difficult to fall asleep that night, but when I did, I had nightmares and awoke several times in the night in a cold sweat. A couple succeeding days, I was still feeling the effects. I was depressed, spacey, very tired...
When you're in that state of mind, you're not yourself. There's no remembering reality or who you are because the drug keeps pulling you back into this pit of disorientation. I was powerless and terrified.
Anyone else have a similar situation or know someone who did?