Brice
December 3rd, 2013, 09:15 PM
Hey, everybody. So I'm a little confused. I'm about to give y'all a big background story. Haha!!! Anyway, in sixth grade, there was a new girl and she was pretty and like a female version of me. I immediately began to like her when I saw her. She's beautiful. By the time I got the courage to ask her out, I found out that she had a boyfriend. She stayed with him for a long time.
I found out I was moving in the middle of my seventh grade year and I finally told her that I loved her because I knew that's what my feelings were. I consider myself a mentally and emotionally mature person. So I told her and for a week, we had fun. We made plans. A list of baby names and colleges and we talked about marriage. But I told her I would wait for her. And that we couldn't keep our lives on hold for each other because I don't like long distance relationships.
At the same time in my life, I began liking boys. I already did, but I ignores and was in denial and didn't give it any thought. In fact, I didn't like gay people either. I was raised Christian and taught that it was wrong and that gay people were going to hell. I had never heard of bisexuality yet. I had no male friends except one and he was gorgeous. Nice personality too. I had a small crush on him. Then, I went to his birthday party and saw another guy and I was practically obsessed with him. I blushed when I heard his name. But, he blew me off and that's what ended that. And no, by blew, I didn't mean anything perverted, just to clarify.
Back to my move. I was in pain. It wasn't the first time we had moved but I felt like I was losing more this time. After a while I lost contact with most of my friends. I had friends here but I didn't consider any of them best friend material. I dated and stuff, but none of my emotions were ever strong. They were a small crush, and that's exaggerating. And then I met another guy. The most gorgeous thing I had ever seen. We became friends, but I switched schools a month after that so he never knew anything about me, but my friends who knew about me were convinced he like me too.
Since then, I've discovered something. I stopped feeling strong emotions for girls after that one girl. I still love her now, 3 years later. But nothing has stopped my feelings for guys, and at this moment I feel like I have 3 options for my future. End up with a guy and come out as whatever I am, end up with the girl because she's the only girl I've loved in a long time and for a long time, or end up alone. Now for the reason I put this in the teen sexuality thing: I want to know what I am. Is it normal? Am I just stupid or something? Please help. Thanks!!!
I found out I was moving in the middle of my seventh grade year and I finally told her that I loved her because I knew that's what my feelings were. I consider myself a mentally and emotionally mature person. So I told her and for a week, we had fun. We made plans. A list of baby names and colleges and we talked about marriage. But I told her I would wait for her. And that we couldn't keep our lives on hold for each other because I don't like long distance relationships.
At the same time in my life, I began liking boys. I already did, but I ignores and was in denial and didn't give it any thought. In fact, I didn't like gay people either. I was raised Christian and taught that it was wrong and that gay people were going to hell. I had never heard of bisexuality yet. I had no male friends except one and he was gorgeous. Nice personality too. I had a small crush on him. Then, I went to his birthday party and saw another guy and I was practically obsessed with him. I blushed when I heard his name. But, he blew me off and that's what ended that. And no, by blew, I didn't mean anything perverted, just to clarify.
Back to my move. I was in pain. It wasn't the first time we had moved but I felt like I was losing more this time. After a while I lost contact with most of my friends. I had friends here but I didn't consider any of them best friend material. I dated and stuff, but none of my emotions were ever strong. They were a small crush, and that's exaggerating. And then I met another guy. The most gorgeous thing I had ever seen. We became friends, but I switched schools a month after that so he never knew anything about me, but my friends who knew about me were convinced he like me too.
Since then, I've discovered something. I stopped feeling strong emotions for girls after that one girl. I still love her now, 3 years later. But nothing has stopped my feelings for guys, and at this moment I feel like I have 3 options for my future. End up with a guy and come out as whatever I am, end up with the girl because she's the only girl I've loved in a long time and for a long time, or end up alone. Now for the reason I put this in the teen sexuality thing: I want to know what I am. Is it normal? Am I just stupid or something? Please help. Thanks!!!