so uh i relapsed...

[kittyprydexo]

i gave up. i caved into my emotions and feelings. i let the anger and sadness get to me. after a while i couldn't take it anymore.
i needed the pain, i missed the pain.
so yeah i messed up again.
i forgot how it felt to cut, the feel the blade dig into my flesh and the trickle of blood pouring down my leg.
i know i shouldn't have done it but it felt so good and i feel so much better. for now.
ugh i am so stupid, after 4 months of not cutting i caved in. if my mum finds out i've cut again she'll send me to my doctor, they think i should get help, what do i do?

[Katiya]

Don't let you mom find out. You don't want to be put in a unit. Its horrible, I don't know anyone that it actually helped. I'm sure a few are OK but I'd say 99% are horrible.

Talking with someone would be OK but it has to be some one trustworthy that won't section you in the unit. A friend would be the best bet.

[kittyprydexo]

sometimes she like does 'searches' and goes through my stuff and will look for blades and if she finds them then she'll get me to show her where i've cut ugh

[Castle of Glass]

hey, relapse is normal. it happens. you made it 4 months, you can do it again. as for your mom and the doctor, as a self harmer, of any kind, you really can't get help until you are ready to get it yourself

[ksdnfkfr]

You did really good lasting four months.
Look at that as an achievement.
Now it is time for another achievement.

[johndoe1112]

yeah you don't want to get caught because if you go under 72 hour surveillance then if they find something wrong with you then you stay there for however long they want you to stay

[Charlie48]

I'd usually say get professional help but you've got to want to be helped too. Find out what the root cause is and deal with it. Do whatever you got to do.

[kittyprydexo]

thank you guys so much, i'm going to try and start again and try and preoccupy myself with work and college so i don't focus on all the bad things making me feel like i need to cut.

[RavleIncarnate]

Things must be so hard, I can't imagine what all these self-harmers are going through. Whoa, where did that come from?, I'm a darn half goth introvert, I don't show that much sympathy at a whim!? Oh wait it must be like my life a lot.

[RavleIncarnate]

That's where I got that sudden deluge of sympathy! Wow. Well that happened.