what to do ?

[DarkOmega]

I know its stupid for me to even post this ,but I've been holding a lot of stuff in me for a lot of years.
well.I've always had self-esteem problems. I always thought I'm ugly .worthless ,stupid and arrogant .I always find myself depressed and I always have anxiety problems . I can barely talk to people I just met .and even though ,with my friends I always joke around, . I just fell like they don't understand what its really going on with me . can't blame them. I don't even know .I have been suicidal multiple times . the only time I'm "happy" is when I'm with my friends that I grew up with in Romania (that;s where I'm from) every summer , we always hang out and I know some are going to judge me but , during summer time I drink alcohol (not as much the rest if the year since I have school ) and I hate when people judge me by saying that all u do is get drunk and that u can't control urself .or that u will end up like ur father .when in fact I can control myself better then most of the adults that are know as "casual drinkers." I just always think of the bs that's going on in the world and how nobody does anything about it ,anyway, I just don;t know what to do ..I can't talk to my parents about anything . I've tried ,but instead of listening .they just give me this bs that ohh its ok it will go away . or its ur fault for doing this or that . and most of what they care about is school.how I do in school .that;s one of the most important things that I do for them . another "problem" I have is . if I see a girl I like . I just can;t get myself to talk to her ,and even if I could .I fell like I have nothing to talk about since I mostly play sports , play video games ,study or listen to music .it just feels like I;m isolated and that people just don't understand what is actually going on .and don't care about what is important for me .they just think they know what I want or what is better for me ,when in fact they don;t. I always think that I will never fit in anywhere
Sorry for taking up ur time and if u read everything ,sorry that I couldn't express myself better , I just had to let some of this out , it just build over time and sometimes it just feels like its to much.

[ksdnfkfr]

You expressed yourself just fine and I know exactly what you are saying.
Most if not all of what you have described applies to many of us here.
So just know that you are not alone in any of this around these parts.

[DarkOmega]

You expressed yourself just fine and I know exactly what you are saying.
Most if not all of what you have described applies to many of us here.
So just know that you are not alone in any of this around these parts.

thx . so what do you do to kinda try to make things work ?

[ksdnfkfr]

I have had a lot of counseling so that has helped a lot.
School counseling, from your school district.
Also posting here and reading what others have said has helped.
When I say helped, I don't mean it has removed my obstacles,
but has helped me understand and deal with them better.
You have a whole mishmash going on and it is hard for you to
sort out on your own. And there is no quick solution. It is something
that I am always working on. There is a lot of times when it takes
all of my will to enter the school on Mondays and not take off.
Making friends in Vegas is harder too. Idk why, but that is what
everyone here says. Too many ppl from too many different places I guess.

[DarkOmega]

I have had a lot of counseling so that has helped a lot.
School counseling, from your school district.
Also posting here and reading what others have said has helped.
When I say helped, I don't mean it has removed my obstacles,
but has helped me understand and deal with them better.
You have a whole mishmash going on and it is hard for you to
sort out on your own. And there is no quick solution. It is something
that I am always working on. There is a lot of times when it takes
all of my will to enter the school on Mondays and not take off.
Making friends in Vegas is harder too. Idk why, but that is what
everyone here says. Too many ppl from too many different places I guess.

yeah..making friends here is kinda hard .. plus I come from a different culture and I do some stuffs differently.. and also I don't want to get any counseling involved in this .. but thx

[ksdnfkfr]

yeah..making friends here is kinda hard .. plus I come from a different culture and I do some stuffs differently.. and also I don't want to get any counseling involved in this .. but thx

That is understandable.
Having a counselor was pretty much unavoidable in my case.
But keep talking about stuff here, that is what this place is for.
A lot of us are dealing with low self esteem, depression,
anxiety, feeling isolated and have social difficulties.

People who do not deal with this stuff personally
every day of their life can not help you much with it.
They just do not get it and say the wrong stuff.

Just know that there are a lot of very special people here who are much
like you. Most of the people here who feel the worst about themselves
are the finest people I know. And I can tell that you are one of them.

[DarkOmega]

That is understandable.
Having a counselor was pretty much unavoidable in my case.
But keep talking about stuff here, that is what this place is for.
A lot of us are dealing with low self esteem, depression,
anxiety, feeling isolated and have social difficulties.

People who do not deal with this stuff personally
every day of their life can not help you much with it.
They just do not get it and say the wrong stuff.

Just know that there are a lot of very special people here who are much
like you. Most of the people here who feel the worst about themselves
are the finest people I know. And I can tell that you are one of them.

thx for the help :).. that;s why I never go to counselors at school or , anywhere , most ,but not all, just give u a temporary solution since they didn;t go through something similar as you

[ksdnfkfr]

thx for the help :).. that;s why I never go to counselors at school or , anywhere , most ,but not all, just give u a temporary solution since they didn;t go through something similar as you

Well the first thing I wanted to help with is letting you
know you can feel safe spilling your guts out here.

A lot of my problems are due to autism
and diagnosed clinical depression and anxiety.
So it is easier for me to be more objective about it.

Do you maybe have any ideas as to what is causing
you feel the way you do?

[DarkOmega]

Well the first thing I wanted to help with is letting you
know you can feel safe spilling your guts out here.

A lot of my problems are due to autism
and diagnosed clinical depression and anxiety.
So it is easier for me to be more objective about it.

Do you maybe have any ideas as to what is causing
you feel the way you do?

clinical depression and anxiety.mostly depression . there's a lot that kept on adding and adding

[ksdnfkfr]

clinical depression and anxiety.mostly depression . there's a lot that kept on adding and adding

It's good that you can name it.
For some kids things are lousy and they
have no idea why.

I don't know why no one else is adding to this thread,
this isn't a private conversation folks.

[NeuroTiger]

I know its stupid for me to even post this ,but I've been holding a lot of stuff in me for a lot of years.
well.I've always had self-esteem problems. I always thought I'm ugly .worthless ,stupid and arrogant .I always find myself depressed and I always have anxiety problems . I can barely talk to people I just met .and even though ,with my friends I always joke around, . I just fell like they don't understand what its really going on with me . can't blame them. I don't even know .I have been suicidal multiple times . the only time I'm "happy" is when I'm with my friends that I grew up with in Romania (that;s where I'm from) every summer , we always hang out and I know some are going to judge me but , during summer time I drink alcohol (not as much the rest if the year since I have school ) and I hate when people judge me by saying that all u do is get drunk and that u can't control urself .or that u will end up like ur father .when in fact I can control myself better then most of the adults that are know as "casual drinkers." I just always think of the bs that's going on in the world and how nobody does anything about it ,anyway, I just don;t know what to do ..I can't talk to my parents about anything . I've tried ,but instead of listening .they just give me this bs that ohh its ok it will go away . or its ur fault for doing this or that . and most of what they care about is school.how I do in school .that;s one of the most important things that I do for them . another "problem" I have is . if I see a girl I like . I just can;t get myself to talk to her ,and even if I could .I fell like I have nothing to talk about since I mostly play sports , play video games ,study or listen to music .it just feels like I;m isolated and that people just don't understand what is actually going on .and don't care about what is important for me .they just think they know what I want or what is better for me ,when in fact they don;t. I always think that I will never fit in anywhere
Sorry for taking up ur time and if u read everything ,sorry that I couldn't express myself better , I just had to let some of this out , it just build over time and sometimes it just feels like its to much.

Well, for us to get a better picture...
Dude, how old are you?
And which year did you come to live in Vegas?
What are the things that you like to do in life?

[DarkOmega]

Well, for us to get a better picture...
Dude, how old are you?
And which year did you come to live in Vegas?
What are the things that you like to do in life?

15
I moved to Las Vegas when I was 9
I like to plat sports .video games .hang out with friends when I can and listen to music a lot

[Living For Love]

clinical depression and anxiety.mostly depression . there's a lot that kept on adding and adding

When you say "there's a lot that kept on adding and adding", what do you mean exactly?

Maybe the problem is that you have a very low image of yourself, and those negative thoughts in your head just keep making it hard for you to talk to people, to trust them, to understand them. I have the same problem, I have these thoughts in my mind when I feel like I just want to die, dissapear, and I tend to feel useless and stuff. Personaly, I try to refugiate myself in my religion, and if you don't feel confortable talking to a counselor, you should start to do something that makes you feel proud of yourself.

[MechaSniper]

There are some people who have a close story to yours

[DarkOmega]

When you say "there's a lot that kept on adding and adding", what do you mean exactly?

Maybe the problem is that you have a very low image of yourself, and those negative thoughts in your head just keep making it hard for you to talk to people, to trust them, to understand them. I have the same problem, I have these thoughts in my mind when I feel like I just want to die, dissapear, and I tend to feel useless and stuff. Personaly, I try to refugiate myself in my religion, and if you don't feel confortable talking to a counselor, you should start to do something that makes you feel proud of yourself.

family problems are a part of it . and when I said a lot kept on adding I mean that I;ve been through a lot of shit that kept on adding up over the years ,and sry to say .but I'm an atheist so that won't work for me .and part of what u said is true also .. ,also I don't know anything that I could do . maybe join a soccer team again since that was my only talent .. and I can't do that since I have so much school work .. I'll try something .. thx for the advice