Lizzyskittey
November 30th, 2013, 11:31 PM
I never thought that I would come to this. Three months ago, if anyone had told me that I would be waiting for mom to get in mother’s car after paying for the motel room we stayed at overnight, so I wouldn’t be able to run off, getting ready to move to a completely different state, I would have just laughed at them and told them they sounded ridiculous. Me? Move somewhere else from my home town with my strict parents? Impossible. I look out the window at the milky blue sky with the early morning sunlight pushing its way through them and wonder where I could have gone wrong, even though I know exactly what I had done and why we were leaving. I know it better than anyone but it feels nice to try and be oblivious, as if none of this had happened.
I remember it clearly, the day that family moved into the house. My mom was outside with me, watering the flowers in our garden that we enjoyed to taking care of. It was a very bright afternoon and the sun seemed to be smiling down at me as its rays of light shone warmly onto my skin. It was then when the white Volvo pulled into the drive way of the house next door.
“Seems like someone new is moving in. I hope they’re nice because the people across the street were so grumpy last time.” Mom had said, causing my body to lightly shake in laughter.
“I’ll go say hi, be right back.” She said, rubbing her palms on the denim material of her jeans then tying her thin blonde hair into a pony tail.
Mom put on the biggest smile she could and began to make her way towards the tall man who had stepped out of the car. It must be a male family, I thought. The sight in front of me proved my thoughts wrong when a female wearing a light blue dress stepped out of the passenger seat of the car. My gaze quickly fell on mom who had frozen in her tracks.
“Get inside, Sopherina,” she commanded in a flat tone.
I tucked a strand of my strawberry blonde hair behind my ear and did as she told me to. That night I heard my parents arguing downstairs. I sat on my bed and tried to make out what they were saying. They never argued until that day.
I sigh, hoping it won’t always be like this. I couldn’t possibly go on thinking about this all the time. Without doubt, my thoughts traveled back to my short memory of him. I had noticed the blonde curly haired boy working on his 1969 Chevy Impala in front of his garage during the first few weeks after the talk I had with mother about staying away from the new family next door. His forehead was constantly covered in grease because of how many times he would swipe the back of his hand across it. After two weeks of thinking I was doing a great job at avoiding them, I got locked out of my house. Mother was out of the state for a business trip and wasn’t going to be home until the following Monday while Mom was gone visiting her friend who lived in New York. I remember leaning against my car and silently cursing at myself for being stupid enough to leave my keys in the ignition after hand-locking it. That’s when he walked up to me out of nowhere.
“Hey.” He said, showing off a charming smile.
I mentally slapped myself for thinking his smile was charming. Although, I had to admit his caramel eyes were appealing. I nodded in reply and hoped he would leave me alone. My parents would be so furious if they found out I was speaking to him.
“I was just worried about you, you seem stressed out.” I tried to think of my options.
If I ask for help from this boy, my parents will probably kill me, but if I don’t then I’ll probably have to spend the night on my car hood seeing as how my phone is dead, I thought.
“Uh, I- my phone died and I’m locked out of my house.” I admit, sighing from embarrassment.
“Hmm, I could help you if you want? I’m sure I could find a charger somewhere in my house that would match your phone, I’m not making any promises though.” He laughed.
I tried to force a smile to not seem rude and stood up, following him to his house. Before stepping into the house, I expected there to be some type of satanic cult equipment hanging all over the walls but, again, I was proved wrong. The living area was filled with beautiful blue and yellow patterned furniture. The whole place was glowing with the word joy. After I put my phone on a charger in the kitchen, I tried to stay as quiet as possible to not make any conversation as I sat down on the love-seat next to the couch the boy was sitting on.
“So, did any of them work?” He asked, turning his attention to me from the movie he was watching.
“Oh, yes. I just left the rest of the chargers on the kitchen counter. I hope that’s okay.” I wished my phone would charge quickly so I could get out of this dreadful situation.
“Yeah, it’s cool. What’s your name? I never did get to ask.” He chuckled, turning the sound of the TV down using the remote on his lap.
I looked at how improperly he was sitting on the couch and thought of all the rude remarks I could make about his posture. “
Sopherina.” I replied, picking at my nails.
“Wow, that’s a cool name. I’m just Nathan, nothing special here.” He joked.
I giggled, wondering why he was being so nice to me.
“Yeah, my parents wanted to go with Sophia but they decided to twist it and make it sound unique.” I admitted, looking down at my no longer fiddling fingers on my lap.
“It sure is unique.” He smiled.
After about an hour of small talk with Nathan, I finally felt relaxed. My phone had already charged and I was on my way outside.
“It was nice having you over.” Nathan smiled warmly, opening the door to let me out so I could join my friend John in his truck.
“Yeah,” I say.
“Despite the fact you’ve been avoiding me.” He laughed.
I completely froze. He isn’t mad, is he? I thought.
“But hey, it’s cool. I get it. We aren’t exactly the type of people to be all friendly with, haha. Anyway, I’ll let you go.” He said, easing the awkward air around us.
I felt relieved and began to walk towards John’s red truck.
“Oh, and Sopherina?” Nathan called behind me.
“Yes?” I turned around and looked at his full body view.
“We’re not that bad, you know, heterosexuals. We’re just different. Think about, okay?” He said, causing me to nod in reply.
I turned back around to get on my way, carefully thinking about the conversation we had earlier and what he just told me.
We’re just different. His words kept replaying in my head the following week. I sighed and tried to bring myself back to reality where I was standing in the mall with mom, in line to get some food.
“You should go talk to that girl, look at how pretty she is.” Mom had nudged me.
I looked at the girl wearing a red skirt, white blouse, and black ballet flats. She did look pretty but I didn’t feel like talking to her, I was busy thinking of Nathan, anyway. I turned away from mom and stared at a clothing store across the food court so she wouldn’t ask me why I didn’t talk to the girl. My vision fixed on someone passing by the store I was staring at. Nathan. He noticed my stare and smiled at me, turning to walk towards me with the boy he was walking next to.
“Hey.” He showed a friendly grin. I could literally feel the tension between mom and I but I smiled back at him. Before I could say anything, mom yanked my hand and began to pull me across the food court towards the exit.
“Sopherina!” Nathan called, probably walking after us.
“She doesn’t want to speak to you.” My mom harshly hissed at him and turned back around to continue dragging me away from him.
“I can’t believe this!” She yelled, hitting both of her palms on the stirring wheel as soon as we got in the car.
“Sophie, why are you speaking to that boy?! Your mother clearly told you to stay away from that family!” Mom scolded me.
“I only said hi to him once before.” I lied.
“You shouldn’t be speaking to him at all!” She screamed, shoving her car key forcefully into the ignition.
I silenced myself and zoned off for the rest of the ride so I wouldn’t have to listen to her. Maybe if everyone wasn’t so against heterosexuals, I wouldn’t have to deal with this, I thought.
Mother stopped at a gas station to fill up the gas tank while Mom left to go to the restroom. I continued to go through my memories of Nathan.
“Hey.” I hear Nathan’s voice in my head as I go back to remembering the night we spoke after a week had passed from my mom’s outburst in the mall. I walked across the dark grass of my front yard over to the side of the fence that separated my house from Nathan’s and leaned on it with my arms crossed on the top. He leaned his back against the fence and looked up at the night sky.
“Who was that at the mall with you last time?” I asked, not feeling as disturbed as I normally would be by him being so close to me.
“It’s my best friend, he was just visiting.” He said.
“Oh, I thought it was your boyfriend or something.” I smiled, somewhat relieved.
“Of course not, my boyfriend is out of town.” My head shot up, looking at his face.
“I thought you were heterosexual?” I asked.
“I am. It was a joke.” He grinned, looking back at me.
I chuckled and shook my head.
“You sure you don’t want to go to the bathroom?” Mom asks and turns around to hear my reply, throwing my thoughts to the side.
I shake my head and she turns her attention back to whatever she was doing.
“Nathan, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve any of it.” I hear my voice as I drift back into my cloud of memories again.
I’m hugging Nathan and moving my hand up and down his back in an attempt to comfort him.
“They were terrible.” He quietly sobbed into my messy hair, the warm breeze of the summer night surrounding us.
“I know, I know. I am so sorry.” I frowned, imagining how much it must hurt to be such an outcast just because of his sexuality.
He’s not even a bad guy, he’s actually really sweet, I thought. I was even quick to assume things about him when I shouldn’t have, I thought. I close my eyes in an attempt to stop myself from letting tears roll down my cheeks as I am reminded of Nathan’s puffy red eyes after he cried into my shoulder that night. How could my parents take me away from him?
“You know, it’s a shame you’re homo…” I hear Nathan again. No, Sophie, stop thinking this. Stop it.
“W-why?” I hear my shaky voice.
“Because…” Oh no.
“I kind of liked you when I first saw you, that first day I came here. You were wearing an apron and watering flowers in your garden. I wanted to walk over to you and talk to you but you went inside as soon as I stepped out of the car.” He said, his cheeks turning a slight shade of pink.
I cover my face with my hands and try to remove Nathan from my mind. Why can’t I stop thinking about him?
“What’s today’s topic?” My mind drifts to a different memory.
Molly is standing in front of me, wearing her favorite light pink dress. “Heteros.” John joined into the conversation, answering Molly’s question for me.
“Ew, don’t you just hate them?” Molly said, causing my white lace dress to feel tight around my stomach. They haven’t even met a heterosexual, how can they be so fast to judge? I remember thinking that and realizing just how hypocritical I was being.
“My dads say they’re all satanic.” John said, taking a sip of his coffee and shoving his hand in the pocket of his dress pants.
I rolled my eyes and walked away to take a seat. Pastor Christopher was talking about God ordering Moselem to kill his own son for sleeping with a woman. I raised my hand out of irritation.
“Yes, Miss Jones, would you like to add anything?” He questions, surprise clear on his face.
“Why is heterosexuality bad?” I asked. I received gasps from several people in reply.
“Because God said so and we must obey Him at all costs.” Pastor Christopher calmly replied, his voice sounded as if he were speaking to a child.
“That doesn’t answer my question.” I snapped and glared at him.
If looks could kill, I’m sure Pastor Christopher would have been on the ground long ago.
“You know what, never mind. Since you can’t answer my question, I’ll go find someone who can.” I stood up and went towards the emergency exit, my low black heels clicking against the stone floor of the church study room.
“She must be a hetero,” someone loudly whispered right before the bright sunlight hit my eyes, blurring my vision.
I remember not knowing what to do or where to go. I did the one thing I knew would be right, call Nathan. He was the reason behind my mind being so jumbled up and my behavior being terrible. There were so many questions going through my mind. Why would people judge others for who they chose to love? Why do we feel the need to despise those people when they’ve done nothing wrong to us? Who is God to tell people who they are allowed to love and who they aren’t allowed to love? Why would he force others to kill people for their sexuality? Who is this great God I’ve been so loyal to my whole life? If that’s really the way he is, he isn’t that great at all then! He is wrong. God is wrong.
I felt furious towards everything as I walked to the Wal-mart next to the church and waited for Nathan to come pick me up after my panicked phone call to him saying I needed him to pick me up. After Nathan drove me to my house, I refused to go home. I simply didn’t want to go back to the cruel reality that is my life. He let me stay at his house for the day and I actually had fun. His parents weren’t anything I thought they would be. I couldn’t stop laughing while Nathan’s mother, Karen, was telling me about a time Nathan’s father and her went to another country for a vacation and lost their entire luggage. I never thought they would be such nice and humorous people. I also noticed the way Nathan’s father looked at Karen that evening; in his eyes, there was that look of complete adoration towards her.
“You can’t make me leave, I am 17 years old and I could leave you if I wanted to!” I screamed at mother.
This was the first time I spoke back to her. After I started spending time with Nathan, my parents found out more about it and they certainly didn’t like it.
“Yes I can, and you will!” She shot back just as harshly.
“I can’t believe this! I find a new friend and you go crazy over it?! Why can’t I be happy for once?” I yell, running my hands through my hair, not believing my own tone of voice towards my mother.
“Friend? You think he is your friend? Sophie, open your eyes! Don’t you see what he’s doing? He’s playing with you and changing you! Sweetie, if you tell me you are still the same way you were two and a half months ago, then we can stay. We can stay here and I will even allow you to speak to the boy sometimes,” Her voice was softer and she was walking towards me to hug me.
“His name is Nathan and I am not leaving, saying hi every once in a while isn’t enough!” I protested and took a step back from her gesture of sincerity, looking at her messy brunette hair to avoid eye contact.
“I guess I don’t have a choice then. We’re leaving. I suggest you start packing.” She said.
“But-“
“No, we are leaving. This conversation is over.” She dismissed me coldly and turned around, stomped away into her room, then slammed the door behind her.
I stood in the same spot for a few minutes, debating whether I should run up to my room or run to Nathan’s place. Of course I do the opposite of what I should and storm out the door.
Mother gets back into the car with some water bottles and hands one to me. I quietly thank her and sit back in my car seat, looking up at the clouds above. The outside world looks so calm and peaceful, the complete opposite of my life right now. I slowly close my eyes and drift back into my memories.
“Sophie, I…” Nathan rubbed the back of his neck.
My eyes were glittering with tears while I sat on the bench in his backyard, looking at the only person in my life that made any sense.
“I think I… love you.” He finally let the words leave his lips.
As soon as they did, I didn’t hesitate for a second to do what I did next. I stood up from the bench, facing Nathan, and looked right into his eyes.
“I- I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-“ He stuttered but finished mid-sentence when my lips suddenly crashed into his.
I had no idea what I was doing but at that moment everything made sense. I felt all the confusion I had been feeling for the past three months leave my mind as he wrapped his strong arms around my waist. I didn’t want to be anywhere else at that moment. Everything made sense. The reason I constantly had those weird fluttering feelings in my stomach when I thought about him. The reason I always got nervous when I was around him. The reason I couldn’t stand anyone talking badly about heterosexuals. I had been one my whole life and I didn’t know it! Society was feeding me all these lies about heterosexuals being so bad but society is wrong. My friends, church, parents, and everyone else had been wrong! Just thinking about it seemed crazy.
I open my eyes and watch the blurry green trees as mother’s car passes them. Even though we are going 70 miles on a highway, everything seems so slow. My whole world was taken away from me and I can’t do anything about it. I felt empty. All those days and nights I spent with Nathan, laughing about movies we’ve watched together or something funny one of us witnessed, all of them seem so long ago. I can still see his smile in my head. I can still remember the scent of his cologne. I can still hear the last thing he said to me before I was dragged away from him.
“I love you, Sophie! Don’t you ever forget that!” From the sidewalk, he yelled at the car as mother drove further away from the street I had known to be home to me my whole life. The past three months of my life seem like some kind of Spanish soap opera. Looking back at it all, I don’t know whether I wish it hadn’t happened or whether I wish it was still happening. I’m lost in thought when I suddenly spot a very familiar car parked in front of a gas station. My eyes widen.
“Mother, I need to go to the restroom! Please stop the car!” I rush my words before she passes the gas station.
“Soph-“
“Mother please!” I beg.
She sighs and gives in, pulling over a few parking spaces away from the 1969 black Chevy Impala. I climb out of the car without a word and rush straight into the gas station. I see him, the boy that had been filling my thoughts for the past 3 months.
“Natha-“ My voice is cut off when I see something I had never thought I would see in my life.
A boy with wavy brown hair walks up to him, puts his arm around him, and kisses him on the cheek. My mind goes blank and all I see is white. I can’t think. I can’t speak. Nathan. My Nathan, the boy who had changed my view on the world was with someone else. He was with a male. My heart begins to sink as I realize what is going on. No, this can’t be happening. My breathing begins to quicken. I think my lungs are canceling on me. I stare at the person I love more than anything and feel my legs shaking.
“Sophie?” Nathan’s voice almost sounds beatific as his expression changes from a frown to a smile.
The boy next to him unwraps his arm around Nathan’s waist and looks at me.
“Is that her?” He asks, smiling at me in a friendly way.
I laugh, literally laugh. Then I feel my cheeks stain with emotions pouring from my eyes. I shut my eyelids and bring myself back together, my hand moves to my mouth to cover my light sobbing. I turn around and begin to run.
“Sophie, wait!”
I hear Nathan call my name before I run through the glass door. Run past the 1969 Chevy Impala I came so used to being in. Run past the deserted parking spots. I get back in the car and lock the door.
“Let’s go,” my voice cracks.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” My mother’s worried voice fills my ears.
“Just drive, please.” I whisper.
Mother starts the car and backs out of the parking space, off onto the highway. I look out the window to see Nathan run outside, his eyes as wide as mine a few seconds ago as he watches Mother’s car drive off into the distance. I sob and think of what a fool I was this whole time. Why was I so quick to think he could actually love me? I laugh at my own misfortune and bite down on my lip to stop myself from crying anymore. I look out the window at the now empty sky that seemed to be filled with clouds of my memories just minutes ago and try to think of all reasons I shouldn’t have been so quick to assume his actions were sincere. I can’t think of a single reason…
Hey, so thanks for reading if you even read it all, haha. This is another assignment I had to do for one of my classes so I thought I'd share because I think it's a really good story. Please don't steal it or claim any rights on it as it is entirely my story. Again, thank you so much for reading! Can't wait to read your feedback! (:
I remember it clearly, the day that family moved into the house. My mom was outside with me, watering the flowers in our garden that we enjoyed to taking care of. It was a very bright afternoon and the sun seemed to be smiling down at me as its rays of light shone warmly onto my skin. It was then when the white Volvo pulled into the drive way of the house next door.
“Seems like someone new is moving in. I hope they’re nice because the people across the street were so grumpy last time.” Mom had said, causing my body to lightly shake in laughter.
“I’ll go say hi, be right back.” She said, rubbing her palms on the denim material of her jeans then tying her thin blonde hair into a pony tail.
Mom put on the biggest smile she could and began to make her way towards the tall man who had stepped out of the car. It must be a male family, I thought. The sight in front of me proved my thoughts wrong when a female wearing a light blue dress stepped out of the passenger seat of the car. My gaze quickly fell on mom who had frozen in her tracks.
“Get inside, Sopherina,” she commanded in a flat tone.
I tucked a strand of my strawberry blonde hair behind my ear and did as she told me to. That night I heard my parents arguing downstairs. I sat on my bed and tried to make out what they were saying. They never argued until that day.
I sigh, hoping it won’t always be like this. I couldn’t possibly go on thinking about this all the time. Without doubt, my thoughts traveled back to my short memory of him. I had noticed the blonde curly haired boy working on his 1969 Chevy Impala in front of his garage during the first few weeks after the talk I had with mother about staying away from the new family next door. His forehead was constantly covered in grease because of how many times he would swipe the back of his hand across it. After two weeks of thinking I was doing a great job at avoiding them, I got locked out of my house. Mother was out of the state for a business trip and wasn’t going to be home until the following Monday while Mom was gone visiting her friend who lived in New York. I remember leaning against my car and silently cursing at myself for being stupid enough to leave my keys in the ignition after hand-locking it. That’s when he walked up to me out of nowhere.
“Hey.” He said, showing off a charming smile.
I mentally slapped myself for thinking his smile was charming. Although, I had to admit his caramel eyes were appealing. I nodded in reply and hoped he would leave me alone. My parents would be so furious if they found out I was speaking to him.
“I was just worried about you, you seem stressed out.” I tried to think of my options.
If I ask for help from this boy, my parents will probably kill me, but if I don’t then I’ll probably have to spend the night on my car hood seeing as how my phone is dead, I thought.
“Uh, I- my phone died and I’m locked out of my house.” I admit, sighing from embarrassment.
“Hmm, I could help you if you want? I’m sure I could find a charger somewhere in my house that would match your phone, I’m not making any promises though.” He laughed.
I tried to force a smile to not seem rude and stood up, following him to his house. Before stepping into the house, I expected there to be some type of satanic cult equipment hanging all over the walls but, again, I was proved wrong. The living area was filled with beautiful blue and yellow patterned furniture. The whole place was glowing with the word joy. After I put my phone on a charger in the kitchen, I tried to stay as quiet as possible to not make any conversation as I sat down on the love-seat next to the couch the boy was sitting on.
“So, did any of them work?” He asked, turning his attention to me from the movie he was watching.
“Oh, yes. I just left the rest of the chargers on the kitchen counter. I hope that’s okay.” I wished my phone would charge quickly so I could get out of this dreadful situation.
“Yeah, it’s cool. What’s your name? I never did get to ask.” He chuckled, turning the sound of the TV down using the remote on his lap.
I looked at how improperly he was sitting on the couch and thought of all the rude remarks I could make about his posture. “
Sopherina.” I replied, picking at my nails.
“Wow, that’s a cool name. I’m just Nathan, nothing special here.” He joked.
I giggled, wondering why he was being so nice to me.
“Yeah, my parents wanted to go with Sophia but they decided to twist it and make it sound unique.” I admitted, looking down at my no longer fiddling fingers on my lap.
“It sure is unique.” He smiled.
After about an hour of small talk with Nathan, I finally felt relaxed. My phone had already charged and I was on my way outside.
“It was nice having you over.” Nathan smiled warmly, opening the door to let me out so I could join my friend John in his truck.
“Yeah,” I say.
“Despite the fact you’ve been avoiding me.” He laughed.
I completely froze. He isn’t mad, is he? I thought.
“But hey, it’s cool. I get it. We aren’t exactly the type of people to be all friendly with, haha. Anyway, I’ll let you go.” He said, easing the awkward air around us.
I felt relieved and began to walk towards John’s red truck.
“Oh, and Sopherina?” Nathan called behind me.
“Yes?” I turned around and looked at his full body view.
“We’re not that bad, you know, heterosexuals. We’re just different. Think about, okay?” He said, causing me to nod in reply.
I turned back around to get on my way, carefully thinking about the conversation we had earlier and what he just told me.
We’re just different. His words kept replaying in my head the following week. I sighed and tried to bring myself back to reality where I was standing in the mall with mom, in line to get some food.
“You should go talk to that girl, look at how pretty she is.” Mom had nudged me.
I looked at the girl wearing a red skirt, white blouse, and black ballet flats. She did look pretty but I didn’t feel like talking to her, I was busy thinking of Nathan, anyway. I turned away from mom and stared at a clothing store across the food court so she wouldn’t ask me why I didn’t talk to the girl. My vision fixed on someone passing by the store I was staring at. Nathan. He noticed my stare and smiled at me, turning to walk towards me with the boy he was walking next to.
“Hey.” He showed a friendly grin. I could literally feel the tension between mom and I but I smiled back at him. Before I could say anything, mom yanked my hand and began to pull me across the food court towards the exit.
“Sopherina!” Nathan called, probably walking after us.
“She doesn’t want to speak to you.” My mom harshly hissed at him and turned back around to continue dragging me away from him.
“I can’t believe this!” She yelled, hitting both of her palms on the stirring wheel as soon as we got in the car.
“Sophie, why are you speaking to that boy?! Your mother clearly told you to stay away from that family!” Mom scolded me.
“I only said hi to him once before.” I lied.
“You shouldn’t be speaking to him at all!” She screamed, shoving her car key forcefully into the ignition.
I silenced myself and zoned off for the rest of the ride so I wouldn’t have to listen to her. Maybe if everyone wasn’t so against heterosexuals, I wouldn’t have to deal with this, I thought.
Mother stopped at a gas station to fill up the gas tank while Mom left to go to the restroom. I continued to go through my memories of Nathan.
“Hey.” I hear Nathan’s voice in my head as I go back to remembering the night we spoke after a week had passed from my mom’s outburst in the mall. I walked across the dark grass of my front yard over to the side of the fence that separated my house from Nathan’s and leaned on it with my arms crossed on the top. He leaned his back against the fence and looked up at the night sky.
“Who was that at the mall with you last time?” I asked, not feeling as disturbed as I normally would be by him being so close to me.
“It’s my best friend, he was just visiting.” He said.
“Oh, I thought it was your boyfriend or something.” I smiled, somewhat relieved.
“Of course not, my boyfriend is out of town.” My head shot up, looking at his face.
“I thought you were heterosexual?” I asked.
“I am. It was a joke.” He grinned, looking back at me.
I chuckled and shook my head.
“You sure you don’t want to go to the bathroom?” Mom asks and turns around to hear my reply, throwing my thoughts to the side.
I shake my head and she turns her attention back to whatever she was doing.
“Nathan, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve any of it.” I hear my voice as I drift back into my cloud of memories again.
I’m hugging Nathan and moving my hand up and down his back in an attempt to comfort him.
“They were terrible.” He quietly sobbed into my messy hair, the warm breeze of the summer night surrounding us.
“I know, I know. I am so sorry.” I frowned, imagining how much it must hurt to be such an outcast just because of his sexuality.
He’s not even a bad guy, he’s actually really sweet, I thought. I was even quick to assume things about him when I shouldn’t have, I thought. I close my eyes in an attempt to stop myself from letting tears roll down my cheeks as I am reminded of Nathan’s puffy red eyes after he cried into my shoulder that night. How could my parents take me away from him?
“You know, it’s a shame you’re homo…” I hear Nathan again. No, Sophie, stop thinking this. Stop it.
“W-why?” I hear my shaky voice.
“Because…” Oh no.
“I kind of liked you when I first saw you, that first day I came here. You were wearing an apron and watering flowers in your garden. I wanted to walk over to you and talk to you but you went inside as soon as I stepped out of the car.” He said, his cheeks turning a slight shade of pink.
I cover my face with my hands and try to remove Nathan from my mind. Why can’t I stop thinking about him?
“What’s today’s topic?” My mind drifts to a different memory.
Molly is standing in front of me, wearing her favorite light pink dress. “Heteros.” John joined into the conversation, answering Molly’s question for me.
“Ew, don’t you just hate them?” Molly said, causing my white lace dress to feel tight around my stomach. They haven’t even met a heterosexual, how can they be so fast to judge? I remember thinking that and realizing just how hypocritical I was being.
“My dads say they’re all satanic.” John said, taking a sip of his coffee and shoving his hand in the pocket of his dress pants.
I rolled my eyes and walked away to take a seat. Pastor Christopher was talking about God ordering Moselem to kill his own son for sleeping with a woman. I raised my hand out of irritation.
“Yes, Miss Jones, would you like to add anything?” He questions, surprise clear on his face.
“Why is heterosexuality bad?” I asked. I received gasps from several people in reply.
“Because God said so and we must obey Him at all costs.” Pastor Christopher calmly replied, his voice sounded as if he were speaking to a child.
“That doesn’t answer my question.” I snapped and glared at him.
If looks could kill, I’m sure Pastor Christopher would have been on the ground long ago.
“You know what, never mind. Since you can’t answer my question, I’ll go find someone who can.” I stood up and went towards the emergency exit, my low black heels clicking against the stone floor of the church study room.
“She must be a hetero,” someone loudly whispered right before the bright sunlight hit my eyes, blurring my vision.
I remember not knowing what to do or where to go. I did the one thing I knew would be right, call Nathan. He was the reason behind my mind being so jumbled up and my behavior being terrible. There were so many questions going through my mind. Why would people judge others for who they chose to love? Why do we feel the need to despise those people when they’ve done nothing wrong to us? Who is God to tell people who they are allowed to love and who they aren’t allowed to love? Why would he force others to kill people for their sexuality? Who is this great God I’ve been so loyal to my whole life? If that’s really the way he is, he isn’t that great at all then! He is wrong. God is wrong.
I felt furious towards everything as I walked to the Wal-mart next to the church and waited for Nathan to come pick me up after my panicked phone call to him saying I needed him to pick me up. After Nathan drove me to my house, I refused to go home. I simply didn’t want to go back to the cruel reality that is my life. He let me stay at his house for the day and I actually had fun. His parents weren’t anything I thought they would be. I couldn’t stop laughing while Nathan’s mother, Karen, was telling me about a time Nathan’s father and her went to another country for a vacation and lost their entire luggage. I never thought they would be such nice and humorous people. I also noticed the way Nathan’s father looked at Karen that evening; in his eyes, there was that look of complete adoration towards her.
“You can’t make me leave, I am 17 years old and I could leave you if I wanted to!” I screamed at mother.
This was the first time I spoke back to her. After I started spending time with Nathan, my parents found out more about it and they certainly didn’t like it.
“Yes I can, and you will!” She shot back just as harshly.
“I can’t believe this! I find a new friend and you go crazy over it?! Why can’t I be happy for once?” I yell, running my hands through my hair, not believing my own tone of voice towards my mother.
“Friend? You think he is your friend? Sophie, open your eyes! Don’t you see what he’s doing? He’s playing with you and changing you! Sweetie, if you tell me you are still the same way you were two and a half months ago, then we can stay. We can stay here and I will even allow you to speak to the boy sometimes,” Her voice was softer and she was walking towards me to hug me.
“His name is Nathan and I am not leaving, saying hi every once in a while isn’t enough!” I protested and took a step back from her gesture of sincerity, looking at her messy brunette hair to avoid eye contact.
“I guess I don’t have a choice then. We’re leaving. I suggest you start packing.” She said.
“But-“
“No, we are leaving. This conversation is over.” She dismissed me coldly and turned around, stomped away into her room, then slammed the door behind her.
I stood in the same spot for a few minutes, debating whether I should run up to my room or run to Nathan’s place. Of course I do the opposite of what I should and storm out the door.
Mother gets back into the car with some water bottles and hands one to me. I quietly thank her and sit back in my car seat, looking up at the clouds above. The outside world looks so calm and peaceful, the complete opposite of my life right now. I slowly close my eyes and drift back into my memories.
“Sophie, I…” Nathan rubbed the back of his neck.
My eyes were glittering with tears while I sat on the bench in his backyard, looking at the only person in my life that made any sense.
“I think I… love you.” He finally let the words leave his lips.
As soon as they did, I didn’t hesitate for a second to do what I did next. I stood up from the bench, facing Nathan, and looked right into his eyes.
“I- I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-“ He stuttered but finished mid-sentence when my lips suddenly crashed into his.
I had no idea what I was doing but at that moment everything made sense. I felt all the confusion I had been feeling for the past three months leave my mind as he wrapped his strong arms around my waist. I didn’t want to be anywhere else at that moment. Everything made sense. The reason I constantly had those weird fluttering feelings in my stomach when I thought about him. The reason I always got nervous when I was around him. The reason I couldn’t stand anyone talking badly about heterosexuals. I had been one my whole life and I didn’t know it! Society was feeding me all these lies about heterosexuals being so bad but society is wrong. My friends, church, parents, and everyone else had been wrong! Just thinking about it seemed crazy.
I open my eyes and watch the blurry green trees as mother’s car passes them. Even though we are going 70 miles on a highway, everything seems so slow. My whole world was taken away from me and I can’t do anything about it. I felt empty. All those days and nights I spent with Nathan, laughing about movies we’ve watched together or something funny one of us witnessed, all of them seem so long ago. I can still see his smile in my head. I can still remember the scent of his cologne. I can still hear the last thing he said to me before I was dragged away from him.
“I love you, Sophie! Don’t you ever forget that!” From the sidewalk, he yelled at the car as mother drove further away from the street I had known to be home to me my whole life. The past three months of my life seem like some kind of Spanish soap opera. Looking back at it all, I don’t know whether I wish it hadn’t happened or whether I wish it was still happening. I’m lost in thought when I suddenly spot a very familiar car parked in front of a gas station. My eyes widen.
“Mother, I need to go to the restroom! Please stop the car!” I rush my words before she passes the gas station.
“Soph-“
“Mother please!” I beg.
She sighs and gives in, pulling over a few parking spaces away from the 1969 black Chevy Impala. I climb out of the car without a word and rush straight into the gas station. I see him, the boy that had been filling my thoughts for the past 3 months.
“Natha-“ My voice is cut off when I see something I had never thought I would see in my life.
A boy with wavy brown hair walks up to him, puts his arm around him, and kisses him on the cheek. My mind goes blank and all I see is white. I can’t think. I can’t speak. Nathan. My Nathan, the boy who had changed my view on the world was with someone else. He was with a male. My heart begins to sink as I realize what is going on. No, this can’t be happening. My breathing begins to quicken. I think my lungs are canceling on me. I stare at the person I love more than anything and feel my legs shaking.
“Sophie?” Nathan’s voice almost sounds beatific as his expression changes from a frown to a smile.
The boy next to him unwraps his arm around Nathan’s waist and looks at me.
“Is that her?” He asks, smiling at me in a friendly way.
I laugh, literally laugh. Then I feel my cheeks stain with emotions pouring from my eyes. I shut my eyelids and bring myself back together, my hand moves to my mouth to cover my light sobbing. I turn around and begin to run.
“Sophie, wait!”
I hear Nathan call my name before I run through the glass door. Run past the 1969 Chevy Impala I came so used to being in. Run past the deserted parking spots. I get back in the car and lock the door.
“Let’s go,” my voice cracks.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” My mother’s worried voice fills my ears.
“Just drive, please.” I whisper.
Mother starts the car and backs out of the parking space, off onto the highway. I look out the window to see Nathan run outside, his eyes as wide as mine a few seconds ago as he watches Mother’s car drive off into the distance. I sob and think of what a fool I was this whole time. Why was I so quick to think he could actually love me? I laugh at my own misfortune and bite down on my lip to stop myself from crying anymore. I look out the window at the now empty sky that seemed to be filled with clouds of my memories just minutes ago and try to think of all reasons I shouldn’t have been so quick to assume his actions were sincere. I can’t think of a single reason…
Hey, so thanks for reading if you even read it all, haha. This is another assignment I had to do for one of my classes so I thought I'd share because I think it's a really good story. Please don't steal it or claim any rights on it as it is entirely my story. Again, thank you so much for reading! Can't wait to read your feedback! (: