Is there truly someone out there for me?

[dreamofdante]

I've been wondering on and on how there could possibly be someone out there for me that would even want me. First thing's first.

https://scontent-a-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/539782_402657889867120_1654317769_n.jpg

That's me. You can clearly see I'm not that good looking at all. Now to add to that:

-I have a sarcastic sense of humor that can get really dark sometimes and maybe even sometimes I'll be the only one that will find it funny. Dark humor is just funny to me.

-My abdomen is full of stretch marks and I have acne on my chest so that right there is very unattractive.

-I'm slightly overweight and I know most women don't like that.

-My penis is small and it's the smallest I've ever seen on a man.

-My main interests are filmmaking and writing and not much else except hanging out with people.

-I love to help people but sometimes just want to be left alone.

-I like a crazy amount of music and whoever she would be would have to accept what I like.

So with this being said, do you honestly think there's any chance for me to find someone out there that will love me for what I am and at the same time, I love her because of how close we are? Call me crazy, but it sounds improbable...

[Stronk Serb]

There are chances. Don't stress about your looks.

[dreamofdante]

There are chances. Don't stress about your looks.

You have to admit that they do matter to a certain extent.

[Stronk Serb]

You have to admit that they do matter to a certain extent.

Yes, but if you have confidence and don't see yourself ugly, you will have better chances. Be proud of yourself.

[dreamofdante]

I've been rejected by every girl I've ever asked out and I've been called ugly over a hundred thousand times. It's hard to be proud of myself but I see what you mean. Apparently confidence is the trick...

[Saint of Sinners]

Look dude, I think you're approaching things from the wrong angle. " how there could possibly be someone out there" ? That's simply self depreciating and just...wrong.

Well, let me tell you right now. Somebody's out there for you. I know you might think otherwise, but trust me, somebody will realize that your'e perfect for her. Anybody that looks down on you ain't worth your time.

[dreamofdante]

Look dude, I think you're approaching things from the wrong angle. " how there could possibly be someone out there" ? That's simply self depreciating and just...wrong.

Well, let me tell you right now. Somebody's out there for you. I know you might think otherwise, but trust me, somebody will realize that your'e perfect for her. Anybody that looks down on you ain't worth your time.

I agree that people who look down on me aren't worth my time and I try to disassociate with people like that. I try to go for the nicest people and women possible but when it comes to relationships, I see the worst in people come out. I don't know why that happens. It's like the universe's way of telling me I'm supposed to be alone. If she's out there then she must be really something...

[Saint of Sinners]

Then she is really something. Have some faith in her.

In the meantime, don't let this get you down. Put yourself in her shoes. Would you want your partner to be sad because he/she thinks you don't exist?

Take care bro:)

[luq_]

There are 7 billion people on earth, approx. 51% female. That's 3570000000 women. ok, some are too far away to get the chance to meet them, others don't fit in your age group, but still, it's an impressive number. What are the odds that none of 1+ billion of girls [will/are] like you ?

[Seemyheart]

Always have faith in yourself, and whoever can't see how great you are, they don't deserve you, not the other way around

[dreamofdante]

Then she is really something. Have some faith in her.

In the meantime, don't let this get you down. Put yourself in her shoes. Would you want your partner to be sad because he/she thinks you don't exist?

Take care bro:)

I wouldn't. But I wonder about her mental health if she wants me haha.

[dreamofdante]

There are 7 billion people on earth, approx. 51% female. That's 3570000000 women. ok, some are too far away to get the chance to meet them, others don't fit in your age group, but still, it's an impressive number. What are the odds that none of 1+ billion of girls [will/are] like you ?

Surprisingly high actually. At least for me it has been...

[dreamofdante]

Always have faith in yourself, and whoever can't see how great you are, they don't deserve you, not the other way around

So no one deserves me instead of the other way around of me not deserving them?

[shotgungirl]

I know I've had this talk with you before but I am going to have it again (you'll have to excuse I turn into a mother figure very easily).

There is a reason that we are all made the way we are. If you don't like something about yourself, then take the effort to change it. If you can't change it, then accept it because it is meant to be. As much as you don't believe it and tell yourself that it is not true, there is a beautiful, wonderful girl out there waiting for a guy like you. You can't force love. You can't go out looking for it, you have to just let it happen. You are young. You have your whole life ahead of you to find someone that will love you and will happily accept whatever flaws you see within yourself.

In the mean time, you have to learn to accept yourself. You can never truly love someone else unless you love yourself. And let me be the standing example of that. I used to throw myself at anything that would walk by and smile at me because I needed the attention of others to distract my mind from the fact that I hated myself. Over time I finally learned to accept who I am and be proud of the skin that I was blessed with, and whatdoyaknow, now I have an amazing guy who loves me for all of my flaws, as I do for him.

Stay positive, Jack.

[dreamofdante]

I know I've had this talk with you before but I am going to have it again (you'll have to excuse I turn into a mother figure very easily).

There is a reason that we are all made the way we are. If you don't like something about yourself, then take the effort to change it. If you can't change it, then accept it because it is meant to be. As much as you don't believe it and tell yourself that it is not true, there is a beautiful, wonderful girl out there waiting for a guy like you. You can't force love. You can't go out looking for it, you have to just let it happen. You are young. You have your whole life ahead of you to find someone that will love you and will happily accept whatever flaws you see within yourself.

In the mean time, you have to learn to accept yourself. You can never truly love someone else unless you love yourself. And let me be the standing example of that. I used to throw myself at anything that would walk by and smile at me because I needed the attention of others to distract my mind from the fact that I hated myself. Over time I finally learned to accept who I am and be proud of the skin that I was blessed with, and whatdoyaknow, now I have an amazing guy who loves me for all of my flaws, as I do for him.

Stay positive, Jack.

Do you have any tips on how I can start to like myself again? I'm to the point of despising myself and it'll be really hard to come back from this.

[shotgungirl]

Do you have any tips on how I can start to like myself again? I'm to the point of despising myself and it'll be really hard to come back from this.

Well, unfortunately, because I suffer from depression and PTSD, I had to go through lots of counseling. But, I started giving myself "me" time. Doing things that bettered myself and I had lots of fun for me. A big one for me was pole dancing. Nothing got me in better shape and made me feel more sexy than that. And yoga. It brought a lot of ease to my mind. Whatever hobbies you are passionate about, work hard at them!

[dreamofdante]

Well, unfortunately, because I suffer from depression and PTSD, I had to go through lots of counseling. But, I started giving myself "me" time. Doing things that bettered myself and I had lots of fun for me. A big one for me was pole dancing. Nothing got me in better shape and made me feel more sexy than that. And yoga. It brought a lot of ease to my mind. Whatever hobbies you are passionate about, work hard at them!

Filmmaking and writing are my only real passions. Can't say as either one of them makes me feel sexy though hahahahaha

[shotgungirl]

Filmmaking and writing are my only real passions. Can't say as either one of them makes me feel sexy though hahahahaha

Well it doesn't have to make you feel sexy! :P I just needed that because I work in a man's world (diesel mechanic in the Navy) and felt like all of my femininity was stripped from me.

If you love doing that, don't let anybody hold you back. Go create something great. I actually think that is kind of cool because you have a creative mind and can see things differently than most people and I really respect that.

[dreamofdante]

Well it doesn't have to make you feel sexy! :P I just needed that because I work in a man's world (diesel mechanic in the Navy) and felt like all of my femininity was stripped from me.

If you love doing that, don't let anybody hold you back. Go create something great. I actually think that is kind of cool because you have a creative mind and can see things differently than most people and I really respect that.

Thanks :) I wanted to make this trilogy I'm writing in case anything ever happens to me. It's kind of like something I feel I really have to do. It's been close to my heart for nearly three years and the story really means a lot to me. Do you know what I mean?

[HeyMrsTambourine]

Okay... So I've replied to your message and ignore where it's gone... Anyway.

The only thing I notice here, is that you draw up a list of all the things you don't like in yourself. It's like you tried to scare people, not to be disappointed. It's kind of a way to protect yourself.
Just try to make a list with positive things about you, which are many I think.
Good luck

[dreamofdante]

Okay... So I've replied to your message and ignore where it's gone... Anyway.

The only thing I notice here, is that you draw up a list of all the things you don't like in yourself. It's like you tried to scare people, not to be disappointed. It's kind of a way to protect yourself.
Just try to make a list with positive things about you, which are many I think.
Good luck

Talented writer.
Talented filmmaker.
(hopefully with the top two)
I'm a nice and caring guy.
I'm protective of those I care about.

That's all I like about myself.

[HeyMrsTambourine]

You don't have to be more, it's already great.

[dreamofdante]

You don't have to be more, it's already great.

That's good enough for people?

[HeyMrsTambourine]

That's good enough for people?

Yes, don't worry. There are a lot of people who don't have all these things, and they feel good about themselves. And they're happier than you.

[dreamofdante]

Yes, don't worry. There are a lot of people who don't have all these things, and they feel good about themselves. And they're happier than you.

If women started showing interest in me I might start to feel better and see my chances but none of them do. And it doesn't help that my winter depression is coming on so I'll be thinking about it even more.

[HeyMrsTambourine]

[QUOTE=jack1995;2597631]If women started showing interest in me I might start to feel better and see my chances but none of them do. And it doesn't help that my winter depression is coming on so I'll be thinking about it even more.[/QOTE]

Maybe you should open doors to women and not to block your mind just because you think you don't deserve their interest. There's a big part of it, it's clear.
There are no people on earth who are condemned to stay alone. You'll find someone if you want to, and that's the question. I assure you it's harder to know than it seems.

[dreamofdante]

[QUOTE=jack1995;2597631]If women started showing interest in me I might start to feel better and see my chances but none of them do. And it doesn't help that my winter depression is coming on so I'll be thinking about it even more.[/QOTE]

Maybe you should open doors to women and not to block your mind just because you think you don't deserve their interest. There's a big part of it, it's clear.
There are no people on earth who are condemned to stay alone. You'll find someone if you want to, and that's the question. I assure you it's harder to know than it seems.

Well all the women I know don't want me so it sounds like people need to introduce me to some more haha.

[HeyMrsTambourine]

[QUOTE=HeyMrsTambourine;2597684]

Well all the women I know don't want me so it sounds like people need to introduce me to some more haha.

I haven't been bullied as much as you but I've lived some horrible things that should digust me of men for ever. Everyone leaves : family, "friends", boys I liked too much. When I walk on the street, I just feel so minute and insignifiant and I want to cry.
And you know what ? I still think that someday I'll get married. Maybe I should't. But I won't let go this tremendous source of hope.

[dreamofdante]

[QUOTE=jack1995;2597687]

I haven't been bullied as much as you but I've lived some horrible things that should digust me of men for ever. Everyone leaves : family, "friends", boys I liked too much. When I walk on the street, I just feel so minute and insignifiant and I want to cry.
And you know what ? I still think that someday I'll get married. Maybe I should't. But I won't let go this tremendous source of hope.

Can we talk somewhere out of here? Like in private so you can talk about things. I want to hear more about your experiences but you can't PM.

[HeyMrsTambourine]

[QUOTE=HeyMrsTambourine;2597716]

Can we talk somewhere out of here? Like in private so you can talk about things. I want to hear more about your experiences but you can't PM.

Yes I'd like too. But indeed I don't know how to proceed...

[dreamofdante]

[QUOTE=jack1995;2597720]

Yes I'd like too. But indeed I don't know how to proceed...

[email protected]

That's my email if you want to talk that way. If not we can find out through there. :)

[HeyMrsTambourine]

[QUOTE=HeyMrsTambourine;2597725]

[email protected]

That's my email if you want to talk that way. If not we can find out through there. :)

Ok, I'll send you a message tomorrow.
Now I'm going to bed 'cause it's late in my country. Good night :)

[dreamofdante]

[QUOTE=jack1995;2597727]

Ok, I'll send you a message tomorrow.
Now I'm going to bed 'cause it's late in my country. Good night :)

Alright fair enough. Goodnight.

[sqishy]

I agree with everyone above in the advice.
But you know my side of this.
*hugs*

[dreamofdante]

I agree with everyone above in the advice.
But you know my side of this.
*hugs*

I know :(

[Bilbo Baggins]

Ok... DUDE. WAKE UP. You are plenty good looking, and no offense, but don't worry 'bout your penis. There is always someone out there, for every human being on this messed-upped planet that we've greatly fucked up with politics and wars and prejeduce. Never judge yourself, because I once did, and... I almost did... what I thought... was a favor to the world by removing myself from it... permentaly.

[dreamofdante]

Ok... DUDE. WAKE UP. You are plenty good looking, and no offense, but don't worry 'bout your penis. There is always someone out there, for every human being on this messed-upped planet that we've greatly fucked up with politics and wars and prejeduce. Never judge yourself, because I once did, and... I almost did... what I thought... was a favor to the world by removing myself from it... permentaly.

I've judged myself for a very long time, man.