I'm Dying

[Jessiibear]

Well, I'm dead. I mean, I'm breathing and blinking and my heart is still beating but I don't feel alive. Then of course, I don't actually know how it feels to be dead. I'm just numb, drifting through dim days, trying to keep a smile on my face. I still don't have any real life friends...not even acquaintances (literally no human interaction going on). I asked a bunch of people online for different methods to kill yourself--quick and easy ones, ones that I haven't tried before.

I'm really planning. This is really happening...

Some people say it's selfish and stuff, but after every fucking thing I've been through and continue to face, it's selfish for those people to want me to stay for them and suffer. I cry for help, get none, plan to commit suicide, then get people saying "No! It's so selfish and cowardice!" Then I just chill here with no one actually helping me. Does that even make sense?!? :confused:

People say shit gets better. But there comes a time where sitting alone in a cold, dirty corner barely clothed getting yelled at, spit at, laughed at gets to be too much. What do you do? Sit there with a cocky grin on your face, ignoring the bullshit? Try getting off your ass and pushing them all back despite the strain it puts on your muscles? Or do you close your eyes and deteriorate?

They say you could either choose to be the victim or the survivor. And to tell you the honest truth, I don't want to die. I just want to start living.

[Dark Unicorn]

Well, I'm dead. I mean, I'm breathing and blinking and my heart is still beating but I don't feel alive. Then of course, I don't actually know how it feels to be dead. I'm just numb, drifting through dim days, trying to keep a smile on my face. I still don't have any real life friends...not even acquaintances (literally no human interaction going on). I asked a bunch of people online for different methods to kill yourself--quick and easy ones, ones that I haven't tried before.

I'm really planning. This is really happening...

Some people say it's selfish and stuff, but after every fucking thing I've been through and continue to face, it's selfish for those people to want me to stay for them and suffer. I cry for help, get none, plan to commit suicide, then get people saying "No! It's so selfish and cowardice!" Then I just chill here with no one actually helping me. Does that even make sense?!? :confused:

People say shit gets better. But there comes a time where sitting alone in a cold, dirty corner barely clothed getting yelled at, spit at, laughed at gets to be too much. What do you do? Sit there with a cocky grin on your face, ignoring the bullshit? Try getting off your ass and pushing them all back despite the strain it puts on your muscles? Or do you close your eyes and deteriorate?

They say you could either choose to be the victim or the survivor. And to tell you the honest truth, I don't want to die. I just want to start living.

Okay,seriously Jessica PLEASE don't kill yourself.When I read this I was pretty much bawling my eyes out because nothing pains me more than seeing beautiful people suffer.And I may not know you but I say beautiful because I just read your response to someone else's post who was suicidal and you said lovely,inspiring things to them.And that is just the tip of the iceberg I'm sure.If you need to talk or someone to listen to you I will gladly communicate with you in any way that conviniences you the most(if I am able to).Please contact me as soon as you get this.I'm not promising anything but I will try my best to help you.You deserve love and happiness.Even if you don't feel up to it,what will you lose from contacting me?I have never and will never believe that suicide is a sign of selfishness or cowardice.It's a cry for help,a sign that you are going through more than you can handle.The fact that you have carried on this far is immensely commendable and only says that you are brave,if anything.So talk to me.Best wishes.

[satarra3180]

Okay,seriously Jessica PLEASE don't kill yourself.When I read this I was pretty much bawling my eyes out because nothing pains me more than seeing beautiful people suffer.And I may not know you but I say beautiful because I just read your response to someone else's post who was suicidal and you said lovely,inspiring things to them.And that is just the tip of the iceberg I'm sure.If you need to talk or someone to listen to you I will gladly communicate with you in any way that conviniences you the most(if I am able to).Please contact me as soon as you get this.I'm not promising anything but I will try my best to help you.You deserve love and happiness.Even if you don't feel up to it,what will you lose from contacting me?I have never and will never believe that suicide is a sign of selfishness or cowardice.It's a cry for help,a sign that you are going through more than you can handle.The fact that you have carried on this far is immensely commendable and only says that you are brave,if anything.So talk to me.Best wishes.

I second everything that was said here. You are a beautiful person, deserving of happiness. Not much that can be said to reverse the pain you feel but I'm here to help in any way too.

[Moth]

There's not much to say besides I know what it's like to be alone.
I'm in the same boat pretty much and it is pretty awful, it does kill you inside. It's so easy to completely disregard the whole.. "Oh it gets better", yet so hard to believe it? But I think it does, maybe I hope it does.. I don't know.

But! What helps me is the thought that all this pain will someday be worth it. One day I will wake up and just have the best day of my life.. And it could be the only great day I ever have, but it will be worth it because of the contrast between heartbreak and joy. So no it's not cowardice to commit suicide, it's just a crying shame that someone has lived through bad days without that one redeeming moment in life.


They say you could either choose to be the victim or the survivor. And to tell you the honest truth, I don't want to die. I just want to start living.

Quite beautiful this, might think this to myself the next time I feel really down.

I do hope you get better! :(