Boyfriend self conscious about penis size?

[henry5331]

Has anyone had to deal with this before? Boyfriend is self conscious about his penis size. He thinks he's small. He isn't and even if he was it doesn't matter to me. I tried explaining it to him but he thinks I'm "just being nice." I don't know what to say to him. It's starting to come between us and I don't want it to.

[Living For Love]

Just tell him you love him the way he is, and that you're totally satisfied with him. I kind of understand his position, it's difficult to really get those thoughs out of the head, but make sure he understands you like him as a person, not only his penis or something.

[sqishy]

Just tell him you love him the way he is, and that you're totally satisfied with him. I kind of understand his position, it's difficult to really get those thoughs out of the head, but make sure he understands you like him as a person, not only his penis or something.

This ^ .

A lot of us have at least a moment when we find your penis length/size too small, and it is hard to remove the worry or fear. As said above, try to make him know that you are fine with him no matter what.

[Jefflikespie]

Has anyone had to deal with this before? Boyfriend is self conscious about his penis size. He thinks he's small. He isn't and even if he was it doesn't matter to me. I tried explaining it to him but he thinks I'm "just being nice." I don't know what to say to him. It's starting to come between us and I don't want it to.

Well, to be fair you do post a lot about how big yours is and how much you like your size and want to be even bigger. This does indicate that even if you don't admit it you do have a bias for larger penises. If you make comments of this sort in his presense, I wouldn't fault him for feeling insecure. Anyway, out of curiosity, what does he consider to be small?

[nklarke]

Has anyone had to deal with this before? Boyfriend is self conscious about his penis size. He thinks he's small. He isn't and even if he was it doesn't matter to me. I tried explaining it to him but he thinks I'm "just being nice." I don't know what to say to him. It's starting to come between us and I don't want it to.

Do you have sex with him?

[ksdnfkfr]

Don't talk about size with him.

[Lost in the Echo]

Teen Sexuality :arrow: P101

[henry5331]

Don't talk about size with him.

He's the one that brings it up.

Do you have sex with him?

Yes.

[ryzzz9]

I don't think any good comes of lying. Is he actually small, and are you just being nice when you say he isn't? If he is actually small, you just have to level with him and tell him that it doesn't matter, even though he is small. If it isn't, then why is he insisting it is? Sounds like it might be a confidence issue generally more than a penis size issue.

[ksdnfkfr]

He's the one that brings it up.

I figured that was the case.
It's a difficult situation.
You don't want to be a jerk and shut him down.
But him continuing to bring it up is causing friction.

[henry5331]

I figured that was the case.
It's a difficult situation.
You don't want to be a jerk and shut him down.
But him continuing to bring it up is causing friction.

Yup. You see my problem. His ex picked on him all the time about everything about him. It was all bullshit but he was really hurt by it and now I'm just trying to help him get past all that. He's stuck on his dick being small and it isn't. :confused:

[Dark Hatred]

This ^ .

A lot of us have at least a moment when we find your penis length/size too small, and it is hard to remove the worry or fear. As said above, try to make him know that you are fine with him no matter what.

Everybody thinks they are small.

[Lil.k8]

ask him if it feels good for him and tell him it feels good to you tell him that his penis is only one of his amazing features and that his lips and hands are just as imortant. the only people who his size effects is you 2 so aslong as you like it he has nothing to be worried about

[Mich015]

I don't think any good comes of lying. Is he actually small, and are you just being nice when you say he isn't? If he is actually small, you just have to level with him and tell him that it doesn't matter, even though he is small. If it isn't, then why is he insisting it is? Sounds like it might be a confidence issue generally more than a penis size issue.

I have to agree. If he really is small, trying to convince him hes not is hurtful and insulting. be honest honest that yea its small but it satisfies you and you love him the way he is. If he really isnt small then hes got inseurities you need to just bear with him. Good luck!

[Taryn98]

Low self esteem/lack of confidence is the single biggest turnoff no matter what causes it. Also, I can't think of anything worse than when guys are hung up on penis size. It shows a clear lack of maturity in that they have no idea what is important in a relationship or what I want from them.

[henry5331]

So I guess we had a break through. He's getting better. We're both definitely happier. :)

[SweetFang]

This isn't scientific or anything. It's just my opinion.

I think there two kinds of self conscious and it applies to both guys and penis and girls and boobs. (It can apply to other body parts but I will just focus on penis. You should be able to apply it to other things).

1) This is the kind of self conscious that most people have. A boy sees another boy around his age naked. This other boy has a big flaccid penis or worse yet he gets hard and is above average, much bigger than the watcher's penis. For whatever reason the watcher boy sees the other boy as ideal and the way a boy is supposed to be.

When a boy has an image in his mind about what a penis is "supposed" to be like, then chances are, he will never be happy with his until it looks like his ideal. Women have implants for this exact reason.

2) The other kind of self conscious is where the person doesn't have an ideal in mind. He is happy with his body and likes his body but is worried that his partner won't like his body. The is much easier to cure by the partner really telling the guy over and over how much his body is a real turn on.
(This is the kind I have)

Good Luck!

[Cloud_Strife]

Has anyone had to deal with this before? Boyfriend is self conscious about his penis size. He thinks he's small. He isn't and even if he was it doesn't matter to me. I tried explaining it to him but he thinks I'm "just being nice." I don't know what to say to him. It's starting to come between us and I don't want it to.

Society often has us identify 'manliness' with phallus size a lot by attaching the stigma of virility to it. In truth, there's more to what makes a man than their size downstairs. Self-consciousness definitely sounds like it's playing a part. As already mentioned by someone else, what matters most is the relationship you have with him - the thoughts of his ex-partner in the past should play no part in what is happening in the present now, with you. Secondly, it's probably a matter of mindset and I think you should probably highlight that point I raised above - that societal message is a wrong one and really should be cleared up. Help him realise this and I think you'll be well on your way to making things better.

Hope that helps!

[NeuroTiger]

Show him proof that his size is fine...;)

[henry5331]

Show him proof that his size is fine...;)

He's getting the message these days. ;)

Everyone thanks for replying. Things are getting better between us now. But any advice you give I'll read. :)

[Menzis]

Most boys who think they are below average are mostly above average or average.

[Cloud_Strife]

Good to hear things are much better now mate!

[henry5331]

Most boys who think they are below average are mostly above average or average.

He is. Funny thing is his ex really wasn't all that much bigger than him. So I think it had more to do with the ex's feelings about his own dick than about my boyfriend's. He's seeing that now. This is a good thing.