EmptySoul
November 22nd, 2013, 02:55 AM
my Gramps died today and I've just posted in another forum about how I haven't cried since we (my family) have been told for weeks that his health has been deteriorating and so to be 'prepared for the worst' so I think that I've come to accept it. the thing is I haven't cried because I'm almost afraid that if I do I'll start SH again, because the last time we were told he wouldn't 'last very long' was earlier in the year and its what triggered me to start again. And I know its healthy to cry and get it out but I feel that if I start crying my sister and I are going to clash because we are both emotional, I just don't know how to dealt with other peoples grief coz I feel like that they need to get it out of their system so they can move on but I can't talk about my feelings because they just don't want to listen other have their own problems to deal with. This is mainly from being the sounding board for my parents and whenever I tried to tell them otherwise or how it was effecting me I was told I just didn't understand or wasn't listening. so basically what the F*** do I do. I feel like I need to cry but I know I'll just get angry or so pissed off or confused and to make sense I'll start cutting again as its the only thing that makes sense. I no this is probs in the wrong forum but when I posted in the other one I started talking bout SH and thought I should come here but now I'm starting to think that this post should be in the other forum. What should I do; should I cry and grieve 'properly' and risk going back to my old habits or just focus on the good memories and refrain from crying so I don't harm myself?