I thought I wouldnt be back on here

[itcouldbeworse]

Hey.. I didn't think i would end up back on here because I thought I was getting better. No one really has to respond to this i am just upset and probably going to rant about something really minor or stupid compared to others problems. Actually makes me feel selfish now that i think about it one of the reasons I normally don't rant to my friends. The other reason is that people well my friends just don't want to stay around to help i guess they just don't know what to say. I just wish they would at least try to show that their at least here for me. And then I just started college this year and I don't want my newer friends to see me like this or even the sisters in my sorority but I'm afraid they'll just back out too, I just want a friend I can complain to every now and then and that will just be there when I need them. I used to have a best friend that did this for me and we were attached at the hip almost but then he moved away and barely talks to me cuz hes busy and cant even send one text to at least acknowledge the fact that I'm trying to get a hold of him or that I'm alive. He knew how bad my depression was and what I was dealing with and he still doesn't check in id feel better if he'd just send one text that's all. I just don't want to feel like this anymore and I wasn't for a while but its back and i cant focus on school or my social life and just want to lay around and cry. Sorry its pathetic but i don't care that's just how it is. Just like i deal with almost no sleep because of my constant nightmares and I still have a problem with the dark. Well I guess I'm done i just want another friend who will actually be here for me not just say they are then hide in the shadows when I need them... Thanks for listening(well reading.):(

[Katiya]

Awwh! I'm sorry! I know the feeling. I had a was good friend that did that shit to me. Now I'd love the wring the bastards neck. Really, he's such an ass. Too "bussy" to care. It sucks and I don't have any super friends either. Although I talk by sneking my complaints into conversation with older friends lol. Just enough to let off some steam but not ruin the conversation haha. Its all I can do. I make sure to talk a about them too and positive stuff so I don't become a drag.
If it really hurts talk to several people about it in conversation, even strangers can help if its not too personal.

I've felt selfish before too. I still do at times. I have a hard time seing thatmy problems are just as bad as others and iI deserve the same care as they. And that its Not selfish to want it or ask for it!

I guarantee you do to. All people are different! One person may be raped and tortured and not suffer much from it, then another person can be completely destroyed by the loss of a friend or seemingly minor bullying. BOTH of those problems are equal, because they both hurt the person and if it hurts you its just as important as others! I understand this because I've lived it. You Deserve Better! :) You really really do!!!

[Katiya]

BTW. If you can keep up talking to a person a lot some times they become trustworthy and you might be able to say "hey, I'm having a hard time, I really don't mean to impose but could I talk to you about something?" Pick a time when they aren't busy or with family so there's no distractions because if they have to go for some reason it will make you feel unimportant even though they don't mean that at all. So its good to set with them when they have a big chunk of free time and not bussy.

You can start by visiting them or doing things with them or talking on the phone. Text usually isn't good because its very impersonal. But some times it works, and you have to try. Its hard for me to try BC I don't want to impose but at the same time I need help and don't know how to ask BC I'm scared of being rejected or ruining things. Most people will try to help, some want to but can't so its important to understand they probably like you but just don't feel they can help.

If they quit returning you calls or text, its time to let go and move on. A few months later try them again once or twice but if they don't reply they aren't ever going to. So yeah give up lol. Find another person to try, you never know when you might hit it off ;)

Life is a game of strategy not speed. Hope I helped a little!!

[JamesSuperBoy]

Hey.. I didn't think i would end up back on here because I thought I was getting better. No one really has to respond to this i am just upset and probably going to rant about something really minor or stupid compared to others problems. Actually makes me feel selfish now that i think about it one of the reasons I normally don't rant to my friends. The other reason is that people well my friends just don't want to stay around to help i guess they just don't know what to say. I just wish they would at least try to show that their at least here for me. And then I just started college this year and I don't want my newer friends to see me like this or even the sisters in my sorority but I'm afraid they'll just back out too, I just want a friend I can complain to every now and then and that will just be there when I need them. I used to have a best friend that did this for me and we were attached at the hip almost but then he moved away and barely talks to me cuz hes busy and cant even send one text to at least acknowledge the fact that I'm trying to get a hold of him or that I'm alive. He knew how bad my depression was and what I was dealing with and he still doesn't check in id feel better if he'd just send one text that's all. I just don't want to feel like this anymore and I wasn't for a while but its back and i cant focus on school or my social life and just want to lay around and cry. Sorry its pathetic but i don't care that's just how it is. Just like i deal with almost no sleep because of my constant nightmares and I still have a problem with the dark. Well I guess I'm done i just want another friend who will actually be here for me not just say they are then hide in the shadows when I need them... Thanks for listening(well reading.):(

Ok it is not pathetic - maybe you just need the right friends as well as knowing (but I think you do) that lots of people just do not know or understand depression and it is difficult for them, and of course college life can be hectic. It is not selfish to want or ask for help. Is there a college counselor you can ask - or can you just try and explain to one or two how you feel.

[NeuroTiger]

Certainly we (friends on VT) are here to listen to you.
It will be a pleasure to help you.
Be strong!!! :) :) :)