gracie135
November 19th, 2013, 02:25 PM
I'm going to vent...
This school year has been tough. Nothing is really going right. I feel like crap most every day, and I really just want to be happy again. A lot of it has to do with lack of sleep and stress, and a lot of it has to do with the lack of support in my life. My mom doesn't really want to help me... her mentality is people should just make the best of their situation. But I hate my situation! I want to act and be in theater so much, but my school's theater program is very selective and only the people who are already triple threats can get parts and feel like a part of the show. And, to make it better, most of the kids who are involved in the program are very exclusive and feel like they're better than everyone else.
And then there's my boyfriend... he's been my very best friend for a long time, but now that's starting to change. He's super busy and happy, and he's got a lot of good things in his life (which is great). We met doing theater outside of school, but he finds it a lot easier than I do. He's been in a lot of shows lately that require him to kiss and/or just be romantic with other girls on stage. In his most recent one, the girl was so pretty and talented. I wish I could be like her. I felt so awful and jealous, and then I feel bad because I just want to be proud of him. And on top of that, a lot of his close friends are girls. He definitely doesn't think about me as much as he used to, and I still think about him almost all the time.
And my new job... I don't like it . I work at a coffee shop, and it's so stressful. It takes up most of my weekend, and I really just want to see my boyfriend (even though he'd be okay not seeing me now). It's so tough... I feel hopeless and like a failure. I don't know what to do, I just want to be happy :(
This school year has been tough. Nothing is really going right. I feel like crap most every day, and I really just want to be happy again. A lot of it has to do with lack of sleep and stress, and a lot of it has to do with the lack of support in my life. My mom doesn't really want to help me... her mentality is people should just make the best of their situation. But I hate my situation! I want to act and be in theater so much, but my school's theater program is very selective and only the people who are already triple threats can get parts and feel like a part of the show. And, to make it better, most of the kids who are involved in the program are very exclusive and feel like they're better than everyone else.
And then there's my boyfriend... he's been my very best friend for a long time, but now that's starting to change. He's super busy and happy, and he's got a lot of good things in his life (which is great). We met doing theater outside of school, but he finds it a lot easier than I do. He's been in a lot of shows lately that require him to kiss and/or just be romantic with other girls on stage. In his most recent one, the girl was so pretty and talented. I wish I could be like her. I felt so awful and jealous, and then I feel bad because I just want to be proud of him. And on top of that, a lot of his close friends are girls. He definitely doesn't think about me as much as he used to, and I still think about him almost all the time.
And my new job... I don't like it . I work at a coffee shop, and it's so stressful. It takes up most of my weekend, and I really just want to see my boyfriend (even though he'd be okay not seeing me now). It's so tough... I feel hopeless and like a failure. I don't know what to do, I just want to be happy :(