Therapy?

[Caerulus]

I'm sorry if this is in the wrong section.

TL;DR

I have the opportunity to speak with a professional about my "mental health issues", which is something I'd quite like to do, but I don't know whether I should or not as it isn't very private, i.e. my parents will attend my sessions, my school will be informed etc. and I am not comfortable with that level of openness.

LONG VERSION (Sorry, I've probably repeated myself several times, I'm a bit stressed about this.)

Back in September I tried to arrange a doctor's appointment about my anxiety and depression without my parents' knowledge and, to put it simply, failed miserably.
My mum insisted on accompanying me to the appointment and listening to everything I had to say, which meant that I couldn't be as open with my doctor as I would have liked. The whole ordeal was very stressful and somewhat triggering and, to be frank, it is not an experience I ever want to repeat.
At home, my parents tried to be supportive, but it was mostly "I'm worried about you" and "Let's talk about your issues in great depth" 24/7.
I hated it. It was probably causing me more stress than anything else.
I'd never intended for them to find out, so them forcing their "help" on me was my worst nightmare realised. I never said anything as they were so worried and I didn't want them to be, so I was polite and avoided the issue as much as I could (which wasn't a lot).
The doctor said he'd refer me to a group that deals specifically in child and adolescent mental health, but we never heard anything back. Until today, that is.

The thing is, I would actually really like to go to these sessions (assuming I get past the initial assessment, of course). I want to talk to someone who will understand and help me with what's going on yet who isn't in my everday life, if you see what I mean.
However, they don't seem concerned with my privacy or comfort at all. They want my school involved. They want my parents to attend my sessions.
And I am not comfortable with that at all.
Things have changed in the fucking two and a half months since that initial doctors appointment. My parents think I'm okay now, and refer to September as "that time Beth was a bit stressed". Not great, I know, but it's a whole lot better than having them breathe down my neck all the time and forcing discussions about my feelings. I do not want that to return.
My mum is encouraging me not to go to the sessions as "there's no going back", "everyone will know", "you're not feeling the same as you were in September", etc. I suppose the last is true, but how am I supposed to explain to her that, while my depression levels are about the same and my social anxiety is slightly less, my general stress levels are higher and I'm dealing with it so badly I hurt myself?

I want to talk to someone outside of my daily life who will understand and help me.
But I don't want to do it so openly.
Any advice? (Please and thankyou ♥)

[Desuetude]

You have a couple of options I think.

The first you could sit down with your parents (probably be easier one at a time) and tell them that although you're slightly better than you were in September you're still feeling unstable and would like to continue with the sessions. Then explain to them how you think you would benefit more from attending them alone rather than have the 2 of them looking on.

You're from England and so I'm pretty sure you're talking about CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health services). I was sent there for a brief period of time until I decided it was doing me more harm than good going to the sessions. They should be keeping it confidential and not involving the school or your parents without your consent and the only reason they should be breaking this policy is if you had confided in them that you were intending to severely hurt yourself or another person. You should sit down with your CAMHS counsellor and tell them you're not comfortable with your school finding out - my school was already involved with CAMHS so they found out anyway but it's not like that for everyone. As for parents I was allowed to choose whether I wanted them at my sessions or not and at the assessment you should be given the same choice or at least bring it up that you'd be more comfortable without them in the room. However bare in mind your CAMHS counsellor might have to do 'up to date' sessions alone with them and during that time you won't know what's being said unless you sit in on them which defeats the object of it in the first place.

The other idea that came to mind was finding out if there was anyone at your school that dealt with stuff like this? A youth worker that comes in? or the head of student care or whatever they're called? If you know someone like this or even a teacher you trust it might be worth telling them or asking them about any service your school runs. You might find the school will have a better privacy policy because they have to have a certain amount of confidentiality with minors and again it should only be broken if you are of major harm to yourself or someone else.

I've told several different adults I trust at my school about self harm and none of them have broken my trust and gone on to tell others which is what should happen for you as well. It might be worth asking all these people about their confidentiality policy before talking to them. Then you'll know exactly where you stand with them and won't feel as stressed and uneasy when wondering how much you should say and what will happen if you do.

Also if you need someone to talk to you could always come to VT. Message me any time if you need someone to just be there for you or talk about how your day was. I'd be more than happy to listen having been in your exact situation half a year ago. I hope all goes well, keep us up to date :)