Is what he did wrong?

[gracie135]

My boyfriend went on a college visit a few months ago, and a girl he says is his "best friend" goes there. She showed him around, and at some point they took a picture together. In the picture he has his arm around her and his hand on her waist. She has her hand on his chest. The picture has caused me to feel extremely hurt and bad about myself. He used it as his twitter background because I don't have a twitter and he thought I would never see it. He even admitted that he did it because he thinks she's attractive and because he thought I wasn't going to see it. He told me that they are just best friends and that even though he thinks she's hot he thinks I'm better looking. But I just can't get over it... he won't admit that he was wrong, and he says that he wouldn't have to go behind my back if I weren't so insecure. And it's true, I am insecure, but this has just made it even worse. What do I do? :( I'm so upset and I don't know how to feel happy again.

[Derryck]

My boyfriend went on a college visit a few months ago, and a girl he says is his "best friend" goes there. She showed him around, and at some point they took a picture together. In the picture he has his arm around her and his hand on her waist. She has her hand on his chest. The picture has caused me to feel extremely hurt and bad about myself. He used it as his twitter background because I don't have a twitter and he thought I would never see it. He even admitted that he did it because he thinks she's attractive and because he thought I wasn't going to see it. He told me that they are just best friends and that even though he thinks she's hot he thinks I'm better looking. But I just can't get over it... he won't admit that he was wrong, and he says that he wouldn't have to go behind my back if I weren't so insecure. And it's true, I am insecure, but this has just made it even worse. What do I do? :( I'm so upset and I don't know how to feel happy again.

Why would he have to go behind your back because your insecure?

[jesusogpaign]

I'd say reassert yourself by telling him clearly that it hurt your feelings, and makes you feel bad. If he doesn't seem to genuinely care about it, or if he just brushes it off, then maybe he's not all that great.

[gracie135]

Why would he have to go behind your back because your insecure?
He doesn't think there's anything wrong with the picture, and he says that if I wasn't so insecure then it wouldn't hurt me so much. He thinks I need to realize that he has a lot of friends that are girls and he thinks of me in a different way.

[Derryck]

He doesn't think there's anything wrong with the picture, and he says that if I wasn't so insecure then it wouldn't hurt me so much. He thinks I need to realize that he has a lot of friends that are girls and he thinks of me in a different way.

Here's my honest to god opinion. He can find other girls attractive if he wants to, it's his right to take pics with them. It's not wrong, you're just butt hurt. But at the same time he should listen to you. It's a 2&2 thing. I mean, yes he should care that it hurts you but he didn't do anything wrong.

[gracie135]

Here's my honest to god opinion. He can find other girls attractive if he wants to, it's his right to take pics with them. It's not wrong, you're just butt hurt. But at the same time he should listen to you. It's a 2&2 thing. I mean, yes he should care that it hurts you but he didn't do anything wrong.
Yeah. I mean, I get celebrities and everything, but I don't see why he needs to take a picture like that with someone he swears is just his friend. He says he wouldn't even date her if we weren't together, but he still finds her attractive. It's just hurtful. But like he said, I'm insecure, so maybe it's my problem

[Derryck]

Yeah. I mean, I get celebrities and everything, but I don't see why he needs to take a picture like that with someone he swears is just his friend. He says he wouldn't even date her if we weren't together, but he still finds her attractive. It's just hurtful. But like he said, I'm insecure, so maybe it's my problem

I think its both of your problems. I do find it weird though that he would say he wouldn't date her if you two weren't together. He finds her attractive, they obviously have fun together. Most legit thing I ever heard. (sarcasm)

[ElijahMouth]

I agree with Jesus, I think it would be good to bluntly say what you feel. In my opinion, he's not crossing any lines. Sure, that picture seems a little weird - but I think you should trust him for now. If something like this happens again then maybe you should be more concerned.

[gracie135]

So do you think it probably means he likes her and he's just not telling me, or he won't admit it to himself?

I think its both of your problems. I do find it weird though that he would say he wouldn't date her if you two weren't together. He finds her attractive, they obviously have fun together. Most legit thing I ever heard. (sarcasm)
So do you think he likes her? Maybe he's not telling me, or maybe he won't admit it to himself.

[MoonMan]

Both of you are in the wrong. I could see where you're coming from by thinking he went behind your back, and he should've definently thought that through instead of posting it as his background like a dumbass without thinking of the possible outcomes and hurt feelings. At the same time he didn't cross any lines and you making him admit things like how he thinks she's hot to confirm to your own insecurities is definently not helping anyone. Chances are you're not the hottest girl in the world and (even if you are) he still will think other women are hot, doesn't mean he's gonna chase after all of them and (so far) he hasn't with this girl. Just leave it be for now. If you see him making more moves dump his ass, but this alone isn't enough IMO.

[satarra3180]

I'd say reassert yourself by telling him clearly that it hurt your feelings, and makes you feel bad. If he doesn't seem to genuinely care about it, or if he just brushes it off, then maybe he's not all that great.

I agree with this and the fact that he would not have made it his Twitter pic if he knew you would see it means he knew it would be disrespectful to you and your relationship, but he did it anyway.

[Derryck]

So do you think he likes her? Maybe he's not telling me, or maybe he won't admit it to himself.

There is a fine line between liking someone and finding someone attractive.

[gracie135]

There is a fine line between liking someone and finding someone attractive.
Yeah, I know. But I don't have to worry? Even if it happens again?

[CharlieHorse]

sit down and have a real conversation about it with him. Take advantage of this happening to establish a better trust between you two as a couple. :)